Lovelace

---

2

Ladies and gentlemen,

the moment we've all been waiting for,

the one, the only Linda Lovelace!

- What's your name?

- Linda Lovelace.

- I meant what's your real name?

- That's my real name.

So what did you do

before you were the first

ever pornographic film superstar?

How does it feel to be the poster girl

for the sexual revolution?

The pornographic film,

Deep Throat,

has become one of the most popular

and profitable blue movies of all time.

Today a Manhattan criminal court

judge ruled the film obscene

and ordered it removed from

theaters in New York City.

This is kind of a strange country,

isn't it?

Judges can see Deep Throat,

but they can't listen to those tapes.

Deep Throat, a trendsetting film

that brought pornography

into popular culture.

How did you become Linda

Lovelace in the first place,

if you were born

as Linda Boreman?

I think you can be a star,

and I don't mean just

an adult movie star.

I mean a real star.

ls your name Linda Lovelace?

So tell me...

who's the real Linda Lovelace?

- No! Patsy! Come on.

- Jeez! Come on, Miss Holy Holy.

- You want to get tan lines?

- Mm.

You're gonna thank me later.

So have you slept with that guy yet?

- No. Patsy, come on.

- Don't be such a prude.

- You're 21 years old.

- Prude?

How am I a prude?

I think I've learned

my lesson that one time,

thank you very much.

There are other things

that you can do.

Ugh, I don't even know how

to talk to you anymore.

Seriously, that's disgusting.

That's disgusting.

- Linda!

- Sh*t, is that your mom?

I thought you said she was work.

- Linda?

- Take this, please.

- Yeah.

- Put it out.

Linda, are you out back?

Honestly, what is this, a nudist colony?

- What are you wearing?

- Ma!

Get in the house.

OK? 'Cause everybody's going fast.

- Ready?

- Ready.

- Careful.

- All I can see is your butt.

Oh, my God!

Cool band.

They're missing something,

though, don't you think?

- Like what?

- Go-go dancers.

You volunteering?

Come on, babe. Move your hips!

Whoo!

Feel it!

- I actually, like...

- Do that again.

- No, I don't think so.

- You enjoyed it.

I need, like, a week off.

You two move

pretty good up there.

Thanks.

You ever think about

doing that professionally?

- Yeah, right.

- Yeah!

Dancing girls in Vegas, they make

two or three hundred bucks a night.

What? Ha, someone would pay

that much to see me dance?

I would.

I'm Chuck Traynor, by the way.

- I'm Patsy.

- Linda.

- You guys smoke grass?

- Yeah, sure.

Patsy, I have to go home now.

It's a little bit of grass.

Come on, babe.

OK.

I'm good.

In accordance with your hopes,

mindful of your concerns,

sustained by your prayers,

- thank you, and good night.

- Thanks, honey.

President Nixon addressing

the nation live from...

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

See you later. I'm going.

Linda!

Where do you think you're going?

The beach.

It's dark.

And what on Earth do you have on?

- It's a party.

- And whose party is it?

Uh, I'm going with Patsy and her

boyfriend Ray. It's a friend of his.

- And what does this Ray do?

- I don't know, Ma.

It's not like I made him

fill out a questionnaire.

Mm-mm.

I think Patsy said he was

a bartender, all right?

But I did tell them that I had

to be home by 11:00 on the nose.

Any later, and I'll call you.

Swear to God.

See you, sweetheart.

The French Connection.

You know that one?

- The one with that guy?

- Exactly.

My God, I was so stoned

when I saw that.

I couldn't figure out

what was going on.

I kept expecting there

- Yeah, there weren't.

- No, I know.

They were speaking American.

No, but by the time I figured that out,

it was, like, halfway through the movie.

Hey, guys.

Let's go skinny-dipping.

No! I have to go, so...

- What?

- Yeah.

You're such a drag.

We're gonna go.

- Come on. I'm going in!

- " Jump in!

- You don't dig the ocean?

- No.

I don't know.

- Ow.

- What?

- You bit me.

- I did?

- Yeah.

- No, I didn't.

It's cool.

You don't think I'm a drag?

I don't think you're a drag at all.

- No?

- No way.

Thanks for the ride home.

Wait, wait, wait... Come on!

Come on!

You haven't said a word

since we got in the car.

You can tell me.

What is it? What's going on?

OK.

- I got pregnant.

- Mm.

And I had a baby last year.

And that's why we

moved here from Yonkers.

Where's this...

Where's this baby now?

I don't even know.

My mom put him up for adoption.

She told me I was signing

circumcision papers.

- Damn.

- Yeah.

I'd like to meet your folks.

- Really?

- I think they'd dig me.

No, they don't dig anybody.

They don't even dig themselves.

Listen, I'll make you a bet.

You have me over for dinner,

and by the end of the night,

if they say,

"What a lovely young man,"

- then I win.

- What do you win?

You spend the night at my house.

And if they don't, what do I win?

You spend the night at my house.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hm.

OK. Right there.

Lord, make us thankful for these

and all our many blessings. Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

Chuck, I'd like to thank you again

- for those lovely flowers.

- My pleasure.

Linda tells us that

you were in the service.

Yes, ma'am, Marine Corps.

Mr. Boreman was in World War II.

Oh, yeah? You in the Corps?

- No, Army. Italy, mostly.

- I was stationed in Korea.

I won a couple

of marksmanship competitions,

but that's about all

the action I ever saw.

I bet you would have

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes