Katt Williams: Priceless: Afterlife

Synopsis: Comedian Katt Williams performs at Citizens Business Bank Arena in Ontario, Cal. Topics include California marijuana dispensaries; favorite TV shows; homophobia; police tactics; drug commercials; and the pros and cons of being single.
Genre: Comedy
58 min

He's the undisputed king

of underground comedy.

You've seen him

in "Friday After Next,"

"The Pimp Chronicles

One and Two,"

"It's Pimpin' Pimpin',"

"American Hustle,"


"Katt Williams:

"Wild 'n Out," and more.

He shut down the Internet


He's knocked out everyone

from 108 to 308 pounds.

He's back

and better than ever.

Ladies and gentlemen,

let's get ready

to chuckle!

Presenting Katt Williams!

This sh*t

is legendary

Trip like Jason Terry

P*ssy pink

as Katy Perry

This sh*t came

from nowhere


please don't go there

P*ssy Michael Jordan

No hair,

bald, had no hair

Bandz a made her dance

20s will bring

her friends


a change of plans

Boy, I came here

off Gramps

For a dollar, you'll do

all this for a dollar?

Play, make you think

she a scholar

Accent like

she super proper

Lick the swimming pool

Make her say,

"F*** all the rules"

Don't mind

if she get used

That poor nigga say,

"F*** school"

So I made

this foreign type

Aw, yeah,

now I'm so in tight

I said she married

to the moola

Show some

motherfucking rocks


This sh*t legendary

Trip like Jason Terry

P*ssy pink

as Katy Perry

This sh*t came

from nowhere


please don't go there

P*ssy Michael Jordan

No hair,

bald, had no hair.


You go, Katt!

Is the IE in this b*tch

this evening?

I had to get here,

'cause there's a lot

of sh*t going on,

not just in the world.

There's a lot of sh*t

going on with me.

I don't know

if you checked it out.

I was going through

some sh*t.

They arrested me five times

in five cities in five days.

What the f***?


I am not the international man of mystery.

What the f***?

They arrested me so much,

soon as I see the police,

my body just automatically

assumes the position.


See how I made

the hog-tie available?

'Cause they know

I like to fight.

It's f***ed up.

I got arrested in a Target.

How the f***

do you go to jail

in an electronics


A white man at the Target

caught me off guard.

He called me a p*ssy

and a n*gger

and a p*ssy and a n*gger

and a p*ssy and a n*gger.

And I said, "I am not

fixing to be one of these."

Bam! "What the f***

did I just do?

What the f***?"

See, life has a way

of sometimes

sending you

subtle wake-up calls.

Anytime you are standing

next to Suge Knight

and you are the person

going to jail,

that is a wake-up call

for your ass.

I'm in the pictures

like this.

Get my sh*t together.

It's f***ed up.

I said to myself

I don't know

what the f***'s going on.

We going to have to figure

this sh*t out.

Used to be

if I had some problems,

I could go to my therapist

at the weed place.

Yeah, Ontario's still

got weed places.

Couple over here.

Couple over here.

Couple over here.

I was in LA.

Ain't no weed places in LA.

They got a dispensary.

I don't know what the f***

that sh*t means,

but I think it means

"big as f***."

You are just in that

motherf***er, just...

Why do I have

a shopping cart?

I'm just saying you are

not supposed to have

500 different types

of deliciousness

in the same place

at the same time.

Got niggas overdosing

from smelling too much weed.

"Mmm, that is blueberry.

That's blueberry for real.

That is fresh as sh*t

right there.

That... white fire?

I ain't never even smelled

real fire before.

That is delicious.

Girl Scout cookies?

I love them.

Do you have Thin Mints?"

It's f***ed up.

And I should have stayed

out there where it was safe

with the leafy products,

with the bud,

but they got a room

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this is the first script i writed. Sorry if my english is bad more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Katt Williams: Priceless: Afterlife" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 8 Dec. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/katt_williams:_priceless:_afterlife_11632>.

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