Najlepszy kolega

Genre: Short
35 min

present a film

by ukasz Palkowski

Legnica, 1978


F***, honey, cops!

I got a cut!

Stop! Militia!





based on actual events

The Legment Cultural Club

written by

You're a champion, man!

F*** me...

The buffet is now open!

- Haven't seen you before. You new?

- Yeah, hi.

Come on.

We're all family.

For f***'s sake,

she's my girlfriend!

Sorry. I'm Andrzej.

Hi. I'm Grayna.

This is my f***ing best friend.

And there's Krzysiek.

Say hi!

- Hi! I'm Krzysiek.

- Hi. I'm Grayna.

music by

All right, gentlemen.

An initiation ceremony.

Well, well, well.

Huxley wrote

'The Doors of Perception'

after an eight-hour trip

on mescaline.

- While Nietzsche liked opium...

- What the f*** are you talking about?

90 per cent of philosophy students

in the West do drugs.

Philosophy? Impossible!

The more drugs you do,

the smarter you get.

directed by

Not sure, man.

No one can understand women.

But I guess she's spot on.

She's never bitching.

You wanna have fun,

she has fun with you.

She steals with you.

She has a fix with you.


Meaning she's f***ing awesome.

Don't worry. Things are fine.

- You're pissing on your trousers.

- Sh*t!

- Watch out, Jurek!

- What?

If I f***ing see you with her,

I'll kill you like a dog.

Get it?!


Take her bag!

Show me your tits!

We don't know when,

we don't know why...

F***ing cops are gonna die!

We don't know when,

we don't know why...

F***ing cops are gonna die!

Run, f***ing run!

I love you, you know?

Love you too, honey.

Go, f***ing go!

What now, dipshits?

You'll leave my daughter alone.

You won't call her,

meet her, write her.


You'll disappear from her life. OK?

So I'm gonna need...

A passport for starters

and a thousand dollars.

You really want me

to f*** your sh*t up?

- Your mug is itching?

- I know!

I'll just tell her I'm a poof!

You really think

Grayna cares about you?

She met a scumbag

who respects nothing.

She got enchanted for a moment.

Easy come, easy go.

She won't even lift a finger.

And you, punk?

Did you count on getting more?

I thought you had

a nice big house.

We might all fit in, right?

Write down the minutes!

Who are your accomplices?

How did you try to topple

our government?


Lie down!

- Lie down! Don't move!

- Let f***ing go of me!

Hi, you!


- F***!

- You scared me, honey.

At least, I finally met

your old man.

Nice gentleman.

- You all right?

- Yep.

So let's get the f*** outta here.

- Where are your clothes?

- In the cabinet.

Honey, I'm off to school.

See you tonight!

You little punks!

Told you not to hit the stand!

Where have you been again?

Oh, you remembered!

Thank you.

You don't look too good, son.

That girl should leave you alone.

She exhausts you.

Is it serious?

Mum, stop it.

It's not like I'm getting married.

That's good.

It's noon.

Shouldn't you be at work?

Fancy some soup?


I bought them for you.


With my money.

I stole them from a news-stand.

What's this?

Happy birthday.

I had my birthday on the fourth.

I had my payday on the tenth.

- It's past the twentieth.

- You forgot about something.

Thank you, Dad!

What will you get me

in February for Christmas?

two years later

F*** off.


F***ing sulks...


Oh, boy...

- You all right?

- F*** off!

- You're on a bad trip or what?

- Kind of.

'Scuse me!

Got a spare cigarette?

- Let's go back, love.

- F*** off!

What's your problem?!

My f***ing problem is

that I'm pregnant.


You're gonna be a grandma!

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Jerzy Janicki

Jerzy Janicki (10 August 1928 in Chortkiv – 15 April 2007 in Warsaw) was a Polish writer, journalist and scriptwriter. Author of many radio auditions, among them most famous is the radio drama Matysiakowie. He wrote many books about Kresy, particularly about the city of Lwów (now Lviv, Ukraine). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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