
Kung Fury
Hey, you got a permit
for those guns?
Catchy tune.
F*ck this game.
F*CK YOU!
We need backup,
we need Kung Fury.
Yeah, that's my bicep.
One second babe.
Hello?
We got an arcade machine
down here going crazy,
it is killing everybody,
it's destruction,
chaos, terror-
What are you gonna do?
My job.
Game over.
I'm a cop and
damn good at my job.
In the line of duty,
me and my partner were
chasing down
a mysterious Kung Fu-master.
You're under arrest, punk.
Show us your hands.
Good work, Dragon.
killed us both.
But goddammit, you're the
best partner I've ever had.
Thanks,
I learned from the best.
You're like a father to me.
With one fatal blow,
he hit my partner.
I could tell
he was dead straight off.
Before I could pull the trigger
I was hit by lightning
and bitten by a cobra.
I blacked out.
And saw images of ancient
Shaolin temples and monks,
mastering the art of Kung Fu.
There was an ancient prophecy,
about a new form
of Kung Fu so powerful,
The chosen one.
When I woke up,
I saw the Kung Fu master
running towards me.
I could feel my body mutate
into some sort of
Kung Fu freak of nature.
You!
You are the chosen one!
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Knuckles.
As a memento,
I put on a strip of cloth
from the dead Kung Fu master.
my new super Kung Fu powers
to fight crime.
So, I became
the best cop in the world.
I became, Kung Fury.
I don't wanna hear it Kung Fury.
I just got back from city hall,
and I got the mayor up
my ass like a fag on Viagra.
How am I going to explain
this to the press, hm?
You just destroyed an entire
city block for Christ's sake.
Didn't you tell me
to block it out?
I told you do it by the book.
Cut the bullshit.
Nobody else could have stopped
that arcade machine
and you know it.
Oh man, listen to me Kung Fury.
You need to start following
the rules like the rest of us,
so I'm assigning you
a new partner.
What?
Hell no, I work alone.
Not anymore you don't.
Say hi to your new partner,
Triceracop.
Very nice meeting you Kung Fury,
looking forward to
working with you.
You're like a father to me.
I work alone.
Either you team up
with Triceracop,
or you're off the case.
I'm not off the case,
I quit.
Yeah Yeah, I did the blood test.
It was positive, yeah?
What the hell
are you talking about?
Yeah no problem.
Give me the phone.
What the hell is this?
- Is this the police?
- Yeah, this is the police.
- F*ck you!
MALFUNCTIONING?
I need someone
to trace that call!
But that's impossible!
Not for me it isn't.
Hackerman, he's the most
powerful hacker of all time.
Follow me.
I was able to triangulate
the cell phone signal
and trace the caller.
His name is Adolf Hitler.
Hitler, he's the worst
criminal of all time.
Do you know him, sir?
In the 1940's,
Hitler was a Kung Fu champion.
He was so good at Kung Fu,
that he decided to change
his name to Kung Fhrer.
But he didn't stop there.
He knew of
the Kung Fury prophecy,
and wanted to claim the throne.
He and his posse of
Nazi soldiers
conducted experiments
for years.
But they weren't able
to figure out
how to master the art
of Kung Fury.
And one day,
he disappeared
from the face of the earth.
And no-one has seen him
ever since.
Until now.
I guess he figured if he could
find and kill the chosen one,
he would become
Kung Fury himself.
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Citation
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"Kung Fury" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 23 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kung_fury_12044>.