Kidnapping Mr. Heineken

---

So you've decided

to make your own luck.

I can understand that.

I made Heineken

into a world class brand.

Me. On my own.

It's worth billions now.

I did that.

And not by sitting

on my ass either

waiting for the stupid

money fairy

to hit me on my stupid

damned head.

You know

that what you're doing

is completely stupid.

Unless, of course,

you pull it off,

in which case it can be

completely brilliant.

Yeah. I suppose

if I were in your shoes,

I would do

exactly the same.

[baby crying]

(Cor)

Ah, there he is.

What are you doing?

Huh?

(Cor)

What are

you doing?

You can't bring

a kid to this.

He can wait

outside with Brakes.

[sigh]

This is f***ed up.

[several shouting]

Listen, it's

not f***ed.

It's fine.

Cat, can you put

the kid down, please?

Just give him

to my little brother.

Right. Now,

is everyone ready?

(Cat)

Yes.

Is everyone ready?

(Spikes)

Yeah!

Alright, let's do this.

(Cor)

Well, it's a pleasure

to finally meet you,

Mr. Iverson.

My name is Cor Van Hout.

This is Mr. Holleeder,

Mr. Boellard, and Mr. Meijer.

We're here today

in the hope

of asking you

for a loan.

A loan?

(Willem)

Yeah.

It's a business loan.

And what particular

sort of...?

Construction.

(Cat)

Yeah, we

were doing well.

(Willem)

Yeah, really well.

You've been running

a company employing

a hundred men?

Yeah, well, we were

all equal partners,

yeah, right down

the middle there.

Um, Mr. Boellard here

is a master carpenter.

Mr. Meijer has a...

if these numbers

are real,

you're in

fine shape.

Surely, if

you've been making

this kind of money,

you must

have investments

that you could stake

as collateral?

(Cor)

Uh, well, we had, uh,

you know, cars,

and we had boats

and we had

some race horses but...

Equities, bonds,

pension funds?

When the recession hit,

we cashed in.

The cars,

the boats,

the horses?

It's for paychecks, uh,

for guys living

from one Friday

to the next.

I think

you can understand

that their kids

can't live or eat off IOUs.

I think, maybe,

what you haven't heard,

Mr. Big Manager,

is that, uh,

there's a world

of hurt out there

right now...

Oh, believe me,

I know.

Well, we still got

a building.

Great.

What's the address?

Uh, it's Leidsegracht.

Six six three.

Hold on.

Leidsegracht?

The commune?

Commune?

It's a bunch of punks

that don't pay their rent.

It's hardly

a f***ing commune.

Yes.

Squatters.

We're in the process

of evictions.

Government says

once they change

the locks,

they've got rights.

So that means lawyers.

I do see your problem.

But you're

welcome back

when you solve it.

[shout of frustration]

[baby crying]

(Cat)

Guys like him

don't lend money

to guys like us.

We'll get the punks

out of the building.

Yeah.

How are you

going to do that?

(Cor)

Yeah. I got

an idea.

Alright, listen.

You're going

to love this.

(Cor)

it's time to go, boys!

Hey, what's going on?

Time to go!

(Spikes)

Open up!

(Cor)

Cat, get in through a window,

not the front door!

[banging]

Open up!

[shouting]

(Cat)

Come on down!

(girl)

You don't

scare me!

You f***ing stink!

[shouts]

Whoa!

I'll come back

for you.

Get the f*** out!

[banging]

Coming!

[banging continues]

F***ing coming!

[shouting]

(man)

Oh, sh*t!

(girl)

Get out of here!

Sh*t.

(man)

Oh, sh*t!

Oh!

[shouting]

(punk)

Get the f***

out of here.

Oh, sh*t.

[shouting]

You going

to go?

Go and get

the f*** out of here!

Get the f*** out!

Go on!

[police sirens]

(pothead)

Now you're in trouble!

Go! Go!

Everyone out!

(police officer)

Go, go, go!

(Spikes)

Hey, this is

our building!

We own this place!

(man's voice)

Fuckface!

Police! Police!

Everybody go!

You want

to do this?

No.

No, I think

I'll pass.

P*ssy.

Hey!

Whoaaa!

(man's voice)

Charge!

[shouting]

(man)

Get your f***ing hands

off of me now.

(Cor)

I hope... well, f*** it.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Fine. Thank you.

Bye.

What'd he say?

(Cor)

Well, he said

if we lived in Texas,

they'd throw us a parade.

But here,

well you know

how that is.

Yeah.

Anyway, good news.

Squatters aren't going

to press charges.

How kind

is that?

Whooptiedoo.

Happy days.

(cop)

Cornelius Van Hout.

Yo.

Thank you.

Only Van Hout.

(Spikes)

Huh?

Hey.

Bad news. You guys

resisted arrest.

Plus, not only do they

get to stay in the building,

we got to pay

for the sh*t we busted.

Yeah, including

the fish!

F*** the fish.

Sonja?

Hey.

Uh-oh.

[chuckles]

No, no, no.

Listen. I can explain.

L... Sonja,

please, will... Son...!

[lock clicks]

Sonja, what

are you doing?

[vomiting]

You alright?

What's going on, Son?

[baby gurgling]

[chuckling]

What are you doing?

What are you doing

hiding in my kitchen?

Hey, who are you?

Who are you, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know who you are.

I just worked it out.

Yeah, that's right.

You know what?

You are way

too good-looking

to be Karin's boy. Hm?

Oh, hey, Karin, hey.

Hey, how you doing?

I was just joking...

if you had any idea

what's been going

on with Sonja,

then you wouldn't do

as you do.

[toilet flushing]

What do you mean

"going on"?

Sonja, please, wh...

what's going on?

I'm pregnant.

Ah. Ah.

What?

Ha.

Wow.

That's, uh...

[chuckles]

Really?

That's unbelievable.

You're f***ing pregnant?

Yeah.

I'll leave you two

to it then.

Bye!

See you, Karin!

Hey, come on, you!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes