Magic in the Water

Synopsis: Radio psychologist Jack Black takes his children Joshua and Ashley on a 'vacation' to a lake in British Columbia. While he grinds away at work the children discover that the famous local lake monster "Orky" may not be just a gimmick to attract tourists after all. In fact, Orky may enable them to get closer to their workaholic dad, and help stop local polluters who are dumping toxic waste into Orky's home.
Director(s): Rick Stevenson
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
  2 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
21%
PG
Year:
1995
101 min
49 Views


Kiro Newsradio 710

Welcome back to The Jack Black Show.

I'm Jack Black.

Before the break,

we were talking to Maggie from Magnolia.

So, let me get this straight, Maggie.

From an evolutionary point of view...

men have basically outserved their function

as hunter/providers...

and according to you,

testosterone is going to destroy the world?

Look, all I'm saying is...

after five marriages, I think I know

something about men, you know?

Ditz.

I mean, there is a difference

between men and women.

So you're saying...

What I'm saying is

that even when we're kids...

girls are nurturers,

boys are aggressors, that's all.

Girls want to play with dolls,

and boys want to play with...

- Themselves?

- ... A go n A s A.

Men are what's wrong with the world.

Well, ma'am, speaking as Jack Black,

your radio therapist...

I have just two words of advice:

- Stop whining!

- Stop whining!

- Next caller.

- Next caller.

I don't know how you can even call yourself

a therapist...

when you don't believe people should talk...

about their problems.

Isn't modern therapy...

Hey, modern therapy is the problem.

People wallowing in their own

pathetic guilt at $100 an hour...

instead of just getting on with it.

If more people listened to me,

fewer people would listen to me.

But the work I've done on my inner child...

has really helped...

Sir, I've two words of advice

for your inner child:

Grow up!

Next caller.

Yeah, hi.

Go ahead, caller.

I need you to help me,

to explain someone to me.

Ashley, do you know what time it is?

Go ahead, Bubba from Richmond Beach.

DAD:

Yeah, I just wanted to call and say

that your show really offends me.

Where you calling from?

I'm at home.

Has someone got a gun to your head?

I've been doing it for three years.

Three words of advice, my friend:

- Get a life!

- Get a life!

- Next caller.

- Hi.

Hello, Rochelle from Rhode Island...

Ashley, honey.

You wanna give me a hand

with the groceries?

And please don't listen to that garbage.

But it's Daddy's show.

I know.

Joshua, when I said

grab a bag out of the car...

I meant something a bit bigger.

Rachel, Gwendolyn, Consuelo,

whatever you want to call yourself...

Okay, guys, let's go.

Your father's gonna be here any minute.

I just have two words of advice for you:

- Stop whining!

- Stop whining!

Next caller.

Don't worry. He'll be here.

Dad!

- Hi, Joshua.

- Dad.

You guys ready to cruise?

What's with this research stuff?

They've been really looking forward to this.

They haven't spent any quality time

with you since last summer.

- It's not gonna be a problem. I promise.

- Right.

Come here. I love you guys.

You have a good time, okay? Come here.

"Interstate five."

"Exit 176."

"Exit 177."

U.S.-CANADA CUSTOMS - 5 Miles

How long is this ride, Dad?

Just a second, Josh. Yeah, Albert.

You have my numbers, right?

You can reach me on my cell,

or if that's busy, fax me in the car.

"Exit 301."

"Watch for falling rock."

"Welcome to Glenorky, home of Orky."

GLENORKY - ORKY It's about time.

Dad, who's Orky?

I know it is only four weeks,

Albert, but I will get it done.

You have my word.

Dad?

Honey, can you get that, please?

It's somewhere in the back.

They can give you brain cancer, you know.

Well, you can call me then.

He has my numbers, right?

Major roadkill.

Dad, I got a close-up using the image...

Two words of advice AI: Re-lax.

Did you say something, honey?

I just wanted to know who Orky was.

He's a stupid tourist attraction,

like the Loch Ness monster, O Vacant One.

Am I the only one who hears that?

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Rick Stevenson

Rick Stevenson is a writer, director, and producer from Seattle, Washington. Some of Stevenson's films include: Privileged (1983) starring Hugh Grant, Restless Natives (1985) starring Ned Beatty, Promised Land (1987) starring Meg Ryan and Kiefer Sutherland, Some Girls (1989) starring Patrick Dempsey, Jennifer Connelly and Andre Gregory, and Crooked Smiles starring Jennifer Jason-Leigh, Noah Wylie, Juliette Lewis and Peter Coyote. In 2006, his film Expiration Date won both Audience and Jury Award for Best Film at the Omaha Film Festival and took Best Film honors at the American Indian Film Festival. Stevenson has directed many programs for television, including ED for NBC, and his work as a director of television commercials has garnered a myriad of awards. In 2001, Stevenson founded a documentary series called The 5000 Days Project. This project is now called The School of Life Project and spans 15 countries. In 2004, Stevenson founded TheFilmSchool with Tom Skerritt and Stewart Stern. more…

All Rick Stevenson scripts | Rick Stevenson Scripts

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