Late Phases

1

- Hey, you need help?

- No, I'm just looking.

Well, what exactly

is your range, price-wise?

Depends, what do they cost?

Well, we got little ones and big ones.

- Big ones start at about three thousand.

- No senior citizen discount?

I sell headstones at a senior

citizen discount, I won't last long.

What do you got on the small scale?

Well, the one you were looking at,

that starts at three hundred.

That's pretty good for a budget.

Yeah, but these are shit, people step

on 'em, they wear the words off.

Well, they ain't cheaper

'cause they're better.

Well, the VA's picking up the tab for the

funeral but I gotta pay for the headstone.

Oh, pay for the funeral, that's nice.

Listen, you're a vet,

I'll give you five percent,

plus we'll throw in some flowers.

I'm sure that's a comfort

to dying vets everywhere. Come.

Listen, you want me to

hold anything for you?

Let me think about it, I got time.

Here, pop. Right here. Come on.

Yeah, people always think they got time.

So...

- how'd it go?

- It was lovely. What do you think?

I think it was a bad idea to begin with.

- Did you pick something?

- Dying ain't cheap.

It costs less to pay you to stand in the

cemetery and point at my grave all day.

Will you get off the goddamn cellphone?

It's illegal.

Are you kidding?

How did you know that I was...

Can you hear me pushing

the buttons or something?

You're driving like an idiot,

you're all over the road.

Okay, I'm just... I'm trying to tell Ann

that this is taking a little bit

longer than I thought,

and that I'm going to be late

for dinner. That's all.

Hey.

Hey!

Easy, boy.

Speed limit's 25.

Thanks a lot f*cking asshole.

I gotta live here, Will. Don't make them

hate me, I can do that on my own.

What's it look like?

It's nice.

It is... you know,

the houses are close together, but...

It reminds me of that place

we used to live in when I was a kid.

Any jerk-offs staring at us?

Yeah.

Yeah, they are. Yep.

But, I mean, who can blame them,

this is probably the most exciting thing

that's happened to them in a month.

Jesus, what's his problem?

It's you. You have your mother's scent.

That's the first time you've mentioned

her since her funeral, pops.

Come.

- Dad, wait for me, I'll be right there.

- I got it.

- Mailbox on your right.

- Thanks.

Hold on, pops, let me get your bags.

Looks like we beat the movers here.

Sounds empty.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm dropping

you off at prison.

You don't look like

a necklace kind of guy.

I can't see you,

but you smell beautiful.

Oh, thank you very much.

- Did you just move next door?

- Yes.

It's so nice to see

a new face around here.

It's nice to hear somebody referring

anything of me as "new."

- Delores.

- Ambrose.

Hello, Ambrose.

- Hello, Delores.

- Hello, hello.

Delores... Can you tell me what that is?

- Claw-something? Some kind of claw?

- Dad?

You know I really don't like it when you

go walking around without Shadow like that.

I'm sorry, excuse me, my name's Will.

I'm Ambrose's son.

- Oh, hello, Will. Delores.

- Nice to meet you, miss.

Can I get you back to the house?

The movers are going to be here any minute.

I hope to smell you again very soon.

I hope so, too.

Right this way, pops.

- Knock, knock!

- Hello!

Who's there?

We are Crescent Bay's Welcoming Party,

and, well, we just couldn't wait

to introduce ourselves to you!

- I'm Emma.

- And I'm Gloria!

- I'm Clarissa.

- Ambrose McKinley.

Mr. McKinley, is there anything

we can do to help?

No, thanks.

- Did you bring cake?

- Yes.

Yes we did!

And where would you like us to put it?

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