My Friend Dahmer

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Is it a person?

Yes.

Is this person living?

Yes.

Is this person famous?

Sort of.

Would I know this person?

No.

Is this person a boy?

Yes.

Does this person live

anywhere near here?

No.

Hey, who was that?

Why are you standing?

Hey kid, get in your seat.

Get in your seat.

(Speaking with speech

We could frame

this whole wall of windows

with drapes.

Oh... oh that's...

that's an idea.

Jeff!

What are you doing home?

I thought you were at tennis.

Mom, I told you,

tennis season is over.

Oh.

Oh sorry, Jeff.

This is Mr. burlman.

He's my new interior designer.

Jeff, this is... this is Mr...

Mr. burlman.

Nice

to meet you, Jeff.

Don't... don't...

don't be alarmed by that.

- It's just a little...

- palsy.

- Palsy.

- Yeah.

Just a little palsy.

Don't you do that.

He's a very talented designer.

Oh.

I heard that, Mrs. dahmer.

Thank you very much.

These windows...

super talented.

Spectacular.

Have I told you I found these

very sort of Lacy drapes?

Oh, I don't know...

"dwapes."

Come on, I don't want

to miss monty python.

You

know what I mean?

Say no more, say no more.

Hey dahmer, what's in the bag?

Dead cat?

Well, I'm

going to dissolve it.

Huh?

In some acid.

What?

So full of crap.

Where did you get acid?

My dad's a chemist.

Got my hands on it easy.

Yeah right.

Well, come see if

you don't believe me.

The acid's kind of weak,

so takes about a month

for the flesh to dissolve.

Why are you doing this?

I like bones.

It interests me what's inside.

This is a bunch of bull crap.

Dead animals, acid.

Bet these jars are full of

nothing but muddy water.

Found this about a

month ago on Hampton road.

The flesh is almost

completely dissolved now.

Yeah right.

God, dahmer, you

are such a freak.

How was your day, dad?

Oh, uneventful.

Mr. demison read more

from Charlotte's web today...

is there a stronger

chemical I can use?

Something that works faster?

About the hut, Jeff...

let your brother talk!

Go ahead.

It's about a spider

that talks to a pig

named wilbur, who's going to

be slaughtered by a butcher.

Oh my, well, let

me think on that, Jeff.

Uh uh, let your

brother have the leg.

But he...

I like the dark meat.

There's

plenty of white meat.

Give the leg to your brother.

Ah, it looks delicious.

How about...

so uh... how was...

what, tennis Jeff?

Tennis ended a week ago.

But I have a chance to

be second in singles.

Next year.

Well, I don't

know, next year maybe

you should, you know,

take up a team sport.

The potatoes.

...Or join a club.

I'm bringing

the potatoes!

Well, I'm in

marching band at school.

I know, but

I just... new things

offer new opportunities

for friends.

And friends, yeah, are our

connection with this world.

Um, mom?

Chicken's red inside.

Oh, no it's not.

Yes, Joyce it is.

Yeah.

Well, you

don't like my cooking?

No, that's...

that's what's

going on here,

you don't like my cooking?

Well that's ok, new house rule.

We eat our mistakes.

Do you want a potato?

Sure.

That's what I thought.

Some people

appreciate my cooking.

Out of the way, dahmer.

Dumb ass.

Mr. John beckter.

You matched chloropods?

Yeah, we were just...

gather yourself.

Ms. bowles, come on.

Now.

Freaking bully.

Over there with Jeff.

Now.

Jeff, stay on the same slide,

give Mr. bekderf a look.

Hey.

I'm going away this summer

to a wilderness camp,

but in exchange my dad

said I can get tickets

to the Neil sedaka concert.

He's my favorite.

I know.

Wanna go?

Um, sure.

Hey kid, you're in my spot.

Move!

Over here.

Everyone!

Quiet.

Now I'm only talking to the

seniors, so the rest of you

just keep your traps shut.

As you know, I'm on the

prom planning committee,

and we've put our hearts

into the event which

is right around the corner.

- Hey, f*ggot.

- It's going to be...

stop that!

Big, let me go.

Voting for prom king...

voting for... uh...

ends this Friday!

It's going to be the best prom

ever, and just a reminder...

Frankie Jr. stop that!

...Paying for some

crony Joyce!

Shut up.

Next week you're

going to be into...

- pottery.

- Next week?

You don't even know what's

happening next week.

You know what next week is?

When I go back to work.

Oh yeah.

How are you

going back to work?

I'm going back to work.

Our boy is going to let

himself into the house.

David's eleven.

He is eleven and

that's just about time.

I'm telling you.

What, you know, the

girls are doing it.

They're all going back to work.

They're not even coming home

on the weekends sometimes.

All the girls

are doing that because...

what?

...They're

not less than a year

out of the mental hospital.

- That's mean.

- Joyce.

That's totally mean.

Are they going

to hit each other?

You're really

going to say that to me?

No.

They just argue.

Don't make

me say it Joyce.

- Make you say what?

- Just leave it alone.

Make you say what?

Joyce, it's

because a month ago

you saw a ufo flying

down the street

and you chased after it...

that sounds excellent.

The horns were pitch perfect.

You play like that at

our year-end recital,

and we're going to blow

scalps off the audience.

Once again from the top.

Three, four.

Hey, f*ggot!

There you are.

You've been avoiding us all day.

Hey Jeff.

Come to save the day, dumber?

Uh, no.

What, are you going

to defend this homo

with your trumpet case?

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