Kill Buljo: The Movie

I have to congratulate you, Jompa.

And thank you -

- for inviting me

to your engagement party.

I am really looking forward

to marrying you on Saturday.

Shit... this Saturday?

What time?

It's at four.

How could you forget that, Jompa?

F*ck!

Right during the football on TV.

Isn't that a small price

for marrying the woman you love?

Love? Love has got

nothing to do with it.

She's got 5000 reindeers.

I've got one, and that's limp.

They shot me.

In the middle of

the engagement party.

Weapons on the rack, please.

It hurt like hell.

They shot my girl,

my whole family.

Even the reindeer.

But they made one big mistake.

They thought I was dead.

Is this regarding

the illegal slaughtering?

But I wasn't fucking dead!

God... this makes me sick.

Man showing his true nature.

I can't believe that anyone can

murder so many innocent people.

Most of these people are Lapps,

so I don't really see a problem.

But when they decided to waste

Banana Airlines (Norw. Cult band), -

- they made it personal.

What have you got for me, Unni?

What's the status here?

We recovered cartridge cases

from four different weapons.

Multiple eyewitnesses saw four

people leaving after the shooting.

Eyewitnesses here -

- are about as reliable

as the fly who said -

- it flew away from a pile of shit.

I solved my first case

when I was nine.

So I think I know

what I need to know -

- about police work.

Where is the last Coke?

Where?

OK, so I guess you think

anything goes in this house?

I was thirsty,

and we we're out of milk.

I guess we're out of water as well?

Here I am, working my dick off.

Do you think the social security

check cashes itself?

I wanted to relax in front of the TV

with a nice, cold drink.

Here you are, you little cocksucker,

finishing off daddy's Coke.

You're a fucking disgrace. What in

the hell is going to become of you?

I'm gonna be a cop.

You can't even investigate the

skid marks in your own underpants.

What is that suppose to mean,

you fucking deadbeat?

Did you just disrespect me?

Hang around here, smartass, until

your ass is numb in every direction.

- Good morning, officers.

- Morning, Wisloeff.

A little bird told me

you're producing moonshine?

- And selling it to under aged kids?

- That's just malicious slander.

- You won't mind if I look around?

- No, by all means.

- Check the trapdoor.

- Sid, shut up. Don't listen to him.

The boy is crazy.

It's his fucking mother's fault.

Let's split it 60/40.

I'll take the 60 and you the 40?

- Arrest this asshole.

- F*ck you, Sid, you little dildo!

You're cut off, you hear?

CUT OFF!

Sid?!

What do you think happened here?

I'll tell you.

It all started out as

a peaceful celebration.

Suddenly Jompa discovers something

that makes him totally lose it.

Someone has been watering down

his beloved booze.

He pulls out a shotgun.

Everyone is dead.

Case closed. That's lunch.

A bit weird since he himself

was shot 4 times in the head.

We have a Lapp

with a serious drinking problem.

What more do we need?

Dead as a duck.

A duck?

You're in a barn

talking about ducks?

Fucking moron.

No, I mean he is dead as a duck.

Jompa Tormann is dead.

Nice work. The last thing we need now

is some drunken Lappp bastard -

- sticking his nose

where it doesn't belong.

Now we can finally

concentrate on Project Tourism.

I want everyone

to keep a low profile.

Everyone keeps doing

what they normally do.

I don't want to raise

any unnecessary suspicion.

Now nothing can stop us.

Hot little thing' uh?

Nice.

Came in last week. Tested him out

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