Moontrap: Target Earth

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- Mya!

- Holy crap.

- Who is she?

What is the history behind

this magnificent sculpture

recently unearthed on

the plains of Arizona

in the arid lands of

the navajo nation?

How old is she?

She, it, does not conform to any

known remnants of

navajo history.

And the tools needed

to construct her

suggest a civilization

previously unknown.

One that may have existed before

the dawn of known history.

And with your

generous commitment,

we will hopefully unlock

this beautiful enigma

and find out what

secrets she has hidden.

Are there any questions?

The young lady in the corner.

Miss Sharon Christine

Turner, I believe.

- Scout.

- Scout.

- Any plans for tonight,

professor Allen?

- I'm so glad you asked that.

- I'm glad you're glad.

- Because I have

very important plans.

- I'm very intrigued.

- As you should be, because

they are surprisingly devised

very cleverly with you

as the focal point.

- I am surprised and intrigued.

Please elaborate.

- They are to wine, dine

and just perhaps seduce.

- My most trusted colleague,

miss Sharon Christine Turner.

- Scout.

- Scout.

- I like, I like.

- Really?

Which part?

- The dine part.

This girl is starving.

- Yeah?

So, what do you think?

- Sushi.

- No, about our

little show and tell.

You think it'll

get them excited?

- Make 'em cough green?

- Yeah.

- No problem.

How could they refuse some

one so irrestibly lickable?

- I am truly irresistible.

- But you've got

to change that part

about hopefully

discovering the truth.

- How so?

- To we will discover the truth.

Be positive, young man.

- Ah, no can do, my gal.

You know us serious

academic types.

- Like you?

- Like me.

Can't make those

kinds of promises.

- Then what kind

can you promise me,

professor Daniel Allen?

- Oh, serious time now?

- Maybe.

- Ah, okay.

- I, Daniel Allen, promise to

scout that I will forever--

be saved by the bell.

- Only reprieved.

- Hey, Bryan.

- Danny.

- You calling me from your

big deal secret location?

- That I am, my man.

- And is this the call,

the holy sh*t one

you promised me?

- Ah, no, amigo, no.

This is the call

saying that holy sh*t's

not happening tonight.

- You know, I'm starting

to think that just maybe

you don't have that

world changing discovery

that's going to

finally put you on top.

- No, no, it's for real.

Okay, no stop to the top.

Don't you doubt that.

- Oh, I won't.

- Cool.

- Trust me, it's way bigger

than your mystery woman statue.

- So you say

- so I say.

But, um, there's been

a delay, all right?

It's outta my hands.

Sorry.

Okay?

- Yeah, but I'm still

starting to doubt you.

- It'll be worth the wait, pal.

I promise you.

- Oh, boy, oh, boy.

- Yeah, ah, you might want

to be watching CNN tonight.

- Really?

- Really.

- Okay.

Might.

Take care, Bryan.

Carter.

Calling from who-knows-where.

- Ooh, about who-knows-what?

- Yep.

- Still trying to outshine you?

- Yeah, maybe.

But now, we can directly proceed

to the wine, dine, and seduce.

- Oh, boy, oh, boy.

- It's the greatest

discovery since,

ah, man went to the moon.

Sh*t, sh*t, that sucks.

A**hole.

Okay, all right, something

better, something better.

Don't be a fool, be cool.

Hi.

- And a big hi right

back at you, Mr. Carter.

- Uh, sorry, I was

expecting someone else.

- I know.

The alphabet boys.

Abc, nbc, CNN.

- Oh, yeah, kinda.

- Oh, please don't

be embarrassed.

I completely understand.

But before you get your

15 minutes, I would, we,

were sent to make sure

that your incredible, uh--

- discovery.

- Discovery, thank you,

is what you say it is.

No offense, I hope.

- No, no, not at all,

none taken, none taken.

I'd probably do the

same if somebody told me

they had a, but it's for real.

- Oh, I certainly hope so.

- No doubt whatsoever.

As crazy and as whacked

out as it sounds,

I mean, this is the

genuine article, Mr.?

- Kontral.

But Richard, please.

And this is Nicole,

my facilitator.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- All right, Richard,

right this way.

Right this way to the

greatest discovery

since microwave popcorn.

Sh*t.

- That is wonderful.

- Alphabet time now, Richard?

So we had to, we had to cut

away about 2,000 tons of ore,

when they, I, I found it.

See, I at first thought

it was just a new strata,

but when I got closer and

saw what those taco boys

were digging up, I made

them clear out fast.

- Good for you, Bryan.

- Yeah, yeah, there's

no way I want them

chattering away about this.

- Nor would I.

- Look at it.

Doesn't it look brand new?

Like it could have

been made yesterday.

- It does indeed.

- There's not a scratch on it.

It's gotta be over

14,000 years old.

- Really?

14,000.

How on earth would

you know that?

- Well, age of

the ore around it.

That's when the

geog, um, geologists

think it collapsed on it.

And look, these hieroglyphics.

That's not any language

I've ever seen.

- That is incredible.

- You think that's incredible?

Wait 'til you hear the

most incredible part.

You know what i

think we got here?

- The suspense is

killing me, Bryan.

- This isn't some

old Indian piece of junk.

No.

What we've got here

is an alien spaceship.

An ancient alien spaceship.

I'm talking chariots of the

f***ing gods here, Richard!

And you know something, i

think it's still working.

Feel it.

Feel the power inside?

The sucker's alive.

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