Never Say Die

Synopsis: Bob Hope is being stalked by a predatory widow who is a widow of wealthy husbands many times over. Martha Raye is a Texan heiress who wants to marry her boyfriend Andy Devine, but her ...
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Elliott Nugent
Production: Paramount Pictures
82 min


[Woman Speaking French]

[Speaking French]

[People Chattering]

[Bell Ringing]


The bell!

[Ringing Stops]


Ugh! Tastes like

old chicken wire.


Yes, but you've

taken off 20 pounds.


Au revoir.

Oh! How is he

this morning?

Tolerably well.

He says his liver's acting up

a bit, but, you know.

Ah, good morning.

And how is poor,

dear Mr. Kidley?

His gall bladder spent

a rather peaceful night.

Ah, that's good.

That's good.

Splendid. Splendid.

However, he complains

of a shooting pain

in his sacroiliac.

Oh, good morning.

Isn't he the Kidley

of Kidley's Korn Plasters?

Kidley's Beans, madam,

if you don't mind.


I ate some once.

Very tasty.

Thank you, madam.

Ah, Jeepers.

Good morning.

How is Mr. Kidley

this morning?

Up and down-ish,

thank you, sir.

His liver was a bit

squeamish during the night.

That's nice.

Did he invent

the Kidley Bean?

His grandfather did,


I understand

Mr. Kidley inherited

quite a little money.

$20 Million, madam.

I shouldn't call that

"a little."

Please, please.


Ladies, ladies,

please, please.

This is for Mr. Kidley.

Is that you,


Yes, sir.

Is that you,


Yes, sir.

Oh, Jeepers,

I'm a very sick man.

Very sick.

Will you take that?

Oh, it's terrible.

Normal, sir.

Oh, but it can't be!

Ninety-eight and six-tenths,

sir, right on the nose.

Oh, that thing's

broken again.

[Thermometer Clinking]

If I may say so, sir,

it's all poppycock.

You're as healthy

as a fire horse.

Oh! Oh, is that so?

Well, why do you think

I came to Switzerland,

to yodel?

And how about yesterday?

That dizzy spell

when I fell downstairs?

You saw me yourself.

Anyone would fall

downstairs, sir.

Eight aspirins

before breakfast.

Well, now, don't quibble.

If you had what I've got...

- What have you got, sir?

- Well, l...

Well, you wait till

I see Dr. Schmidt

this afternoon.

He'll tell you

what I've got.

Dr. Schmidt!

Yes. Dr. Schmidt

is the biggest

stomach man in Europe.

Very well, sir.

Whatever he says goes.

You're not getting

a chill, sir?

No. I forgot

to shake the bottle.

Don't let me

forget that, Jeepers.

And here, give me

my bad gas water.


[Birds Singing]


There. An ice bag

and a hot water bottle,

right away.

Oh, not to bed

again, sir.

It... It's all sunshiny

outside, sir!

The birds are singing!

Oh, shut the window!

I hate 'em!

And besides,

they're off-key.

Close 'em out.

[Car Approaching]

Mr. Kidley

staying here?

Yes, madam.

Rooms 201,

2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.

Get out, Hannah.

This is it.



Oh, sir! Sir!

It's her, sir.

It's she!

She's here, sir.

Sir, she's here!

Jeepers, this is no time

for your romances.

Get the ice bag

and cool off.

But sir!

Sir, she's here!

The-The-The one

from St. Moritz.

The one with four names.

Marko? She's here?

That's it.

Yes. Yes.

Mrs. Jones-DeBaupre-

Ivansoff-Marko, sir.

She's followed us.

Well, where is she?

I don't see her.

She's in this hotel, sir.

In the hotel?

Oh, Jeepers, I'm cursed.

Every time a woman finds out

I've got $20 million

and bad health...

she falls in love

with me.

The butterflies were easy

to brush off, sir,

but this one's a black widow.

Well, don't stand there.

Do something!

Tell her I died.


I knew it was a mistake

to encourage her, sir.

I did not.

It was an accident.

Room 312 and 412.

Anybody can get off

at the wrong floor.


Well, answer the door.

No, don't answer the door!

Lock it! Lock it!


Don't stand...

[Knocking Continues]

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Don Hartman

Samuel Donald Hartman (18 November 1900, New York - 23 March 1958, Palm Springs, California) was an American screenwriter and director. He and Stephen Morehouse Avery were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Story for The Gay Deception (1935). more…

All Don Hartman scripts | Don Hartman Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Never Say Die" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Oct. 2021. <>.

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