Mighty Aphrodite

Synopsis: Lenny and Amanda have an adopted son Max who turns out to be brilliant. Lenny becomes obsessed with finding Max's real parents because he believes that they too must be brilliant. When he finds that Linda Ash is Max' real mother, Lenny is disappointed. Linda is a prostitute and porn star. On top of that, she is quite possibly the dumbest person Lenny has ever met. Interwoven is a Greek chorus linking the story with the story of Oedipus.
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: Miramax Films
  Won 1 Oscar. Another 11 wins & 11 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
95 min

Woe unto man.

Brave Achilles,

slain in trial by blood...

for prize,

the bride of Menelaus.

And father of Antigone,

ruler of Thebes,

self-rendered sightless

by lust for expiation.

Lost victim

of bewildered desire.

Nor has Jason's wife

fared better.

Giving life only to reclaim it

in vengeful fury.

For to understand

the ways of the heart...

is to grasp as clearly the malice

or ineptitude of the gods,

who, in their vain and clumsy labors

to create a flawless surrogate,

have left mankind

but dazed and incomplete.

Take, for instance,

the case of Lenny Weinrib,

a tale as Greek and timeless

as fate itself.

- Lenny, let's have a baby.

- Hey!

A baby? Why? Because she's pregnant,

you want to have a baby?

- No. It's a great idea.

- You could raise your own middleweight.

- I don't want a middleweight.

- Flyweight.

- No, it'd be fun.

- Have you ever had children?

- No, I've never had children.

- Why not?

What do you mean, "why not?" 'Cause my

first wife didn't want to have a child.

- Then I never remarried really, so--

- Oh, that's great.

- What am I, chopped liver?

- Until now.

- Yeah?

- I never-- You didn't let me finish.

- No, you'd forgotten.

- Now you've changed your mind.

You didn't want to have a child.

- You should have kids.

- It's like stereo. Give him a break.

- You don't want a kid?

- Oh, we--

When we first met, she didn't like

the beach; she hated the Hamptons;

she didn't want to have kids;

she loved the Upper East Side,

she didn't want to move.

Now suddenly she's making noise about

having a kid and moving to Tribeca.

- Only if the gallery moves downtown.

- Well, being pregnant is great.

- Yeah?

- I love it. You get treated

like the Queen of England.

- Sure.

- You say that like it's a good thing.

- Well, I like the pampering.

- She does like it.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, it's fantastic.

I can't give up the time

right now.

There are too many exciting things

happening in my business.

- So let me ask you a question.

- What?

How do you plan to swing it without

being pregnant? I'm curious.

- Good question. Very good question.

- No, it's easy.

- We'll adopt. Oh, well.

- Mmm.

- Not me. I don't want to adopt.

- There you go.

- Why not? That's a good idea.

- No. No.

- You must be nuts. With, with my genes?

- Yeah?

- To adopt? I have award-winning genes.

- Oh, God.

- I want to pass them on.

- No, that's crazy. No, the--

It's for the same reason

we don't lease a car, okay?

- 'Cause it's pride of ownership.

- Okay.

- And I don't want to adopt a child.

- No. Look, I'm sorry, Lenny.

It's crazy 'cause the world

is full of needy kids.

- You know, she's right.

- That's true.

- I know, but that-- You know, but I--

- No, I mean it.

Why overpopulate the world when there

are thousands of parent-less kids?

Just because you don't want

to get morning sickness, right?

- No, it's not true.

- That's why you want to adopt a kid.

I just can't afford

to give up a year just now.

Forget it. Subject is closed.

I don't wanna--

I'd be afraid that

I might get a bad seed.

- Oh, you're paranoid.

- Oh, come on.

That's right! What-- You read that

in the tabloids all the time.

- No. A bad seed.

- That's right.

Yeah, we adopt some sweet little boy,

and then he turns 13,

we'd go to sleep at night,

he'd split our head open with an axe.

Listen, why'd you have to

go and tell him that? You know

Lenny's got a vivid imagination.

- It's a common occurrence.

- I read the same paper.

What do you want me to tell you?

Anyway, what do you mean "he"?

Why can't we adopt a girl?

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Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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