Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

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Ahh.

Master Pain,

what do we do?

Open the mouth.

The Chosen One !

Huh? What?

Baby--

Kill it !

We will all be cursed !

Hmm. Hmm?

Mm? Hmm !

Mm, lighter, mm-hmm.

So cute.

Bye-bye !

He's in the movie.

So is she.

He is too.

it's starting now.

The child had become a man.

Rolling to the bottom

of a gully,

he was raised

by various rodents.

Having no true home,

he wandered the wilderness...

in search of the one

who stole his life.

So on he walked...

and sometimes drove.

And occasionally,

partied with

the desert creatures.

Party ! Party ! Party !

Little did he know...

that before him lied

a mystical road...

of great warriors

and legends.

Your days are over, mister.

He lived under constant attack.

What they had not accomplished

when he was a child...

they sought to nowfinish.

Through his adversity,

he learned to fight...

The more he fought,

the more his powers grew.

- i mean, crap, man ! Look at that.

- Ohh--

- That's, like, his stomach plug

on the ground back there.

You don't see that every day.

i mean, that doesn't really even

seem possible if you think about it,

with body organs and cartilage

and bones and--

i mean, i'm no doctor,

but it was like one clean chunk.

Uh-oh. Trouble.

Open your mouth !

Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi !

Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi ! Uuh !

I need gopher-chuks.

Uh--

Uuh !

Our... sexual... preferences...

are... our... own...

business.

- Yeah.

- Oh, you.

Alfalfa.

- Hey, oh. Huh?

Hes an outsider.

Have you ever seen him before?

Mm-mm.

Well, twice.

Hey, whos he?

I dont know.

...and that day, I vowed

to find the man who killed my family.

Can you help me?

And why have you

come to me?

You are Master Tang.

Your skills are greatly known.

Ive traveled many years

and miles to find you.

How many miles?

Would you say ten million?

Eh--

No, I don"t think ten million.

Look, I need your help.

I live under constant attack.

Hmm. Your story

makes my heart heavy...

and my prostate weak.

My bladder is full

to bursting.

I feel for you

and your grave loss.

However, it will be impossible

for us to help you.

Master, I implore you

to reconsider.

Hmm. Okay !

The man you seek,

his name is Master Pain.

He has great powers and is

well protected by the Evil Council.

But now I am in a quandary.

For if your story is true,

then you would--

Huh?

What are the odds of that?

You would be

the Chosen One.

- Master !

Ah, again with

the squeaky shoes.

Master, I was hoping one day

I could be the Chosen One.

- Be quiet !

- Master !

I dont like him very much.

Lets kill him.

- Sit down !

- Eeyah !

i must apologize for Wimp Lo.

He is an idiot.

We have purposely trained him wrong,

as a joke.

Hah !

If youve got an ass, Ill kick it.

- Hmm.

- Legend tells us...

that the true Chosen One...

will bear the mark

of infinite wisdom.

Yea, yea !

What in Gods name

is that thing?

He seems to be the reason

Im pursued.

There are so many things

Ive yet to understand.

- Does it have a name?

- Tonguey.

I should not have asked.

Still, this is

a glorious day,

for the Chosen One has come

to free us from the Evil Council.

I remember

a long time ago...

when a good friend of mine

told me...

there would be

a Chosen One.

There will be

a Chosen One.

Then he told me...

of the significance.

It will be significant.

And then he killed the dog.

I now officially know too much.

And why are you in bed?

Oh, you wont even believe

what happened next.

- No, please !

- Very well, Chosen One.

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