Lily and Jim

Synopsis: Lily and Jim are interviewed about their disastrous blind date.
Director(s): Don Hertzfeldt
  22 wins & 4 nominations.
13 min


Geez, I don't even know

where to begin.

I just can't figure out men.

Remember how in first grade,

little boys would chase

little girls around the playground?

But whenever they'd catch one,

they'd get all confused and

embarrassed and wouldn't know

what to do with them?

That's... basically my love life.

Um... well, my dating track record

has always been a little, uh...

less than satisfactory, I guess.

Asking girls out has always

scared the hell out of me

because I'd always... you know,

say the wrong things

and get embarrassed and stuff.

I guess I've always had sort of

a self-esteem problem?

I don't think I'm very attractive anyway,

compared to most of my friends.

I'm usually introduced

as someone with...

you know, a great personality

or something.

They said she had a great personality,

so I was pretty excited

about meeting her.

It was my first blind date

and I was pretty nervous that he...

you know, wouldn't like me

or I'd screw up somehow.

I just wanted to make a

good first impression.

I'd never gone on a blind date before,

and I really didn't think

it was a good idea.

But I figured I'd give the whole

relationship thing one more shot.

I really had nothing left to lose, you know?

Noisy restaurant


A friend of mine recommended

this restaurant.

He said it was really romantic.

Yeah, it... it's nice.

Baby crying

What does your friend do?

He's an economic analyst.


I once knew someone

who had a dog.

I don't think she ever ate

at this restaurant though.

Have you ever eaten here before?

Nope! No, first time.

Yeah. Heh. Me too.

I heard the lobster's pretty good.

Mmm, great!


Did... did you see that show last night?

What show?

You know, with that guy,

that funny guy.


What's that show called, you know,

it's on channel four...

You know, that guy...

that guy with the things?

You know, those things on his head?


That show.

No, w-why, what...

what happened on it last night?

Oh... it was really funny.


My cable got shut off last night

so I...I didn't really...

I didn't see much... um...

Well... but I have a neighbor

that does, uh...

it's kinda...

He does sock puppet theater.

It's cool cuz he used to play soccer

so he's got lots of these really

different colored kinda socks.

Have you ever done this before?

Hm? Done... done what?

This whole blind date thing.

No, uh, this is actually my first one.

Yeah, me too.

Loud slurping

loud slurping



Awkward laugh



awkward laugh

So, uh, where do you work?

I heard you were in computers.

Yeah! Yeah, I work for Raytech Systems.


Right now I'm developing new packet

drivers for a binary protocol system

my friend is programming.


You see, we've been experiencing

a lot of difficulty resolving the lPs

It turns out that our

ISDN wires were crossed.

So, our network tech thought

that a T1 or T2 would've been too quick

for our C7 chip processor

so we're going back to basics.


Wow, heh heh, how about that.


I read somewhere that most

middle-aged Americans

have ten pounds of undigested

red meat in their colons.

Hmm! Mhm... Hmmm.

You know, that's really interesting

cuz my father has a lot of

blood in his stool.

Hmmm! Heh heh...

Are your parents from around here?


Um, my parents were

incinerated when I was three.



awkward laugh

Seen any good movies lately?

Yeah! Yeah I caught the new one downtown

uh, that new, uh...

Holocaust film.



Yeah it was...

pretty neat.

I'm not much of a conversationalist,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Don Hertzfeldt

Don Hertzfeldt (born August 1, 1976) is an American animator, writer, and independent filmmaker. He is a two-time Academy Award nominee who is best known for the animated films World of Tomorrow, It's Such a Beautiful Day, Rejected, and World of Tomorrow Episode Two. In 2014, his work appeared on The Simpsons. Eight of his short films have competed at the Sundance Film Festival, a festival record. He is also the only filmmaker to have won the Sundance Film Festival's Grand Jury Prize for Short Film twice. Hertzfeldt's work has been described as "some of the most influential animation ever created,", "some of the most vital and expressive animation of the millennium," and "some of the most essential short films of the past 20 years."In his book The World History of Animation, author Stephen Cavalier writes, "Hertzfeldt is either a unique phenomenon or perhaps an example of a new way forward for individual animators surviving independently on their own terms… he attracts the kind of fanatical support from the student and alternative crowds usually associated with indie rock bands." Hertzfeldt's animated feature film, It's Such a Beautiful Day, was listed by many film critics as one of the best films of 2012 and the L.A. Film Critics Association awarded it runner-up for Best Animated Feature Film of the year. A poll of film critics ranked Hertzfeldt as the 9th Best Film Director of 2012. After a limited UK release the following year, the film was ranked #3 on Time Out London's list of the 10 Best Films of 2013 and #4 on The London Film Review's list of the same. In 2014, Time Out New York ranked It's Such a Beautiful Day #16 on its list of the "100 Best Animated Movies Ever Made," and in 2016, The Film Stage critics ranked the film #1 on their list of the "Best Animated Films of the 21st Century (So Far)." In 2016, Rolling Stone ranked World of Tomorrow #10 on its list of the "Greatest Animated Movies Ever" and the Indiewire film critics named the short film one of the "Best Movies of the 21st Century". Despite its short running time, The A.V. Club called it "possibly the best film of 2015."World of Tomorrow Episode Two: The Burden of Other People's Thoughts premiered in 2017 and received rare "A+" reviews from Indiewire and Collider, where it was described as "another soulful sci-fi masterpiece." The Daily Beast called it "one of the best films of the year... a must-see animated masterpiece."Hertzfeldt primarily supports his work through self-distribution such as ticket sales from theatrical tours, DVDs, VOD, and television broadcasts. He has refused all advertising work.Hertzfeldt lives in Austin, Texas. He spent many years in Santa Barbara, California after attending college there. He has kept a blog on his website since 1999. more…

All Don Hertzfeldt scripts | Don Hertzfeldt Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Lily and Jim" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 Apr. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Lily and Jim

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.