Kicking & Screaming

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I was born a baby.

A blank slate.

Thinking I was in control

of my own destiny.

And then I met my father.

You better be good at this stuff.

In college, I wasn't

the most gifted athlete.

But in order to

please my dad,

I strived to be

the very best.

Oh. Little help,

already out of control.

I'm losing vision,

it's blackness.

You guys here, you might

want to move out of there,

I gotta let go of this thing.

Oh-oh.

Look out! For Pete's sake!

How far was that?

Foot and three inches.

Hope you boys are ready.

See you at the finish line.

There's a... There's

a rabid cheetah in Lane 2 here.

Runners take your mark.

Get set!

Hold on! Wait!

I got it, right

below the knee, the nub.

Oh, that hurts!

No, no, no, no.

Your day's over, Phil.

Yes, I was quite the athlete.

Oh.

So much so,

that I caught the eye

of the prettiest girl

in school.

Oh. Are you all right?

Yeah.

Sorry about that.

Yeah, it's no prob.

There's a horrible wind.

Uh, no, there isn't.

There is o-over there.

Dad? Hey, Dad!

Barbara said "yes. "

Hey, Son.

This is Janice.

I met her at the A&P.

Hi.

We're gonna get married.

Can I talk to you

alone?

Yeah.

Be right back.

Nice to meet you,

Barbara. Heard a lot about you.

It's nice to meet you.

She's great-looking. What you

talking about? She's terrific.

You're getting married?

Look, Phil, I'm

lonely. I'm a man.

It hasn't been easy for me

since your mom died.

She didn't die,

she divorced you.

Um, tomatoes, tomatoes.

You know.

Baby.

One year later, on the proudest day

of my life,

he was right there

by my side.

There he is,

your grandson, Sam.

Oh, by the way, he had a son

on the same day.

Take a gander

at your brother, Bucky.

Just a little bit bigger.

Welcome to my life.

Excuse me. Hey, y-you didn't

need to take up two spots.

Actually, I do. Look at the

size of this bad boy, huh?

This is cute though, huh? You're

saving the environment for all of us.

Go hemp!

Unbelievable.

Okay, boys. Okay.

Keep it down. Keep it simple.

Hey, honey.

Where've you been? It's

a tie game, it's almost over.

Oh, I-I-I'm sorry.

I... I just...

I got caught at work

and then I had to park

in the far parking lot.

Let's go, Gladiators!

Go, Bucky!

Hey, where's Sam?

He's on the bench.

Okay, Bucky, let's go!

You're kidding me.

No.

Go Bucky! Finish it off!

Finish it off!

Come on, Bucky!

Yay, Bucky! Bucky!

Bucky!

Okay, Bucky.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

That's my boy, Bucky!

Attaboy, Bucky!

Hey, big guy, how'd it go?

It went great.

Bench is nice and warm.

I'm gonna see what I can do

about that, okay?

We'll see you

back at the house, Dad.

You played great,

Son. You played great.

I'm proud of you.

Come on, buddy.

Hi, you guys.

Oh, Barb.

Hi.

Hey, look who's here. Two

of my favorite people, and Phil.

Very funny, Dad. Haven't

heard that one before.

Hey, Buck.

I see you got a new case

for the Pel ball.

That's my ball.

Get away from that. Don't... Don't

get any ideas. Don't even touch it.

And now... Watch this.

An important message

from the King.

Hi, I'm Buck Weston,

King of Sporting Goods.

You can save...

Me.

Big on all kinds of balls.

Basketballs, footballs,

hockey pucks, baseballs...

Those acting lessons

really paid off.

Yeah, I got four stores now, and

I'm opening a fifth next month

in your neck of the woods.

You sure you

don't want a job?

I got a job, Dad.

Oh, yeah, what?

Selling... Selling vitamins?

In fact, you need to take

more vitamins.

I take a vitamin every day,

it's called a steak.

Now look, I came up with

this myself, look at this.

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