On the Assault: The Real-Life Weaponry of the Expendables 2

Genre: Short
14 min

- Keep this sucker steady, Toll!

- I'm doin' my best!

Here we go!

Come on, you bastards!

Eat shit!

- Better duck.

- Oh, shit!


Cover up!


- Watch your head, Insect!

- Shut up, Gunner!

Gotta love it!

Incoming chopper!

We gotta get this thing

outta here!

You got any ideas?

- That's what I'm askin' you!

- Well, I'm askin' you.


I got this.


Toll Road, get 'im up.


- Oh, this is embarrassing.

- Yeah, it sure is.

- What's he doin' here?

- Saving this Chinese billionaire.

Oh, yeah? That's funny.

So are we.

Well, then we have

a scheduling problem, don't we?

- Cut me loose... Frankenstein.

- Don't get nuts, Gunner.

Do it.

- Where's your team?

- Waiting.

I need a weapon.

Something big.

- Yours.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

My big weapon's hangin'

right where it is.

C'mon, Caesar. You got a backup.

If I don't get this back,

your ass is terminated.

In your dreams.

- Trench, we got a way out.

- Thanks. I got my own.

Let's get you out of here, pal.

Hey, look. I hate to break up the bromance.

We're 20 seconds late!

Get Moneybags up.

A "thank you" would be nice.

- I hate owing you.

- Well, you do, big boy.

Let's go, Yao.

- Did you win?

- Of course I win.

Let's go!

I'm out!

Now you put on your lucky ring?

One wet wall comin' up.

I got your gang bang

right here!


I got your back!

Keep movin'!

Here we go!

- Why always me?

- You hit?

Yeah, twice.

- Better you than me.

- That's nice. Nice.

- You order room service?

- Not really.

This is gonna be

a piss-poor ending.

- That loaded?

- We can only hope.

Sorry, sir. I had to adjust

for a wind shift.

No problem.

Hit the last position.

Movin' out. Over.

Let's go, go, go!


Let's go! Come on!

Okay, hold on, ladies.

The cavalry's here.

It's about time you got here!

- Wake up Santa.

- On it.


The guy is good. You're good.

Appreciate it, sir.

We'll swing around

and pick you up, kid.

Won't be late, sir.


All right, guys.

Put your toys away.

Target in sight.

- Soup's hot!

- Fire!

- You missed.

- You're aimin'!




- Yeah!

- Whoo!

That was a statement.

Hit it!

- Drop the skis!

- Come on, get rid of this weight.

Climb, baby.

Climb, baby!


It ain't gettin' up!

Lucky ring.

Lucky ring.

We are approximately

Not that I wanna hear it,

what's the oil pressure?

- Faulty.

- Oh, great. And the altimeter?

Would you believe?

It's stuck on 10,000 feet.

- Hydraulics?

- What hydraulics?


You own another piece of junk now.

- Hey, can we talk when you're not too busy?

- Sure, anytime.

Kid's amazing.

Really. So am I.

You're just used to me.

Get the client ready.

What is going on?

Looks like you're takin'

a shortcut home, pal.

Parachute good?


Why you got a parachute?

Can you believe they changed

our landing permit until tomorrow?

Yeah, but it's okay.

I'll get home a little earlier.

Fifteen seconds.

Openin' the hatch!

Yang, get Moneybags home safely.

So when you comin' back?

Maybe soon, maybe never.

Maybe try a new life.

Then who am I supposed

to pick on?

You will find another minority.



See you later... alligator.

That's real Chinese takeout.

Floor it. I'm homesick.

You got it.

Yes! I love this song! Whoo!

Juliet! Two.

Christmas... my friend...

Please tell me

you ain't goin' through with this.

Course I am. Look at that girl.

Who wouldn't marry 'er?

She cheated on you.

- It was a half-cheat.

- Which is?

The other side of a half-truth.

- The facts are murky.

- Murky.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"On the Assault: The Real-Life Weaponry of the Expendables 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 31 May 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/on_the_assault%3A_the_real-life_weaponry_of_the_expendables_2_7862>.

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