
Little Manhattan
(0.00 / 0 votes)For those of you out there
less experienced than me...
...let me tell you something
about girls.
They're basically gross.
See, this is pretty much
black-and-white...
...from where I'm standing.
Used to be, back in the day...
...maybe first or second grade...
...popular wisdom was
they gave you cooties.
Cooties?
She touched me! Cooties!
Don't touch me!
Cooties!
He has cooties!
We didn't know what cooties
were exactly.
if a girl touched you...
...some very, very bad things
were gonna happen.
How right we were.
This is me now.
I've been in love for
two-and-a-half weeks...
...and it's a pain I wouldn't wish
on my worst enemies.
I'm not going
to dress this up pretty.
Just about everything I know
about women...
...love, and the birds
and the frickin' bees...
I've learned in the past...
...two-and-a-half weeks.
But, when
you're ten years old...
Rosemary...!
...two-and-a-half weeks
can be a lifetime.
Okay, here's the deal.
If you came to hear some
great New York love story...
...keep walkin;
You want a real love story?
I'll tell you a real one.
My parents. Camp Annawanna.
Catskill Mountains, 1984.
My father was 19,
and a star sports counselor.
My mom was a CIT.
People say she reminded
them of Sissy Spacek.
What happened under
that harvest moon that summer...
...that's the stuff of legend.
In my family, it's what
we like to refer to as...
...ancient history.
These days, my dad's...
...sleeping on the couch.
Due to this unusual quirk...
...in the New York State
divorce code...
Neither one of my parents
could move out of our apartment...
...until their settlement is
signed, sealed and delivered.
Needless to say,
it doesn't make for...
...the greatest living
environment.
Did you drink my Pepsi?
It was my Pepsi.
It had my name on it.
Especially since my mom's...
...recently decided to start dating again.
Hello.
Leslie.
...than being mistaken
for your mother?
No, this is Gabe.
Hey, sorry, big guy.
You two sound so much alike.
Is your mom around?
This is Ronny.
Uh, I've got it, honey.
You can hang up.
Now that's a real love story.
This much I know firsthand-
love ends.
You want proof?
Check out my parents'
refrigerator.
Why did I ever have to discover...
...this ridiculous pain
inside of me?
Because two and a half
weeks ago...
...before all this love nonsense...
...and I'm not just saying
this either...
...now, before all this,
I was happy.
No!
Truly happy.
I'm serious.
My life was filled with song...
...and sport...
...and constant adventure.
Oh, Rosemary.
Rosemary, Rosemary, Rosemary.
Why did you ever have
to come into my life?
Who am I kidding?
She's been in my life
for as long as I can remember.
during kindergarten...
...you might even say
we were friends.
What are you kids
doing under there?
That was before first grade...
...and the Iron Curtain came down.
Girls on one side...
...boys on the other.
Oh, she was still there,
of course.
I have the class pictures
to prove it.
I just didn't see her.
So, who wants to
go to Duane Reade?
Man, I am not helping you
steal Kit-Kats again, Max.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Watch it!
But you got no
trouble eating...
...the candy I provide
for ya, do ya?
I'm not doin' look-out.
I'm sorry, guys.
Hey, guys, it's 5:00.
I gotta roll.
I thought we were
gonna shoot some 21?
No, I'm meeting my dad
for football practice.
See you guys later.
The two of you are
so nuts, man.
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"Little Manhattan" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 18 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/little_manhattan_12668>.