Love and a .45

Any similarities

to real people or events

is purely coincidental.

The Crime Channel.

All crime all the time.

Excuse me, son.

Where do you keep the anti-acids?

That aisle, right-hand side.

Third shelf from the bottom.

That'll be $3.72.

Aren't you a little young

to be working the night shift...

...hombre?

I lied about my age.

How old are you, son?

Fourteen.

Shouldn't you be doin'

your homework

for school or something?

Don't go.

Just sittin' around reading

"Girls and Guns"

and smokin' marijuana in the

walk-in freezer,

and dreaming about p*ssy, huh?

How'd you know?

Been there.

Sometimes I watch TV.

Oh, yeah?

What do you watch?

Them reality kind of shows.

Like, people get killed

and stuff.

Tell me, son...

you plannin' on selling

cigarettes for the rest of your life?

I haven't really thought

about it.

I guess you might have noticed

that 45 laying on the counter.

Yeah. I was kinda wondering

about that.

Think you can grab it...

faster than me?

Yeah.

Well...

That's pretty damn good,

small fry.

I want you to give me all that

money out of the cash register.

Well...

what about my gun?

It ain't loaded.

Well...

Yeah, that's right.

After you put the money

in that smiley face bag...

hand me that night drop, too.

We ain't got no night drop.

You must think I'm a lot

stupider than I look, hombre...

'cause I know that night drop

turns over at exactly 1:35 a.m.

If you're thinking that armored

car's gonna be pulling up soon,

and you might be privy

to a hellacious gun fight

where yours truly just might

buy the proverbial farm...

you're dead wrong.

'Cause right about now,

the driver of the said vehicle

will be pulling over

to the side of the road

to help a beautiful young lady,

in roadway distress.

Hi.

My goodness, mister,

I'm so glad you stopped.

I was starting to get a little

scared being out here all alone.

With hardly anything on

to protect me from the elements.

- Uh-huh.

- Ohh, wow!

Wow!

Look at all those tools.

I bet you have yourself

a ripe 'ol time.

Handcuffs...

I just love handcuffs.

- Really?

- Um-hmm.

Hey, can I play with them?

Come on.

Just for a little while.

It might be fun,

don't you think?

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, thanks.

Wow!

Boy, that's some mighty

hard steel, isn't it?

Mmm-mmm.

Oh, it's so...

Wow. Look at you.

Such a big, big strong man.

Oh, baby.

Come to daddy!

- Oh, baby.

- My cuffs... anything you want.

My goodness, aren't you a live one.

Gee wiz...

You know what?

Baby, I just don't think

I know you well enough

to be sharing your saliva.

Whoo!

So, he'll be unzipping

his pants...

and wanking his hooter

right about now,

and have a right fine story

to tell the boys at the bar...

and I won't be having

no trouble with the police.

Right on time.

That sound's pure music

to my ears.

Gosh, mister...

you sure know your

convenience stores.

It's my business to know

convenience stores.

- Yes.

- Okay, squirt...

fill up the rest of that smiley

bag and I'll be on my way.

Hey uh...

how much money you figure's

in this here bag?

Uh, right about

five-hundred dollars.

What's this?

Ten percent of the gross.

Don't spend it all on dope.

Thanks.

Hey, man...

you forgot your gun.

It's yours, kid.

Get your ass out of the rat race.

That's right, son...

you got yourself a real

occupation.

Man, why are you giving me

this gun?

Well, when I was your age...

someone did the same for me.

I was a lot like you, and...

he was a lot like me.

Just returnin' the favor.

I got two pieces of advice

for you, small fry...

never believe a word

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