Observe And Report

Synopsis: Ronnie Barnhardt lives with his alcoholic mother. He's chief security guard at Forest Ridge Mall, where he's in love with Brandi, a cosmetic sales clerk, and gets a free coffee each day from Nell, a cheery clerk in the food court. A flasher haunts the mall's parking lot, and at night, thefts occur. Ronnie is intent on catching the criminals but has no investigative skills, is delusional about his abilities, and makes mad accusations. His bête noire is Detective Harrison, the city cop sent to investigate. Ronnie thinks he could be an officer, thinks he stands a chance with Brandi, and slowly loses his self control. Will reality set in? What about redemption?
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Jody Hill
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  1 win & 4 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
86 min


Hey b*tch!


I'm gonna f*** you!

Touch it, slut.

- Jesus.

See my dick!

Guess what happened today, guys.

Can any of you guess?

The Yuens f***ed up big time.

Instead of watching the mall ...

like they're supposed to, they let a god damned

pervert come and show his fuckingcock ...

to around 15 people.

So good job, guys.

You f***ed up big.

- Yeah, you've hurt Ronnie, and nobody hurts Ronnie.

Now apologize to him.

- Sorry.

Now you say that like you mean it.

- Ok. So sorry.

That sounded like they're laughing on it.

- Guys, I need you to step it up!

Hey guys, you want this?

You want to experience what this is?

I want to see a lot more and I want to see it now.

- You will.

Get the f*** out of my face.

Thank you, man. That was great.

- My pleasure, man.

I'm standing here at the Forest Ridge Mall ...

where earlier today a man exposed himself to

several women, before fleeing the scene.

I am here with Ronnie Barnhardt,

one of the security guards at the mall ...

No. Cut! You f***ed up.

Madam, I'm the head of the mall security, you should say it right.

Well, Officer Barnhardt ...

- Action.

Right, is there any information

you can shed on the situation?

So we just keep going, even

when you f***ed up my title?

Okay ,...

Well, I am standing here with this doctor ...

Okay, how do I ah steer you,

towards the oil-free foundation?

She was like, 'Oh, yeah, I don't want a moisturizer...aaaa'

Oh sh*t...Oh sh*t...

What were you guys talking about?

What were you saying to each other?

So Ronnie, what is it you stopped by for?

- I'm sure you heard about this, but ...

we had a pervert sexually assaults

several women in mall the parking lot.

Oh really? A pervert?

Yeah. So you know I just thought, to tell you,

you know, just to be careful...

...watching your comings and your goings.

Do you think we are gonna be safe?

- Yes Bruce, I think you'll be just fine.

Bruce wants to know if we will be safe.

I actually gotta warn the pervert,

that Bruce is out there.

Look at me, I'm Bruce.

Look, is the pervert gonna get me?

I'm just f***ing with you Bruce.

- I think Ronnie that I'm, ah, I'm gonna be just fine.

Yeah well everyone thinks they're fine, until someone

puts something in there where they don't wanna 'ave 'em.

Well okay, I guess it's probably time to ...ck...ck...ck

Well, okay I see you guys. You just...

...do your thing.

What? Okay. I thought I heard you.

So Ronnie, you talked with Mark

about lifting that firearm restriction?

Oh, yeah, we should be good soon.

But technically it's still ...

The S50 just came out.

- No way?

Semi Auto

for you know, like the back of the golf cart.

The new model, 1216,

carries 20 rounds of twelve inch gauged shotgun shells.

Wait, wait, wait it holds 20 rounds?

I thought it was only 18.

No, 20.

- You're confirming for sure it was 20?

Yes, I'm confirming it was 20. That's confirming. Yes.

- Yes, indeed.

Well guys, we got tazers,

we got mace ...

It's not bad, I guess it will have to do for a while.

- Yeah. Well..

Yeah, still, it would be so much cooler

if we were able to carry guns.

Guns work best.

I uh, I'd like to deliver a personal message

to this perverted individual.

You show up again

and you see what happens, okay?

I will murder you.

I will f***ing murder you!

Well, no comment ...

- You're f***ing dead!

No comment was made as to identity of the assailant...

I use mace and tazers and...

- ...as the story develops.

Ronnie, I'm so proud of you.

You really think I did good?

- Hell yes.

Your system ...

You're just screwed up, you're great.

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Jody Hill

Jody Hill is an American film director, producer and screenwriter. In 2006, he directed, co-wrote, co-produced and co-starred in his first film The Foot Fist Way, which he based on his experience as a Taekwondo black belt and instructor. His follow-up film, Observe and Report, stars Seth Rogen and was released on April 10, 2009. Hill is also co-creator, director and executive producer of the HBO series Eastbound & Down and Vice Principals. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Observe And Report" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 7 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/observe_and_report_15067>.

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