Neues vom Wixxer

Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
98 min

bell sounds

As usual too late, Eddie

Chief Inspector! Who is that guy? The brother of Pan Tau?

Inspector Very Long my partner.....and the hot Eddie - a greasy informant.

Now, what do you have for us?

I have informations ... about the Wixxer (masturbator)...

the really...

your old colleague....Inspector Rather-short!

We already know that!

Was even mentioned in the newspaper.

But unfortunately he run away

OK....Rather-short is in this very


"In the ass????"

I heard "in Argentinia"

or "Aachen"? (city in Germany)

the informant speaks very unclear...

Yes, Eddie, you are SUPER!

You are the best! The number one of the informants!

Red Indians!!


You take that way!


The Wixxer....

Go on, Rather! Take off your stupid mask.

No further step!


I am coming!

Chief Inspector - catch!


Because of you Rather-Short got away again!

No he did not!

Here lies Rather-Short. Because he is dead.


That means:
There is a new Wixxer....

And there are another 6 graves...but all empty.

Chief inspector I think we have a problem.

I think YOU have a problem.

(here lies Very Long)

Hello! Here speaks EDGAR WALLACE!


Seven graves - seven heads....

and who is that?

That's me, Sir.

Ha, no seriously - who is the ugly bird?

That's really him.

And who is this little b*tch?

Sir John !! This is Miss Victoria Dickham.

What?! THE Victoria Dickham?! - I don't know her at all.

She is the doughter of Lord David - your predecessor.

David Dickham, the best man of Scottland Yard. The legend...

Oh yes, Dicky the old criminal. And who are the three negroes there?

They all look the same....

From those we just have the names. Brinkman is taking care of that.

Why am I on the deathlist with those people? I even don't know them.

But Please do not take that to serious.

What do you think how often I was on deathlists already?

Why don't we send him on holidays?

Can not do. He doesn't have any holidays left...

Oh, that's bad luck.

Or we bring him to a safe place - and wait until the whole thing is over.

You want to insult him ?! An Inspectior of the

Yard would rather die than give away that case!

Ok! Than you just stay here!

My office is called the "safest place on earth" for a reason!


Good News, Sir John! I do not have cancer after all!

Who ever is the new Wixxer - he means serious bussiness!

He already ordered seven coffins - all for tomorrow.

That means we have only one day.

And how many hours does such a day have?


My Name is chief inspector Even Longer. And this is the longest day of my life.

All what you see is happening in realtime. Only a lot faster...

Well, if it is like that, I make ourselves a nice coffee first.

It must be here.

Good afternoon, gentlemen. WHat can I do for you?

Scottland Yard! We must urgently speak with Lord Dickham.

A pleasure. I will see whether Lord Dickham is available for the gentlemen.

Please enter.

You have a funny accent.

I am from Germany.


Ehm. This fat man and his assistant want to talk to you, my Lady.

Scottland Yard!

But my lawer already explained everything!

This group of kids run into my Rolls Royce!

Its about you stepdaughter.


I am Chief Inspector Even Longer. Oh, ehm... sorry, I... just quickly...

Do you have a precise idea what you hope to find down there?

Ehm, Lord Dickham! Nice that we finally meet....

My beautiful nose - it was just brand new!

I buy you a new one, darling. Now breathe slow - very calm now ....

And you! ahve now exactly ten seconds for an explanation

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Oliver Kalkofe

Oliver Lars Fred Kalkofe (born 12 September 1965) is a German satirist, columnist, book author, actor, voice actor, writer and audiobook narrator. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Neues vom Wixxer" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 4 Jul 2022. <>.

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