
Love, Simon
(4.25 / 4 votes)1
(indistinct conversations)
(The "Oogum Boogum"
song playing)
SIMON:
I'm just like you.For the most part,
my life is totally normal.
- Happy birthday.
- No!
SIMON:
My dad was the annoyinglyhandsome quarterback
who married
the hot valedictorian.
And, no, they didn't peak
in high school.
- (car door closes)
- (horn honks)
I have a sister
I actually like.
Not that I'd ever
tell her that.
And last year,
and 200 episodes
of Chopped ago...
she decided
she wanted to be a chef.
all her test subjects now.
Cute mini skirt
With your brother's
sloppy shirt
I admit it girl,
That I can dig it
EMILY:
Is it spicy, Jack?- (spits)
- Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh.
SIMON:
And thenthere's my friends.
Two of them, I've known
since pretty much
the beginning of time.
- Or at least kindergarten.
- No. No.
- LEAH:
Oh! Sorry!- Okay. How 'bout that?
(crowd cheering)
One of them,
I just met a few months ago,
but it feels
like I've known her forever.
We do everything friends do.
We drink way too much
iced coffee,
watch bad '90s movies
and hang out at Waffle House
dreaming of college
and gorging on carbs.
(cheering continues)
You got me doin' funny things
Like a clown
Just look at me
When you wear
Your bell-bottom pants...
SIMON:
So, like I said.I'm just like you.
I have a totally,
perfectly normal life.
Except I have
one huge-ass secret.
Now go on
With your bad self
Ooh, ooh, now mercy,
Mercy on me
- (knocking on door)
- Hey! Morning! Oh!
- Hey!
- Sorry.
I didn't realize
you were masturbating.
Yeah, very funny.
Your sister's downstairs
making some
la-di-da pancake thing
she saw on Top Chef,
so we should
probably go eat that.
Great. I'll be down
in just a second.
searching the internet for...
lingerie photos of Gigi Habib?
(scoffs)
It's Hadid.
Right. I didn't realize
she was your girlfriend.
All right, finish up here.
You got me.
(indistinct chatter)
- Morning, guys.
- Simon, have a seat, honey.
- Morning, Simon.
- You gotta eat your breakfast.
Please don't tell me
that breakfast is the most
important meal of the day
because that is just so clich.
You're better than that.
I was gonna say breakfast
lowers LDL cholesterol
and prevents
fluctuating glucose levels
- that lead to type two diabetes.
- Oh!
Touch.
Nora. These are incredible.
Cornmeal pancakes
with blackberry compote.
But they're not crumbly enough.
Stop it. They're perfect.
(Nora sighs)
Eat up, Bieber.
- See you, guys.
- JACK:
See you, Simon.EMILY:
Hey, honey. Be backby seven! It's TV night.
(leaf blower whirs)
Hey!
Morning!
It's Simon! I live right here!
I like your boots!
Okay, bye!
- (sighs)
- (horn honks)
God damn.
("Rollercoaster" playing)
It was summer
When I saw your face
Looked like a teenage
Runaway...
- Yo!
- Yo!
Had the craziest dream
last night.
Hey, Nick, you have the
NICK:
You don't understand.I'm in this cave, right?
David Beckham is there
and then like, blue one or
red one, like he's a sexy
Morpheus from Matrix.
And I don't know
which one to pick.
I don't know what to do
with these things.
Oh, my God. Have you guys seen
Creek Secrets today?
First of all, you are obsessed
with that blog, so...
LEAH:
Okay, but apparently,Becca Peterson
got caught giving
Ryan O'Donovan,
an HJ in the pool.
That's the real reason
they drained it.
Man, our janitor needs a raise.
LEAH:
Oh, my God.
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Citation
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"Love, Simon" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 11 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/love,_simon_12979>.