
National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze
- Year:
- 2003
- 30 Views
Hey, Pete!
Hey, hold this.
I bought some sausage
to go with crackers
for Adrienne and me
because we made out last night.
Think she likes crackers?
I can't right now.
I gotta go. I'm in a hurry.
because I believe Adrienne's family
is of French descent.
Interesting. Look, I gotta go.
There should be plenty
if you want some later.
- Okay. Good luck.
- See you.
- You all right? Go!
- Wish me luck!
Last final.
Aced it, baby. Aced it!
Party time!
It all starts now.
Hey, I'm trying to study.
Booker, you finished
your last final yesterday.
I'm getting a head start
on next semester.
Wrong kind of head, little brother,
because today, you become a man.
No longer--get up--will you
look at yourself and see a little boy.
No longer will you cry in the shower
knowing no matter how hard you scrub,
you cannot rid yourself
of that most heinous of afflictions.
- Virginity!
- I don't cry in the shower.
Settle down.
This is all a very complicated process,
so pay attention.
Chicks won't have sex with a guy unless
the guy's bagged at least four other chicks.
Girls are shallow and want
a guy with experience--like me.
How am I supposed
to have sex with a girl
if girls won't have sex with a guy
who hasn't had sex?
The same way all men have been
doing it for thousands of years.
- The on-ramp to manhood--whores.
- I'm not going to a hooker!
- Don't you wanna be cool like me?
- You're not cool.
- Yes, I am.
- I'm not going to a hooker.
Look, I figured you'd try
and pussy out like this,
being the pussy that you are,
you pussy!
So I've already called an escort service,
your whore's on the way,
and I told everyone, so they're all gonna
think you're a homo if you don't do her.
I'm not giving
my special gift to a hooker.
I'm in love with Rachel.
You're a fag!
Forget that prude.
And that's for calling virginity
your special gift.
If you must call it something,
call it your horrible shame,
because that's what it is,
loser ass.
Did you really tell everyone
you got me a hooker?
Yes.
Now, you're gonna have sex with
this whore, and you're gonna like it.
Merry Christmas.
Did you hear?
Styles got Booker a prostitute.
- No way.
- Yes, way! He told me himself.
Pete, you've gotta hear this.
- I gotta meet someone at the station.
- Friend from out of town?
We're carpooling home for break.
- What's with the Christmas tree?
We're not supposed to have
Christmas trees--it's a fire hazard.
But the R.A. went home,
so who cares?
Whatever. See ya.
No, I can't come down.
No, I can't!
Adrienne, did you hear
about the prostitute?
Yeah, Styles told me.
It's disgusting. I don't even think
we should let her in the house.
- I agree.
- Tony, did you hear?
Yes, I heard about the prostitute,
and, no, I don't care.
- But prostitution--
- You know what?
You two need to stay out
of other people's shit.
You need to get a life.
He's such an asshole.
I don't know why Claire's with him.
Yeah, what an asshole.
- Don't you think Tony's an asshole?
- Yeah.
- What's your problem?
- I kinda made out with Newmar last night.
I don't even need to tell you
how pathetic that is.
over Christmas.
- I doubt it. He's Jewish.
- How long are you here?
My last final's on Saturday.
Come on, Lynne.
Let's go yell at Styles.
No prostitute is coming into this dorm
if I have anything to say about it.
- Hey, Adrienne.
- Gerri, how was the spelunking trip?
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"National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/national_lampoon_presents_dorm_daze_14597>.