Mountain Men

Yeah, hi, Herschberger, what?

What?

Can I get like a half a quarter?

No! I'm at the fucking

doctor's office

with Leah right now, okay?

-I'm off duty.

-Well, she...

And call it a fucking eighth,

all right?

Like what the f*ck

is a half-quarter?

-It's a...

-F*ck off, man.

What do I look like,

the weed fairy to you?

I just fronted you last week.

You got cash?

On me? No.

No? Shocker.

F*ck. Get out of here.

Get away from the fucking car.

Get away from the car, man!

This is a place of healing!

Don't be such a fucking

lowlife, man,

hanging out in the parking lot

of a hospital.

Get a life!

F*ck you.

F*ck you!

I'm sorry.

That fucking creep.

He's like hanging out

in parking lots now.

Okay.

-What did he say?

-I am.

You are.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Did you, did you guys,

did you and the doctor

talk about, you know, options?

He just gave me a number

for a clinic in Kelowna.

Okay, I mean, you know,

hey, if that's your choice,

I'm with you 100%.

I support it, okay?

I'll take you

down to the clinic,

we'll go to Kelowna, okay?

Just, you know, not this weekend

because Cooper's coming...

-Holy shit.

-What?

Yes, I'm aware of that.

You won't shut up

about your fucking brother.

I'm excited. I never get

to see the guy, you know?

Does he even call you ever

or like email?

Call me?

We don't call each other.

We don't like

gossip on the phone

like a couple

of little girls.

He's my bro.

He's my kid brother, you know.

We'll just always be tight.

-Coop's coming?

-My God, Herschberger.

What the f*ck, man? I'm...

I'm having a personal

conversation with Leah.

Hey, Leah.

I hear he's doing real good

in the city.

Yeah, he is.

He's doing really good,

which means he's doing

the opposite of you,

you fucking idiot,

so please just f*ck off!

Okay, listen.

I... I hit the ATM.

You what?

I hit the ATM.

-Toph?

-How much you got?

-40?

All right.

You're such a fucking idiot.

You still owe me 40.

I'm not fucking around,

Herschberger.

F*ck you.

F*ck you. Thanks, bro.

All right, man.

Thank you.

-Hey, Mom.

-Hey.

Wow.

-Hey-o!

-You look beautiful.

Stop it.

It's not too poofy?

-No.

-No, no. More poof, in fact.

-No, not more.

-Premium poof package, please.

You look smoking-hot, Mom.

Thank you, thank you.

Toph.

I need you to go grab some paper

plates at the dollar store.

No. I'm picking up Coop

from the airport.

Well, grab 'em after.

I don't understand

why you don't have

real plates

at your wedding.

Excuse me.

Do you want to pay

for china plates?

No.

Then what is

the matter with you?

What, are you embarrassed

of paper plates now?

Mom, I'm not embarrassed

of paper plates.

They're just not

particularly fancy.

Well, guess what.

Neither is this family.

Coop is.

For heaven's sake.

Cooper thinks he's fancy.

Yeah, for good reason.

He lives in a fancy city.

He works at a fancy company.

He's got a fancy girlfriend.

Thanks.

That's pretty fancy,

if you ask me.

Yeah, and before that, he lived

in a different fancy city

and had a different fancy job

and a different fancy girlfriend

and different one before...

Makes him even fancier.

-You know what?

-Yes.

I'll get your paper plates

for your wedding.

But I just want to say,

Coop is out there doing

something with his life, okay?

He's living it.

Well, look at this,

you're on a bloody walkabout,

ya fucking ripper.

That's about right.

Let me get it, let me get it.

Come on, come on.

-All right.

-No I got it, I got it.

Have you been working out?

-How are you doing, man?

-I'm doing good.

My God, Cooper.

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