Jim Norton: Mouthful of Shame

Synopsis: In this unrestricted jaunt, comic Jim Norton offers a personal perspective on romance, desire, and sexual proclivities.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Shannon Hartman
Actors: Jim Norton
61 min


First of all,

thank you so much for doing this.

I know you're busy.

I was kind of embarrassed to ask you.

What do you need, exactly?

Because I'm--

Um, I want you to--

-You're gonna look into the camera.


Get the audience really psyched up

to see me, a nice introduction.

Just get them really juiced

to have me coming out.

What about:
"Ladies and gentlemen,

you are in the for the night

of your lives.

This next comedian makes Jerry Seinfeld

and Chris Rock look like rubbish.

George Carlin and Richard Pryor were sh*t

compared to him.

Please welcome the greatest comedian

in the world:
Jim Norton."

Nah, it's just too much.

It's a little over the top.

-Is it?

-Yeah, too much.


-Kind of hard to believe all that.

Well, yeah. I was trying to big you up.


Something a little bit less


Right, okay. You don't want pressure.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize you didn't want pressure

when doing a special on Netflix

that's gonna be seen

by millions of people.

But you don't want pressure.

-It should feel honest.


-Honest is important.

-Okay. Honest. Yeah, honest.

What about:
"Please give it up

for the dirty, disgusting,

depraved little peeled turtle with AIDS,

the king of cum-guzzling himself,

Mr. Jim Norton."

-Too honest?

-Yeah? Sorry.


Hey, buddy. I've got a favor to ask you.

I'm shooting a special, and I'm looking

for someone to introduce me,

and I would love it to be you.

You'd just kind of say something nice

about me and bring me onstage.

If that would--

Look, I appreciate you doing this,

but it just doesn't seem

like you really mean any of it.

You don't believe what I just said?

Ladies and gentlemen, coming up

to the stage sometime soon,

in a little while, is Jim Norton.

-See? Right there. It's no good.

-What do you mean?

You don't sound like you mean it.

You've got to say it with conviction.

You're telling me how to deliver lines?

Your goal here is to get people

really happy and excited to see me.

I'm an actor. I'm not a f***ing magician.

You don't like the way I did that? Huh?

I didn't say I didn't like it.

Stop being so nervous.

Do it again,

you f***ing nervous little prick.

Go ahead, do it again.

-Your motivation should be--

-My motivation?

Should be--

Now say it again with conviction,

you ugly little slug.

Your motivation should be--

You dirty, nervous prick!

Jimmy, come on! You can do it!

Ladies and gentlemen,

do me a f***ing favor

and please welcome Jim Norton!

-[audience cheering and applauding]

-[rock music playing]

The world today

Is such a wicked place

Fighting going on

Between the human race...

Thank you.

Thank you very much for coming.

I really appreciate you being here.

How about that?

[audience cheering]

Robert De Niro spanked my bare ass.

I was sick the day we shot that,

and my whole fear, I was like,

"Please, don't sh*t on his hand.

Don't sh*t on his hand."

Look, I have a decent comedy career.

I'm doing stand-up over 20 years.

I'm not mainstream famous, obviously.

Kevin Hart is mainstream famous.

I have the type of fame where people

will see me, and they kind of--

Sometimes they know

they've seen me somewhere,

but they're not sure where.

It's never attractive women.

Even if they know me, they don't say it,

'cause they're not sure.

"Did I see him on stage somewhere,

or did he follow me home?"

I always have that--

"Did I see him on Louie

or in my bushes?"

But I don't know what you know

about comedians,

but there's nothing we hate more

than some random guy going,

"Dude, where do I know you from?"

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Jim Norton: Mouthful of Shame" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 28 Jan. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jim_norton:_mouthful_of_shame_11295>.

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