Man and a Baby



Concentrate, Pasanen. Concentrate.

Keep calm. Search. Search.

There! Colors and shapes.

Beans. Beanie beanie beans.

Vinegar, cream, sugar.

Where's the milk? Milk?

Bloody slipper!

I need to know the name of the

stuff that comes out of the tits.

For babies. What's

the trade name?

Mother's milk.

What do I buy? What's

the trademark?

Have a milkie. Have a tittie.

Have a babymoo. Have a sucky.

Have a babywhey. Have an oasis.

F*ck buckskin buckskin f*ck.

Goo-goo. Goody-goo.

Sorry but I need to talk to your wife.

We're the neighbors.

Why? - We live there.

For two months now.

We've met once, at

the garbage cans.

It was amiable. Like hi, hi.

Why do you need to talk to Anna?

Cause I have one of these. A baby.

- What?

- A baby.

You have a few yourselves.

I'm this one's daddy.


My wife had some complications.

Anesthesia. Surgery. Stitches.

I can't explain the details.

She'll be home soon. But

I left the bag behind.

- What?

- I left it there.

What? -A bag of breastmilk.

In the hospital.

We've only been

home a few hours.

We were going to the

shop but didn't.

What if I'll go to the supermarket?

The baby can stay here.

Were you at the delivery?

Didn't have time.

Too busy at work? - just

didn't have the time.

Pia forgot to tell me.

That she's giving birth?

- Yep.

- Okay.

For the record, a newborn never

goes home without the mother.

- No?

- No.

Not even under exceptional



Welcome home-sign, check.

Vacuuming, check.

Dusting, check.

Mobile, check. Breastfeeding

pillow, check. Baby alarm.

Do you copy? Copy.

Cot. Pushchair.

Sausages and chockies, in the

same bowl, yuck, check. Yummy.

Hospital bag, Pia's bag.

Check. Check.

Aw! Check.

Howdy, daddy here, to

take you home. Hi.

- Where's the boy?

- What?

- Where's the boy?

- Not here.

You get the hell out of here.


The stress relief -

and the burden of having

a baby make her afraid.

New mothers can be

irritated, restless.

But soon they sense

the baby's needs -

and grow to motherhood.

Never lose your humor

in the childbed.

Later, you'll laugh at

all this, together.

I'll give you three pieces of

advice and they are crucial. First:

make him burp.

make him burp.

make him burp.

- Roger that.

Come here. Let's see the safety

seat daddy has brought here.

Where the f*ck is our car?

At the parking lot.

Can't park here.

I'll get it. just

keep an eye on these.

Daddy will get the car.

We drive dada's car.

Like this!

I can't f*cking do this.

Do what?

This whole f*cking deal.

The car's right there.

Pia! What the hell?



Are you going to be OK?

We're not buying anything. We're

not believers. Thanks. Bye.

Hold on. This is

an agreed visit.

The deals made by my wife

don't apply with me.

I'm Ulla. From the child health centre.

Didn't Pia mention this?

You must be Antti.

We've never met.

You never came to the

prenatal clinic.

Do you want me to join you?


- To the prenatal clinic.

- What?

OK, I'm on my way. Close

the door, I'm cold.

Work. A lot of work.

Almost four kilos. Any

problems with breastfeeding?

How come?

Artificial milk everywhere.

I'm out of tit milk. This

is the artificial stuff.

The tits have gone jogging.

The tits go where Pia goes.

When is she coming back?

Oh, she can run for hours.

So soon after labour? She never

told me she's an athlete.

When did she leave?

Right away.

Come back!

Just before you came by.

I have to go now. I have

two more house calls.

Too bad she wasn't around.

Things are under control here.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)


The writer of this screenplay is unknown. more…

All Unknown scripts | Unknown Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this Man and a Baby script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"Man and a Baby" STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Oct. 2019. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.