Lano & Woodley: The Island

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Simon Francis
60 min

You're special.

You have a very special

purpose in life.

You've been chosen.

The Island awaits you.

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Good morning, Tower One.

Exterior contamination index

is 85 percent.

Sunny and mild.

Hey, I'm missing a left shoe.

And when you get a chance,

I'd like another color.

- Morning.

- Good morning.

- Hey, Lincoln. How you doing?

- I'm missing a shoe.

- Hey, you're cutting.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

We're full.

Good morning.

July 19th, 2019.

Another day in paradise.

Starkweather Two Delta,

your time has come.

You're moving out to the Island.

Starkweather Two Delta here.

And, as you know, the biggest dream

of my life just came true.

I've only been with you guys

for, like, six months,

but I won the lottery.

- That's right, me, Starkweather, OK?

- Six months.

To go out and breathe fresh air,

swim in the ocean...

I can't believe I won.

You call me Mr. Popular, I know.

It's me. It's me.

You guys know I'm not like this,

but this is just amazing.

I'm going to the Island!

We're gonna have so much fun!

But I need to see you guys out there.

You can do it! I won!

That was this week's...

We got a disturbance

on elevator 12, plaza level.

...just moments before his

final departure to the Island,

nature's last remaining

pathogen-free zone.

- Lucky guy, huh?

- You can be a winner too.

The next lottery is tonight.

The next lottery is tonight.

- How long have you been here?

- Two years.

- What about you?

- Three.

Three. I've been here seven.

If I do the math, that makes me

the biggest lottery loser in the room.

I'm such a loser.


Yeah, you.


Gandu Three Echo, you've been flagged

for public disturbance before.

Yes, I had a very small

emotional outburst, sir.

- Safe to say it's over?

- Yes, very safe.

- I'm feeling much better.

- Well, then, have a pleasant day.

Thank you, you too.

You both have a pleasant day too.

Feel the stretch.

One more breath in.

But I was in that section.

No, I don't understand!

- I tried! I tried to do the best I...

- Listen to me!

Remember, be polite,

pleasant and peaceful.

A healthy person is a happy person.

Lincoln Six Echo, choices are fruit,

oatmeal and any type of bran.

No bacon today?

You got a nutrition flag,

means no bacon.

In that case, two eggs,

over easy, not too runny,

and a side of sausages.

Maybe some French toast

and a little powdered sugar.

You ain't cute and I got no time

for your lip, Six Echo.

Now, what's it gonna be?

Move it.

Surprise me.


Yummy. Next.

Watch and learn.


Jordan Two Delta.

- Hi, honey.

- Hi.

Choices are powdered eggs,

dried fruit and yogurt.

- Eggs, please.

- OK.

So, where were you the other day?

We missed you.

That's nice of you to say, sweetheart.

Get you anything else?

Maybe a little bacon.

No, it says I shouldn't.

- Go ahead.

- Four, five pieces, please.

Thank you.

Well, good luck.

Gotta run along now.

You're not going.

You gotta stay for dinner.

- I softened her up for you.

- No doubt.

- Back on your diet?

- You kidding? I love this stuff.

Better eat up.

You'll need all your strength tonight.

Is that a challenge?

I promise I'll go easy on you.

Please separate.

Find your seats now.


"'Who wants Sally? ' said Dick.

'I do,' said Jane.

'I cannot find Sally.

Get up, Dick.

Get up and help me find Sally.

Is Sally here?"'

Dr. Merrick will see you now.

What'd you do wrong this time,

tough guy?


- You wanted to see me?

- Yes. Please.

Please, sit down.

So, how is Lincoln Six Echo today?

Not so good, I guess.

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Colin Lane

Colin Stuart Lane (born 25 March 1965) is an Australian comedian, actor and TV host living in Melbourne, best known for being one-half of comedy duo Lano and Woodley. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Lano & Woodley: The Island" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 6 May 2021. <>.

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