Oh Boy

Synopsis: Focused around the sexuality of men following occasional recurring characters and their personal exploration of sex.
Genre: Drama, Short
22 min

You doing well?


Yeah, I have to go.

- Already?

- I've got an appointment.

- I'll call you, OK?

- Sit back down.

- Did you sleep well?

- Mhm.

- Should I make us another coffee?

- That'd be nice, but I'm late.

- What're you doing tonight?

- Nothing, I bet.


- Because I have a thousand things to do.

- What do you have to do?





Niko Fischer,

you tested positive for alcohol

at a traffic stop again, correct?

- That is correct, yes.

- Are you nervous?

- A little.

- You don't have to be.

It's going to go on your

driver's license anyways, right?


- Mhm.

- MPE. Do you know what that means?

Medical-Pyschological Examination.

More commonly known as?

- The idiot-test?

- Correct.

"Idiot-test. " And who are you

calling "Idiot?" Me or you?

- Me.

- Because?

Because I've made an idiot

of myself

and you have to check whether or not

I'm allowed to drive again.

Right. Well done.

So, last time we picked you up

with 0.7 parts per million.

That's very close to dodging

the legal limit, no?

If you're driving,

you shouldn't drink at all.

- But one glass is OK, right?

- No.

- Not if you're driving.

- But, I mean, 0.7 parts per million...

My wife is just as drunk after

three rum balls in the evening.

Is my wife endangering the

the roadways?

I'd say that too, but...

If your wife was at 0.7 ppm after

three rum balls,

the law does not allow her to drive.

Are you really so concerned with that?

Laws, Rules?

- I studied law once.

- Oh great, a lawyer.

I never finished.


Because I dropped out.



Because I'd noticed,

that perhaps it wasn't for me.

- What did your parents say about that?

- They weren't happy.

- But now you have a good job?

- Yeah. Yeah, very good. Good.

- Mhm.

- Are you in a relationship?

- Mr. Fischer.

- Ja?

- A relationship?

- I understood you.

- Was?

- I understand you.

But I've noticed

that you don't want to answer me.

I don't want to appear hopeless,

but do such direct questions about

my private life really pertain here?

- Direct?

- Yes.

I can be a lot more direct.

Are you gay?

Do you have complexes,

because you're so so small?

Are you an alcoholic,

because you're so teeny-weeny?

I'm not an alcoholic.

Some months I don't even drink.

Not drinking is not drinking,

and 0.7 ppm is 0.7 ppm.

- Have you already been drinking today?

- No.

No coffee, no water?

Ugh. Of course I've drunk water.

Oh - so by "drinking" you mean alcohol?

- I misunderstood you.

- How have you misunderstood me?

- I didn't think

- What?

That it was a leading question.

A leading question! Mr. Fischer, please.

I'm no linguistic acrobat.

I'd also like to make

an evening of it.

- That can't happen. No driver's license.

- Why?

You're emotionally unbalanced.

Your living situation

suggests a relapse.

- You can't judge that yet.

- No?


I've already done that.

Beautiful day, anyways.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

- What'll it be.

- A coffee to go.

- To go?

- Mhm.

- And for you?

- Black coffee.

Don't you want to try something new?

Today's special is a Maroccino.

With a chocolate donut for two euros more.

Homemade and organic.

Mhm, I'll just take the coffee.

All right. We've got "Caf Arabica"

or "Columbia Morning. "

Which one is regular coffee?

- They both taste good to me.

- Great. I'll take the Columbia, then.

The Colombia. Very well.

- Should I add milk?

- No.

- Soy milk?

- Please, no.

All right. 3.40, please.

- Without the special? Just the coffee?

- Yeah, 3.40.

-3.40 for a coffee?

- That's the Colombia.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Oh Boy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 21 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/oh_boy_15116>.

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