[ Wind Blowing ]

[ Orchestra ]

[ Whistling ]

[ Whistling Stops ]

[ Song Ends ]

The Lord is

My shepherd

[ Orchestra Intro Note ]

I shall not want

He maketh me to lie down

In green pastures

He leadeth me


the still--

[ Singer Yelps ]

Still waters

He restoreth my soul

Thy rod

And Thy staff

Pig! Grow up, can't you?

Coffee, anyone?

- Franta?

- No, I'm in a hurry.

Another job? You must be rolling in it.

Can you lend me a hundred 'til Monday?

- You'll get it back.

- I know. Or else I wouldn't lend it.

[ Bell Dings ]

[ Organ Playing Softly ]


Now, this car is ideal.

- So practical.

- Get a Trabant, at least.

How much is a Trabant?

- New or used?

- Used.

- You'd need a hatchback. Twenty,

twenty-five thousand. - [ Whistles ]

Hold on, hold on.

[ Horn Honks ]

I'm going, idiot!

They sure looked better from behind.

I didn't look back. So for me,

they'll be beautiful forever.

[ Laughter]

Bills, bills!

Greedy vultures, the lot of you.

Hi, Helenka?

This is Louka.

I suddenly felt so lonely,

so guess who I thought of?

That's right, you.


you wouldn't be scared

of a night in my tower?

To the theater?

Of course I'm not mad. How could I be?

No, get going then. Bye.

[ Dialing ]


It's me, Louka.

Zuzi, I suddenly felt so lonely,

so guess who I thought of?.

You, of course.

Oh, he's home?

Okay. Yeah. Bye.

Our Unwavering Security''

[ Radio Announcer ] Czechoslovak socialism

is undergoing cosmetic democratization.

Economically insufficient, it

has no regard for human dignity.

The system is nearing collapse.

''Trabant, needs much work.

Twenty thousand.''


This is Radio Free Europe.

Good morning.

Good morning.

I'd say that inscription

needs restoring.

It's the rain.

- I could do it for you.

- What do you mean?

- I restore headstones.

- How much would it be, altogether?

Well, it's not that long.

[ Mumbling ]

Thirty-six letters.

That would be 1 80 crowns.

Oh, my. Why is it so expensive?

Because there's real gold dust in there.

See how it glitters? It's real gold.

Pity there are two T's in his name.

You could've saved five crowns.


He maketh me to lie down

In green pastures

He leadeth me

Beside the still waters

[ Continues ]

[ Organ Continues ]

[ Sighing ] Do you know how

long I've waited for this, Louka?

Two years. Since Hajkova's funeral.

- That's awful.

-Such a long time! [ Hiccups ]

No, it's awful...

that we measure time in

funerals, like undertakers.

- You were never married, were you?

- No.

My late father always said...

if you want a musical

career, don't get married.

- Music means celibacy.

- [ Hiccups ]

- Do you have hiccups?

- Yes, always afterwards.

When it's that good.

Always afterwards.

You know what?

Bite on your left pinky.

It puts pressure on

the hiccupping points.

- [ Hiccups ]

- Or try lifting your left leg...

at the same time as your right arm...

so the blood drains out.

- They say that works too.

- [ Chuckles ] First time I heard that one.

-[ Tapping ]

- What's that noise?

It's the pigeons.

Sharpening their beaks

on the window sill.

- [ Sighs ]

- [ Hiccups ]

Wait, I think I got it backwards.

The other way. Lift up your leg.

- That's my right leg.

- Okay, right leg and left arm.

[ Laughing ] Why did they toss

you out of the Philharmonic...

[ Clears Throat ] when you play so well?

- I don't feel like talking about it.

- Then don't.

You know what? It works.

- I told you it would.

-[ Tapping ]

Why are they sharpening their beaks?

Why? Now, that one I can explain.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Kolja" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kolja_11970>.

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