Miss Nobody

Synopsis: Sarah Jane McKinney is a secretary for a big pharmaceutical company. Her aspirations are mostly for romance, she's waiting for her knight in shining armor. Looking for a sign of what to do, she applies for an executive position, even though it involves lying in her resume. When she thinks she lands the job, it turns out she's just the secretary for a new, young, handsome company transfer. She thinks he must be the man for her, but then she accidentally kills him. With one murder under her belt, she starts climbing the corporate ladder, but then her real knight in shining armor enters her life - in the form of a homicide detective.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Abram Cox
  2 wins.
92 min

Sarah jane:
For a long time,

I'd walk into work

convinced they all knew,

They saw right through me,

me and my innocent act,

Which never used

to be an act--

It's who I really was.

I would never

do anything bad, ever!

I always imagined myself

having a simple life--

Find a nice guy, settle down,

live happily ever after.

Who would've thought

Looking for love

would be so tricky?

But like mom always said,

"sarah jane, ambition will put

you in an early grave."

That's me,

sarah jane mckinney,

Administrative assistant

at judge pharmaceuticals.

( elevator bell dings )

Okay, I was a secretary,

Five years and counting.

I was good at my job,

And I even liked it

most of the time.

But you know what they say--

A job doesn't keep you

warm at night

Or make your heart

skip a beat.

I was beginning to wonder--

Had my life been jinxed

right from the start?

When I was a kid,

I was mom's little movie star,

Which explains why she did me

up just like audrey hepburn

For the st. George's

beauty pageant.

Well, that's mom.

I tried to make her happy,

and for good reason...


...My dad.

( plays discordant notes )


The divorce papers clearly state

that I got rights!

Now, where's

my goddamn daughter?

Shh! Shut up.

Get off me!


My mom believed in karma,

That we all got

what we deserved.

But me, I...

I leaned more towards

divine intervention,

My guardian angel.

( bell tolling )

St. George.

Dragon slayer,

patron saint of chivalry,

Knights, romance...

And justice.

( school bell rings )

but ever since then,

St. George

has watched out for me.

Take frankie sheftell.

I thought frankie was

everything a girl could want--



( grunts )

( whistle blows )

A serious hottie.

Oh, don't worry.

He survived.

He even asked me

to marry him

Over a milkshake

at the dairy joy.

Mom was heartbroken when

he ditched me at the altar,

But really st. George

had sent me

Another blessing

in disguise.

The blessing was

the salad girl from pizza hut,

And her name turned out

to be dick.

( weeping )

Was I unlucky in love?

You never really know.

I trusted my guardian angel.

St. George would guide me

to my knight in shining armor.

Please, please, please

grant me this wish.

Show me the right path,

And I promise

I will never let you down,

Never ever ever.


I swear it.

I faced life at judge

one day at a time...

With my bff,

charmaine abatemarco.

...Posted right there

on the board.

I says to myself,

"charmaine," I says...

That's so charmaine,

always with the big plans.

She had ambition.

I wish I had big plans.

You know what

I'm saying? Hey!


So I applied,

and I will not

be denied.

You should totally

apply, too.

I mean, I don't know

if you'll get it,

'cause I have

more experience,

But you should

definitely try.

Sarah jane:

That's right, lie.

If you want this gig,

you gotta get

A little loosey-goosey

with the facts.

I know, but a master's

in chemistry?

Look, judge pharmaceuticals

is a drug company, right?

Well, if you want to be

an executive,

Vast right-wing conspiracy,

you gotta smell like one.

Yeah, but, mom, it's just--

it's so wrong.

( laughing )

What if they check up?

That's the beauty of lying,

baby, the never do.

They're too busy

lying to themselves.

Come on, honey, look,

do you wanna be like me,

Or do you wanna

be like me?

( coughing )

Oh, mr.--

No, mom,

I got it.


your dentures again!

Mr. Ketchum!

Mr. Ketchum!

There you go.

Cough 'em up.

Cough 'em

right there.

That's our boarder,

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    "Miss Nobody" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/miss_nobody_13850>.

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