- 98 min
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- Sorry! Sorry I'm late. Hi!
- I did not know that about Erica.
- Hi, Max! Hi.
You have one little corner
of baby smell left right there.
- Hi, how are you?
- I need a baby!
- You need a baby?
You're such an impatient little fussbudget.
I just don't see why I should wait.
Uh, for a father, perhaps?
Let's face it.
I've never been in a serious relationship
that's lasted longer than six months.
We were together for two years.
In college. And we made each other
miserable the rest of the time.
- Here you go.
I admit it, we were miserable,
- but we were also happy.
Well, just so you know,
I have some sperm in a facility uptown,
if you're in a pinch.
want any more kids.
Felicia does not want any more kids.
I froze it in case I met someone nice.
No, you didn't.
But I might.
You know, save it like mad money style.
So do you remember
Guy Childers from college?
Wait, wasn't he the guy, he now...
What, he's a pickle salesman, right?
No, he's a pickle entrepreneur.
And he agreed to make a donation,
so that I could inseminate myself.
- But he has no sense of personal space.
- So what? He was a math major.
I'm just borrowing his genes.
But not his personality, I hope.
Well, everybody's got something
You think everybody's honest
who fills out those questionnaires
at the sperm bank donation thing?
I can't believe you've been cooking this up
and you didn't even tell me.
- Because I knew that you'd yell at me.
- I'm not yelling at you...
Isn't this something that women do
who are, like, 49 and desperate?
I don't want it to be a last resort.
I want it to be a choice
because I'm ready to be a mother,
and I don't believe that I'll find someone
that I can stay in love with
or who can stay in love with me
for longer than six months.
I'm just facing the truth about myself.
So when's the insemination?
Are we gonna have a party?
In four months.
Hey, does my breath smell?
No. Does mine?
I started production in my apartment
three years ago.
Now, I have 12 employees.
And I just got an order from Whole Foods.
So if that works out, we're taking off.
But I'm still very hands-on.
- Every pickle has my stamp of approval on it.
Here, try this one.
I love this.
That's a Bavarian. It's classic.
This is the best pickle I've ever had.
- Oh, you skate?
- Yeah. Every Sunday.
I grew up on the ice.
- Oh, right. You were on the ice hockey team.
I used to ice-skate a
lot when I was little.
- So regarding our plan.
- Here is my bill of health.
Oh, I have for you...
You need to keep it warm when you...
So just put it next to your body,
underneath your shirt,
- and you can come right over.
So when do you want to do this?
- I just want to build up some more savings.
- Please. That's smart.
I already have health insurance
So I guess the question is, um,
how much involvement do you want to have?
but, um, I'm open to negotiation.
None is so cool.
I mean, that kind of takes
the pressure off, right? Doesn't it, huh?
- I can just relax and build my empire.
Oh, my gosh.
Hi, Beverly. I got two checks this month.
Not that I'm complaining.
they're not for two different payments?
Well, I'd love to think that,
but they have the same date on themRate this script:0.0 / 0 votes
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"Maggie's Plan" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 31 Mar. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/maggie's_plan_13158>.
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