
Kicking & Screaming
I was born a baby.
A blank slate.
Thinking I was in control
of my own destiny.
And then I met my father.
You better be good at this stuff.
In college, I wasn't
the most gifted athlete.
But in order to
please my dad,
I strived to be
the very best.
Oh. Little help,
already out of control.
I'm losing vision,
it's blackness.
You guys here, you might
want to move out of there,
I gotta let go of this thing.
Oh-oh.
Look out! For Pete's sake!
How far was that?
Foot and three inches.
Hope you boys are ready.
See you at the finish line.
There's a... There's
a rabid cheetah in Lane 2 here.
Runners take your mark.
Get set!
Hold on! Wait!
I got it, right
below the knee, the nub.
Oh, that hurts!
No, no, no, no.
Your day's over, Phil.
Yes, I was quite the athlete.
Oh.
So much so,
that I caught the eye
of the prettiest girl
in school.
Oh. Are you all right?
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, it's no prob.
There's a horrible wind.
Uh, no, there isn't.
There is o-over there.
Dad? Hey, Dad!
Barbara said "yes. "
Hey, Son.
This is Janice.
I met her at the A&P.
Hi.
We're gonna get married.
Can I talk to you
alone?
Yeah.
Be right back.
Nice to meet you,
Barbara. Heard a lot about you.
It's nice to meet you.
She's great-looking. What you
talking about? She's terrific.
You're getting married?
Look, Phil, I'm
lonely. I'm a man.
It hasn't been easy for me
since your mom died.
She didn't die,
she divorced you.
Um, tomatoes, tomatoes.
You know.
Baby.
One year later, on the proudest day
of my life,
he was right there
by my side.
There he is,
your grandson, Sam.
Oh, by the way, he had a son
on the same day.
Take a gander
at your brother, Bucky.
Just a little bit bigger.
Welcome to my life.
Excuse me. Hey, y-you didn't
need to take up two spots.
Actually, I do. Look at the
size of this bad boy, huh?
This is cute though, huh? You're
saving the environment for all of us.
Go hemp!
Unbelievable.
Okay, boys. Okay.
Keep it down. Keep it simple.
Hey, honey.
Where've you been? It's
a tie game, it's almost over.
Oh, I-I-I'm sorry.
I... I just...
I got caught at work
and then I had to park
in the far parking lot.
Let's go, Gladiators!
Go, Bucky!
Hey, where's Sam?
He's on the bench.
Okay, Bucky, let's go!
You're kidding me.
No.
Go Bucky! Finish it off!
Finish it off!
Come on, Bucky!
Yay, Bucky! Bucky!
Bucky!
Okay, Bucky.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
That's my boy, Bucky!
Attaboy, Bucky!
Hey, big guy, how'd it go?
It went great.
Bench is nice and warm.
I'm gonna see what I can do
about that, okay?
We'll see you
back at the house, Dad.
You played great,
Son. You played great.
I'm proud of you.
Come on, buddy.
Hi, you guys.
Oh, Barb.
Hi.
Hey, look who's here. Two
of my favorite people, and Phil.
Very funny, Dad. Haven't
heard that one before.
Hey, Buck.
I see you got a new case
for the Pel ball.
That's my ball.
Get away from that. Don't... Don't
get any ideas. Don't even touch it.
And now... Watch this.
An important message
from the King.
Hi, I'm Buck Weston,
King of Sporting Goods.
You can save...
Me.
Big on all kinds of balls.
Basketballs, footballs,
hockey pucks, baseballs...
Those acting lessons
really paid off.
Yeah, I got four stores now, and
I'm opening a fifth next month
in your neck of the woods.
You sure you
don't want a job?
I got a job, Dad.
Oh, yeah, what?
Selling... Selling vitamins?
In fact, you need to take
more vitamins.
it's called a steak.
Now look, I came up with
this myself, look at this.
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"Kicking & Screaming" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 23 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kicking_%2526_screaming_11724>.