Last Passenger

Welcome on board the train from

Charing Cross to Tunbridge Wells.

Train stops in London Bridge,

Orpington, Sevenoaks, Tonbridge

High Brooms and Tunbridge Wells.

I'll be moving around through the train.

Please have your

tickets ready for inspection.

Where are we, Max?

Are we still in London?

I think so. Can we just have one game?

Just one.

- One game of what?

- Rock, paper, scissors.

And then you have to promise

to get some sleep.

- Best of five.

- No. I'm not doing best of five. One game.

Okay.

Let me warm up my hands. Hands are

very important to "rock, paper, scissors".

Ready and preying for action.

Rock, paper, scissors!

- Best of three.

- Rock, paper, scissors.

- Hang on a minute you're cheating. Yes you are.

- You're guessing what I'm thinking, aren't you?

- You're reading my mind.

- But that's not cheating.

Alright, best of five.

Ready?

Someone's ringing.

No they're not.

Somebody is ringing.

This is Shaler.

Sorry? Hang on a second.

You lot mind keeping it down?

I'm on the phone!

Thank you very much.

Hang on a bit. Mouse, you just wait here. I'm going over there.

It's quieter. Harry can forage a bit, Okay?.

Tell me you've got police restraining drunks -

- teenagers in tears and nurses

doubling as bouncers.

I'm on the train home from London.

It's self-ventilating?

Well no, I took my boy to see "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang".

Where is the registrar?

- Who are you traveling with?

- My father. He's over there.

Yah no, you cut out for a second.

- What's his name?

- Harry.

No, No don't do that. I'll be there. Just clear the

recess. Call the trauma team.

Don't wait for the blood results...

Don't wait for the blood results.

Just get me to the X-rays.

I'll be there in ... 47 minutes.

- You said Harry could forage for food.

- Here's a tissue... Oh my God.

You're lucky I don't take Harry away right now.

- I'm so, sooo sorry.

This is how my night's been going.

I take it this little charmer is yours.

Charmer... half right.

- Did you say you're sorry, Max?

- I'm sorry.

- I accept. It's alright, I understand.

Listen, can I...

pay for the cleaning?

Buy me a new coat..

if it makes you feel better.

I'm joking, really.

I'm fine.

- I'm soo sorry.

- Oh, I'll survive.

You, sit down, don't move.

Max, that was the hospital that called.

There's been a car crash monkey, and they

need me in tonight.

I'm going to have to take you to stay

at grandma and grandpa's, okay?

They'll have mince pies -

- ice cream - chocolate cake.

And lots and lots of whiskey.

I'm sorry monkey.

How long now? Before you said you'd

be at the hospital in about 47 minutes.

- Well, I was... just...

- How can you get away with being so vague?

- I mean what about the seconds?

Are all doctors so meticulous or is it just you?

Dad's a really good Doctor. He can tell

what's wrong with people just by looking at them.

- What about her?

- Pneumocranial disorder.

"Pneumo" as in air,

"cranial" as in skull.

- "Airhead". Nice save!

- Yah, the price is the same.

- Would you like to see some of my pictures?

- Yes, I'd love to see your pictures! Thank you.

Yes, I would. I love art!

I warned you.

This is one of my stories i've been doing -

- and the pictures are falling out and everything.

I don't really know why.

You'll be there all night.

And this is called "Treasure Island".

It's got a bit like my doodah.

My, you're very talented! I wonder where

you get that from.

Do you know you're going to be a famous artist one day?

Yah.

I think I'm going to frame my coat.

- I think it's good meeting you tonight.

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