Lucy Must Be Traded, Charlie Brown

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Why are you standing

up there, Charlie Brown?

Memories, Linus.

My pitcher's mound may

be covered with snow,

but the memories

are still there.

Happy times, huh?

Some of my

happiest memories.

But what about

all the games we lost?

lt was the fault

of my right fielder.

lt was always my right fielder.

Are we

going to have

a baseball team

again this year?

Yes, but we weren't

going to tell you.

We were all hoping that

you wouldn't find out,

because we all know

that you're the worst player

in the history of the game.

Put me down

for right field.

Well, how does

our ball field look

this year,

Charlie Brown?

l think our groundskeeper

is doing a good job.

The infield

looks great,

and the grass

in the outfield has

never looked better.

l think it's because

we have a new

automatic sprinkler system.

My pitcher's mound looks great.

And our new scoreboard

will keep track

of the games we win this year.

Then all we have

to worry about

is the sound system.

The sound system?

This year, let's try

to get the ball over the plate,

you blockhead!

The sound system

is still working.

l think our team

is in trouble

this year, Charlie Brown.

We're weak

at every position.

Except for right field.

She's exceptionally cute.

Our right fielder

is completely hopeless.

But cute.

l need your

advice, manager.

Since this is our

first day of practice,

what do you think

l should do

with all the money

l'll be getting

for playing ball

this year?

We don't get any money

for playing baseball.

We don't?

Nope. We don't

get a thing.

Well, one

of our players

gets a little something.

Okay, Lucy, stand way back there

by those bushes.

l'm going to hit you a fly ball.

Try to get it back

as fast as you can.

Catch it, Lucy!

Catch it!

lt's in here someplace.

lt's not very easy

playing right field.

Okay, everybody, listen up.

This season, we're going

to emphasize speed.

We're going to have

a real running team this year.

We're going to steal bases

and steal more bases.

We're going to run, run, run!

We're going to be the runningest

team in the league.

lt's going to be go, go, go!

lt's going to...

l can't stand it.

All right.

Let's not have any

of that fancy one-handed stuff.

The only way to

play baseball right

is to use two hands.

And a good set of teeth.

Hey, manager!

lt's too windy

to practice today.

Don't be ridiculous.

Just because your cap blows off,

it doesn't mean it's windy.

Now, that's windy.

Remember, if a fly ball

comes your way,

don't forget to allow

for the wind.

l'm working on it.

Hey, garbage head,

strike this guy out!

You're not supposed

to insult your own pitcher.

Why can't you yell

something encouraging?

Come on, Charlie Brown!

You can do it!

You can do it!

No, he can't.

Come on,

Charlie Brown.

The game is starting.

You're supposed

to be pitching.

l can't pitch knowing

Lucy is in right field.

She's out there, just waiting

to do something stupid.

She drives me crazy.

l'll get you

a drink of water.

l know she's out there.

l can't look.

She's out there, isn't she?

Here, Charlie Brown.

A drink of water

will calm your nerves.

Thank you.

lt's just what l need.

See? l'm hardly shaking.

l'm pretending Lucy

isn't even around.

Okay, let's get

this show on the road.

Our first game is Monday,

and l can't sleep.

l'm a nervous wreck.

l can't sleep.

l keep thinking about all

the errors l'm liable to make.

l'm no catcher.

l'm a piano player.

lt's 2:
00, and l'm still awake.

l wonder if any of the others

on the team

are having trouble sleeping.

Good grief!

lt's morning already,

and this is the day

of our first game.

l'm no manager.

l can't run a baseball team.

Everybody knows

l'm a lousy manager.

Nobody even pays attention

to me.

They all hate me.

l think l'll just stay in bed.

Maybe it'll rain.

Maybe no one else

will show up either.

l'll just stay in bed,

and l'll...

Okay, manager,

rise and shine!

Why do we have to

play the first game

so far from home?

That's the schedule.

The only time

l hate being the catcher

is when we go on the road.

l wonder if we're

going the right way.

How much further,

Charlie Brown?

Only about two

or three more blocks.

l hate being

the visiting team.

They're here, sir.

Hiya, Chuck.

Welcome to our neighborhood.

We appreciate you coming

over here with your team

for the first game

of the season.

Thank you.

Why don't you guys

take the field

for a little warm-up?

Then we'll

start the game.

Okay. l'll hit

them a few flies.

Good grief, Lucy!

You're going to have

to do better than that.

What did you expect?

l'm suffering from jet lag.

Oh, no, you don't.

You get fed after the game,

not before.

l hate these salary disputes.

Good grief!

May l ask you how you

intend to play shortstop

with a supper dish

in your mouth?

l should never ask.

Have you seen

our baseball schedule

for this year?

My team plays

your team 12 times.

We slaughter you twice

in April,

smash you three times

in May,

and ruin you once

in June.

We murder you twice

in July,

annihilate you three times

in August,

and pound you once

in September.

lt's a great schedule,

huh, Chuck?

Yeah. Just beautiful.

Hmm.

Something is missing.

You know that, Chuck?

This is our first

game of the season,

and we don't have any

opening-day ceremonies.

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