Not Another Happy Ending

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Roddy! School.

Morning.

Get that would you?

If you're not giving me a lift

I'll have to get another minicab.

Tristesse Books.

I've got 'Wuthering Heights'

with my Year Tens. Hello. Yes?

Tristesse Books? Tom Duval?

Oh, yes, come in. Just down the hall..

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah,

he's a wonderful writer.

Very unremittingly bleak. No,

Tristesse doesn't publish him any more.

Do you know what? He had a

little disagreement with Tom..

Yeah, she's one of

my favourites. Yeah.

Yea, she was long-listed for the Booker,

you know? Right after she was sectioned.

No. She... she left too. Jane Lockhart.

What are you doing?

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...

I was just touching it.

Not like 'touching' it, that's like

molesting. Like I'm some kind of pervert.

Which I'm not.

So, Young European Publisher of the

Year, Runner Up? That's really impressive.

I have a swimming certificate.

Who the hell are you?

Jane Lockhart.

I wrote 'The Endless Anguish of My Father'.

Ah. Yes.

Follow me.

I'm busy, so I'll keep this

brief. I read your novel.

I'm afraid it needs work. A lot of work.

Please. Sit down.

But it has potential,

so I'm going to publish it.

I'm offering you a two-book deal.

It's going mean a lot of rewriting...

...definitely a new title

- and neither of us will get rich...

...but I think you have it in you

to be a writer and, unfashionable...

...as it may seem, that's what I

came here to find. I believe you are..

...crying.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to start...

It's just, it's been so long. So

many rejections and I have a board...

You have a board?

Of rejection letters.

I call it my Board of Pain.

Well that's completely normal.

It is?

I'm sorry. He was like this at university.

Everywhere he went crying women.

You lot are supposed to be

charming. Charmant, n'est-ce pas?

- I told you, never speak in French to me.

- Don't you dare. - No, no, no really...

I've never been so happy in all my life.

Jane. There is no need to be nervous.

Nervous? Me? No. No. No. I'm not nervous.

Not me. Okay, a little bit nervous.

You'll be fine.

Sorry it's just usually I need

a run-up before I start editing.

Like tea. A walk. Regret in the shower.

Or we could just begin.

Okay. Okay, yes.

So where do you want to begin?

Well, call me crazy,

but we could start at the beginning.

Yeah. Okay, yeah. Crazy Frenchman.

What?

I don't know. Great.

So you're in a good mood.

I'm always in a good mood.

- No you're not.

- Yes I am.

- Are you?

- Yes.

Oh.

Well, actually I'm

reading it right now...

"I shut my eyes and sank into the water

letting it caress over my face and hair..."

I was just, you know, passing,

and thought it might...

...have come back from the

printer's and it actually has...

"Beneath my feet I felt crumbled pages.."

I don't believe this.

I'll call you back.

'Happy Ending'? 'Happy Ending'!?

What happened to 'The

Endless Anguish of My Father'?

What happened? You know how important this

stuff is. You changed my title! To that?

I told you. The very first

time we met. I said it must go.

Yes but we never discussed it.

I knew how you'd react, darling.

Oi, careful. That's my

Young Publisher of the Year award.

Runner-up!

What's wrong with you?

Who are you?

What?

All that time we spent

together working on the manuscript.

No-one's ever got me the way you...

I don't know you.

Look, it was a terrible

title and I changed it.

What's done is done. Let's move on.

How can it be so easy for you?

Perhaps because I am not a

moderately talented writer whose...

...loser dad left her with an inability

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