Lost Boys: The Thirst

As soon as you feed, Senator,

you won't need these anymore.

Holy sh*t!

It's the attack of Grandpa Munster!

Gross.

Damn it.

Sorry to ruin your party, Senator.

Don't worry,

we'll have you out of here in two minutes.

- Thank you.

- Edgar! Aah!

Alan? Alan!

Alan!

Alan.

Alan. Alan, are you okay?

No. No, Alan, no. No, Alan!

Alan!

I am a vampire.

Oh, yeah?

Well, abracadabra. I'm an umpire.

Hocus pocus.

Mr. Frog?

Yeah?

Were you sleeping?

I work nights.

- Apparently not hard enough.

- Hmm.

You're in default on your loans...

...and the bank is repossessing

this property.

This would include any...

...structure currently

on the property as well.

- Are you serious?

- You have one week to vacate.

Have a good day.

F***ing vampires.

- Cash or store credit?

- Cash.

Comes to 65 even.

Sixty-five dollars?

Are you kidding me? I mean, this issue

of Destroy All Vampires number 125...

...in nearly mint condition

is worth 50 bucks alone.

In near-mint condition.

I know near-mint condition

and that ain't it.

What are you talking about?

I haven't even opened this book.

It's been boarded and bagged

since the day I got it.

Well, let's have a look.

There are stress marks

at the staple points.

The, uh, cover has lost at least 15 percent

of its gloss...

...the pages are yellow...

...and there's significant

rubbing and fading at the corners.

Hmm.

Now, if you were willing to part

with that Batman number 14...

...I, uh, might be able

to do a little bit better.

That's not gonna happen.

Happens to have

some sentimental value to it.

That's my offer, Frog.

Take it or leave it.

All right, pay me.

Have a nice day.

I hate happy people.

- Hmm.

- Hey, Edgar.

Did you make any money off of Frank?

Are you kidding?

He gave me 65 bucks for everything.

Ugh. He's such a cheapskate.

Here, let me see.

Uh, not that one.

But there's still some good stuff in here.

You want me to put it up on eBay,

see what I can get?

Uh, sure, why not.

Every little bit helps right now.

Where do I find the graphic novels?

You mean comic books.

No, I mean graphic novels.

I don't read comic books. I'm not a geek.

Oh, well, I can't help you then.

Here at the Book O'Neer, geek is chic.

- Try Barnes & Noble.

- Whatever.

I guess you don't want me

to spend any money here.

That guy gets on my last nerve.

- You know him?

- By reputation only.

His name is Jonny Trash.

He's a celebrity blogger.

What the hell is he doing here

in San Cazador?

- They're here for the X-Party.

- The X-Party?

- What's that?

- A rave.

And it's gonna be here?

If you believe the rumors.

But they're not telling anyone where

it's gonna be until the night of the event.

Great.

Sounds like the final nail in my coffin.

What...?

Bye.

Oh, sh*t!

Who the hell parked...?

My truck.

You sure don't look like a cold-blooded,

meaner-than-hell, badass vampire killer.

Excuse me?

You're Edgar Frog.

Sworn enemy to nightcrawlers

and bloodsuckers the world over.

I'm sorry, lady.

You must have me confused

with somebody else.

I'm Gwen. Gwen Lieber.

- Hi.

- And there is no confusion.

You are the same Edgar Frog

that destroyed covens...

...in Santa Carla, Luna Bay

and in Washington, D.C.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Can we go inside to talk?

You got two minutes.

It's my brother, Peter.

He's been kidnapped.

A couple of years ago,

he started getting into trouble.

He was hanging out

with all the wrong kind of people.

Hmm.

And three weeks ago,

he went to Ibiza to this rave party thing...

...and he disappeared.

He started following around

this guy, DJ X.

He throws these events called X-Parties.

Yeah, I've heard of him.

Hi.

The same people

that are throwing this party...

...are throwing similar parties

all over the world.

And at these raves,

they're handing out this new designer drug.

It's called the Thirst.

- It comes in little ampoules like this one.

- Why would I care about...

...a bunch of drug addicts

with glow sticks?

Because the Thirst is not a drug.

It's vampire blood.

Nobody has seen him since.

Edgar, they are using these raves

to breed an army of vampires.

They're creating

their own global pandemic.

They've already infected hundreds

in Spain.

Done the same in Thailand, Rio

and in Greece.

And now the rumors say

that they're on their way here.

I'm not interested.

Look, I would obviously pay you

for your trouble.

And this could well be the last time that

you would have to do something like this.

All of my research suggests...

...that the Thirst is made from the blood

of the head vampire.

- The head vampire.

- The bloodsucking alpha.

- The alpha.

- From the Greek, "root"...

...meaning the first.

The original.

I knew that.

I'm still not interested.

And your two minutes are up.

I'm staying at the Hotel Cazador.

I truly hope that you'll reconsider.

I know you couldn't save your brother...

...but, Edgar,

maybe you can help me save mine.

Hmph.

Go and check on our guest, would you?

Hi, handsome.

How are you feeling?

Hmm. Poor little thing.

Just try to relax.

This will all be over soon.

Why would anyone

jump out of a perfectly good airplane?

Because it's so f***ing fun!

You make sure our package arrives

in one piece.

And send someone to take care of Frog.

DJ X...

...the man behind the machine. I've been

whoring the f*** out of your next party...

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