Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N.

Right face!

Ten hut!

"Dearest sweet,

thoughtful,

understanding Jane.

I know you won't believe this,

sweetheart,

but here it goes anyway.

You may recall,

you and I were to be married

a year ago last June.

As I didn't turn up

for the wedding,

and so much time has gone by,

I can imagine you have been wondering...

...ha-ha...

...what happened.

It all began one day

during a routine mission

in the far Pacific. "

Matlock 1-7 to Wingding.

I have an angel 1-6.

Request new coordinates

for position fix.

Indicating

3-4-0,

heading

2-7-2.

Fire warning light on.

Fire warning light on?

Smoke and fire from starboard side!

Estimated position, 300

miles west of Port Moresby.

Mayday! Mayday! Ejecting, out.

Oh!

Whoa!

Survival kit. Ah, boy.

Survival at Sea and Like It!

Oh, boy.

Down at Sea.

All right, mister, let's

take stock of the situation.

First thing to remember

is relax. Don't panic.

Try to achieve a cheerful,

constructive frame of mind at all times.

Now let's check out the supplies

in your waterproof survival kit.

- Here we go. Water flask.

- Yeah.

Right.

Fish hooks.

Ow!

Nylon cord.

Affirmative.

Compass.

Yeah.

Chamois cloth.

All right.

Dye markers, signaling

mirror, mercury flashlight...

- No, hold it, hold it, hold it.

- Oh.

- Okay.

- Flares.

Whistle. Sun visor.

- Bailing sponge.

- Roger.

Solar still for making drinking water.

Sunburn ointment. Fabric patching kit.

Air pump. Kitchen matches.

Hold it. Hold it.

I don't see any air pump.

Concerning air pump, see

asterisk at bottom of page.

Asterisk. Air pump, discontinuation of.

Due to inefficient

performance of air pump in kit,

they are no longer in use.

Use your lungs.

Okay, how about some food?

Each kit holds six tins of

concentrated food tablets,

each unit roughly the

nutritional equivalent of...

- ... a Thanksgiving turkey dinner.

- Hmm.

First, however, a word of warning.

Take no more than one tablet of each...

Or they'll hang in your

chest like a lead balloon.

...or they may cause

some internal distress.

H, H, H, H.

That's great. Nothing

listed for hiccups.

What can I take?

Put a shopping bag on

your head. That's no good.

No... No shopping bag.

What else?

Frighten yourself. All right.

Look out! There's an

octopus in the boat!

There's another one.

What else? Stand on your

head and hold your breath.

Okay, I'll stand on my head

in the middle of the ocean.

I don't think this is gonna... work.

A sail! A sail!

Hey, sail! Ahoy!

Over here, sail!

Looks like a Chinese

junk. Hey! Here! American!

Hey! Hurry up! Chop-chop!

Oh, nice Chinese sailor

make American boy very happy.

Hey! Hey, over here, sailboat!

You're not a sailboat!

You're a shark. You're a shark!

Hey! No, go back! Go back!

No! Get out of here! Whoa!

Sharks are all cowards at heart.

Chances are, a well-placed blow on

the sensitive area around his nose

will send him packing.

A blow on the nose?

You gotta be kidding.

A well-placed blow on the nose.

Okay. Come and get

your well-placed blow.

Ah!

Oh!

This isn't in the manual,

but come and get it.

Well-placed blow on the nose, huh?

Put that in your manual next time.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

And that, dear Jane,

is how I discovered a new

way to get rid of the hiccups.

The final leak was patched,

and after a certain amount

of twisting and turning,

I managed to fall asleep.

Everything might have been all right

if it wasn't for my old problem,

sleepwalking.

You come back, you get more of the same!

Now I was in real trouble.

Everything, food, water,

everything I needed to

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