Matrimoni e altri disastri

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WEDDINGS AND OTHER DISASTERS

That's me, the one who's crying.

My name is Nana and I'm not

really crying, I'm overcome.

See those twwo at the altar ?

Of course you do.

My little sister, Beatrice,

and Alessandro.

..before God to ceIebrate

your union...

I'm what's euphemistically called

''a single woman''.

In other words, a spinster.

Anywway, I'm misty-eyed

because the kid I tutored in Latin

is getting married.

My sister, lucky her,

had plenty of men.:

tall, short, dark, blond,

rich, poor, Italian and foreign.

Younger, older...

All of them nuts about her !

I've only had twwo.

Both of the them were nuts,

but not about me.

The first was in high school.

We managed to make out

a few times and then it was over.

My other relationship was serious,

it lasted 10 years.

Then Paolo, the man in question,

told me he wanted

to change his life radically.

From that moment on,

my love life was put on hold.

But to explain

why I'm here right now,

we have to go back

a month or so.

MarceI, sweetie, I had a dream.

I'd better go write it down

or I'II forget.

The Iast time I made Iove

was 985 days ago.

F*** !

Good morning.

I'II heIp the Iady.

Good morning.

Good morning. I don't know

what's wrong, it's stone dead.

Tried pIugging it in ?

I'm not stupid !

Because Iast time...

- I'II caII you when it's ready.

- Okay, when wiII it be ready ?

Okay. Thanks.

- But caII me when it's ready.

- Okay. WiII you Ieave the bag ?

- Why ?

- To protect your Iaptop.

AII right. Thanks very much !

Goodbye.

Good morning !

On Fridays, I have a set

lunch date with my family.

For some reason,

my parent's home suffocates me.

That guy sleeping peacefully

is my father.

Hard to believe he terrorized

generations of students

who hated, loved,

feared and respected him.

But nobody loved

and hated him quite like me.

Dad !

- Has everyone Ieft aIready ?

- We haven't even eaten yet.

I was up Iate Iast night.

It's the Estates-GeneraI.

A revoIution !

That moron engaged to your sister

has convinced everyone that we need

to become big producers.

Watch out !

Never impIy that you went

to ask for something.

We're Iate, mom'II be Iivid.

Another thorn

in my drab life.: my mother.

The beautifuI Iady

at the head of the tabIe.

Yes, she's better looking, slimmer,

more elegant and relaxed than me.

She's perfect, she can do it all.

I suspect that her perfection

has ruined my life.

No, I'm certain of it.

She used to be an actress,

but now she's busy with our winery.

Bea, have you spoken to Bauer ?

Why ?

We've asked him

to do a reading at the winery.

For the Girondino 2003 Iaunch.

I introduced you to him.

I couId've asked him !

- What a drag !

- Me ?

No ! Bauer...

He made a big deaI out of it !

He's an award-winning writer !

You're Iucky he's coming !

We shouId've invited Wayne Newton.

- Wayne Newton ?

- He has fans...

- Not eating ?

- I'm not hungry.

- Don't you feeI weII ?

- I'm fine, thanks.

AIessandro and I

are caIIing off the wedding.

But you fixed a date !

What's going on ?

I'II be away for a month.

He can't organize everything

on his own, poor thing.

- No time to organize the wedding ?

- UnbeIievabIe, huh ?

So what ? Get married when you return,

if you stiII want to, right ?

That's fine, isn't it ?

I have to go to the States,

I have to finaIize the scheduIe

with the importers.

- By Jove, how serious !

- Not a Iaughing matter.

It is, they're caIIing off a wedding

because of a scheduIe...

ReaIIy ? Laugh then.

- Excuse her, she's very tired.

- Okay...

Beatrice canceIIed her wedding

and you're off to pIay cards ?

- You couId organize it !

- Me ? No.

Just hearing the word ''wedding''

makes me tense.

- I'd be hopeIess.

- No, you'd be perfect !

You've got pIenty of time.

- What do you mean ?

- Nothing, I just said...

That I don't do sh*t aII day Iong ?

The bookshop and the tutoriaIs

are just buIIshit, right ?

I don't earn much

so it's not reaI work.

- Excuse me.

- Where are you going, sweetie ?

To teII Bea I can't heIp her out.

Uncle Duccio is a bachelor.

He went to school with dad

and was mom's theatrical agent.

We call him uncle, but he's not.

Nobody knows about his interaction

with the opposite sex,

this secrecy has led to rumors

that he's homosexual.

I've alwways thought

he wasn't interested either way.

AIessandro's the best thing

in my Iife.

With aII that's going on,

I'm scared of Iosing him.

You won't Iose him, I'II heIp you !

- ReaIIy ?

- Yes.

- You'II handIe the wedding ? Thanks !

- Did I say that ?

Sorry, I wanted to taIk to you

but it can wait.

No, darIing !

I've got some great news.

- Nana's handIing the wedding !

- ReaIIy ?

I didn't actuaIIy offer...

We're getting married in a month !

- Great news !

- AII I need is the bridaI registry...

..the favors, the catering...

not much stuff.

I'm such an idiot !

You couId do it together.

What ? Me and him ?

It'II be faster. Right, honey ?

WeII, it sounds doabIe...

- Is it a probIem for you ?

- ProbIems are for soIving !

What a great idea I had !

Thanks, sweetie.

Let's teII mom, she

was reaIIy upset.

Oh dear,

what an idiot...

Hi mom, hi Nana.

Leo ! What are you doing here ?

You shouId be in schooI !

No, I'm not David CopperfieId !

There's a strike.

- What for ?

- Dunno. Fascists, trade unionists...

..Communists, teachers.

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