Noor

---

There's an ancient quote by Buddha.'

The trouble is you

think you've got the time.'

I often get these kind of quotes

on whatsAppf.

But they're way beyond my grasp, '

And the closest

I ever came to Buddhism...'

was a close friendship

with 'Old Rum'.

And that friendship

got too intense last night.'

We crossed all limits...'

and what did I get in return.'

4000 extra calories,

and a blockbuster hangover.'

That reminds me, my weight is greater

than my followers on Twitter.'

Why does everything

that star-ts out so amazingly...'

end so badly?'

I hate my life.

Maltil!

Maltil!

I'm so dependent on Malti and have

no idea what I'd do without her.'

And this is Dimpy.'

"Who I call the son my dad never had."

And me? Sometimes I feel

I'm his step-daughter.

This is my one-room-kitchen.'

I spend half of my life

on Mumbai's roads.'

And my average commuting time is longer

than the flight from Mumbai to Dubai.'

And turbulence? Full.'

In fact, even these potholes

have become my friends.'

Thanks to them, I changed my

tyres six times in the last one year...'

which is expensive.'

Everything I own is bought

on installments.'

And so I had to give up smoking.'

I can't afford it.'

I can't afford anything.'

In fact, my entire life is on installments now,

which exceeds even my salary.'

I am Noor... Noor Roy Chaudhary.'

Journalist... or Joker!'

Journalist? Jo...!'

Frankly, sometimes I feel

I am less of a journalist...'

and more of a joker.'

But let's look on the bright side.'

It's still not too late.'

If I learn to take the right step

at the right time'

then I'm sure I'll reach exactly

where I deserve to be.'

Most geniuses do.'

Today is my 28th

binhday... another year gone.'

The world failed to

discover me this year again.'

But next year...

all this is going to change.'

The world of serious journalism...'

is going to get

their new Barkha.'

No more adult sites.'

This year you haven't got a chance...'

because this year,

I'm going to find myself a real man'

This year... I'll be turning over from

'Seedhi-Savitri'(Decent) to a 'Tedhi Savitri'.

I've got an odd habit...'

I talk to myself a lot.'

Anywaymfirst work, then life.'

Always and every time.'

I am getting feelers from CNN.'

Who knows... maybe I'll

get my dream job this monsoon.'

however we regret

to inform you... blah-blah...

Of course.

How can I do it without you?

Right.

Of course, baby. Of course.

Noor!

Yeah!

There was a time

when every journalist...'

wanted to grow up

and be like Shekhar Das.'

He was never afraid

of being inside the action.'

But... love changes everyone.'

Shekhar got married

to Lavina... and bam...'

That was the end.'

That's the journey from

'risk' to 'lshq' (LOVE)'

Now there's just BBTT.'

Biwi (WIFE),

Bacche (KIDS), Trips and TRPS.'

I've to go now, baby. Bye.

That's the world of Shekhar Das.'

There...

Where?

There...

Lunch with Lavina.

So...

Go.

Where?

Film City.

What?

Sunny Leone... interview.

Shekhar, even I have plans.

What plans...?

You're a journalist. Now go.

The crew's already on their way.

You know, it's not even 11130...

and already 17 people

have died in the local trains.

And, what about the coastal

road proposed by the government...

that's ruining the

livelihoods of the fishermen.

And the file on the

Sewage Workers...

which I kept on your table a

month ago... it's still rotting there.

Film City... Sunny Leone... Now!

Shekhar, it's my birthday.

Happy birthday, Noor.

Now go.

Baby...

I'm not going to meet her... No!

Screw you!

I heard that!

And listen wear your black

halter, not the red one.

Black makes you look... slim...

You know what I mean.

Did I mention that Levine's dad

is the owner of a big news channel?'

And he gave Shekhar

this news agency as dowry.'

And now this is the only

job this news agency's got.'

Covering crappy stories for

Shekhafis father-in-laws company.'

This is my screwed up life...

and this is my screwed up boss.'

Junior correspondent at The Buzz.'

It's just a cool name,

there's no buzz here.'

And my show,

Mumbai believe it or not.'

It's the most pointless

show in the world.'

Meaning... l am the most pointless

journalist in this world.'

So this story will

be perfect for my show.'

Did celebrated journalist Shekhar Das

fall down the stairs of his own office?'

To post or not to post.'

ls Shekhar Das really fallen so low?'

In case you didn't notice,

I've got a strange habit...'

I talk to myself.'

One for Goregoan, please.

The population of

Mumbai is 225 million.'

Which comprises of

50% male and 50% female.'

Meaning there are around

100 million guys in this city.'

Yet, I am single.'

Its easier hiring a hitman to kill

someone than finding a decent guy.'

Oh no... what if I die today?'

Noor Roy Chaudhary...'

Risking her life, while travelling between

Churchgate to Goregaon in the rains...'

falls from the train and dies.'

In the line of duty.'

That too, on her birthday.'

it will definitely

make the headlines.'

Do you know why?'

Because Noor was on her way

to interview... The Sunny Leone.'

So this is my life, and that's hers.'

That's fame, is it?'

Living in an ugly white box.'

At least she's got an umbrella,

spot-boy, make-up man.'

What do I have?'

Rain... and these two goons.'

But seriously...

what the hell am I doing here?'

Hi, Sunny.

Thanks for joining us today.

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