Leave It to Beaver

Hello,Beaver!

Hi, Wally!

Mommy, there's Bert,

the pie man!

- Morning, Bert!

- Hello, Mrs. Brown!

Great day, isn't it?

Yep!

- Have a good day, dear.

- You too, honey.

[ Electricity Crackles ]

- [ Barking ]

- Oh!

I'll get you for this,

Beaver Cleaver!

[ Gasping ]

Oh!

[ Cat Screeches ]

[ Whistling ]

[ Whistling ]

- Morning, Bert!

- Morning, Bert!

Morning, boys!

Great day, isn't it?

[ Groaning ]

[ Grunts ]

Sorry, mister.

That was the first one I missed all day.

Huh!

Hey, Wally, stop, stop!

Please!

There it is. That's the most

beautiful thing I ever seen.

Well, golly, gee! It's Wally

and the Beaver at the bike shop.

What do you want,

Eddie Haskell?

The usual. See how fast

I can make ya cry.

Hey, knock it off, Eddie. Why you always

givin' Beaver the business?

Well, basically because...

it's so easy.

Wally, I want that bike more than

anything ever, even super powers.

Don't go cry to Wally. You want advice

on how to get a bike? Ask the master.

How will I know

when I see "the master?"

Because he's wearin'

what I'm wearin'.

Now, let's chat, squirt.

Have a seat in my office.

Now, you want a bike,

but you're a screw up.

- Eddie.

- Isn't this the same kid...

who lost his Nikes, broke his Walkman

and almost burned down the garage?

The garage wasn't

Beaver's fault.

You got a birthday comin' up.

As any normal kid knows,

the way to score a cool present

is to suck up to your parents.

- Suck up?

- It's so second nature to me,

I forget others find it hard.

Yes, suck up. Do something

that'll make your old man proud.

He's a frustrated jock. Why not do

something like... play football?

Football?

He'll get demolished.

As appealing as that may sound, Wallace,

it doesn't matter.

The minute you get that bike--

Wham! You quit the team.

But I don't do junk

like that, Eddie. You do.

You flatter me.

Do you want that bike or don't you?

[ Sighs ]

[ Laughing, Chattering ]

Hey, Dad! Dad!

- Oh.

- Beaver, wait!

- Aren't ya gonna say hi?

- Hi. When's Dad coming home?

He should be home

any minute.

Maybe I'll just wait

for him outside.

Beaver? Is there somethin'

I can help ya with?

Oh, no, Mom. I'm not supposed

to be sucking up to you.

[ Boy ]

Here you go.

- Dad! Dad! Dad!

- Hey, Beaver!

Here, Dad, let me help you

with your junk.

Did you do something wrong?

Gee, Dad, how come whenever I act nice,

people think I done something wrong?

Just conditioning, Beav.

Sure you don't want

a hand with those?

Oh, no, Dad.

I want your hands free...

to sign my permission slip

so I can play...

for the Mayfield Mighty Mites.

[ Clears Throat ]

You wanna play... football.

- [ Whistle Blows ]

- Yeah!

Go, Beaver!

Pick it up!

[ Grunts ]

Go! Go! Go!

- Yeah!

- [ Whistle Blows ]

[ Mom ]

Beaver? Play football?

You didn't tell him

he could, did you, Ward?

Of course not. I told him

I had to check with you first.

Oh! And make me

the bad guy.

Do you want a repeat

of T-ball season?

Have you forgotten

about the Beaver--

- Who's winning now, Wally?

- I don't know, Beav.

They're talking about stuff in the past

that they're still ticked off about.

Tell me you're doing this because

it's in your son's best interest...

and not to fulfill some lingering

adolescent fantasy of yours.

What? Dear, when I was playing sandlot,

it really changed my life.

I know what you're thinking, but

Beaver's not too small to play football.

Hut! Hut! Hut!

- Hut! Hut! Hut!

- Mayfield!

- Beav, other way! Other way!

- Mayfield!

- One, two, three, four!

- Your mommies, your daddies...

think this isn't

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