Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time'

Synopsis: Live from New York City, Jerry Seinfeld, aided and abetted by a host of friends and fellow comedians, performs his 1998 Emmy-nominated performance on Broadway.
Director(s): Marty Callner
  Nominated for 2 Primetime Emmys. Another 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
8.0
Year:
1998
75 min
203 Views

I guess I knew this day would come.

The day I have to bury a friend...

maybe my best friend.

We've been through a lot together,

some ugly moments.

I remember when prompts came in,

the ventriloquism scare of '84.

Sure there were times when people

would make fun of you.

Imitating you...

"Hey did you ever notice?"

"What's the deal with this?"

Who are these people?

They say the hardest thing for a person

to do is bury a loved one.

But those people never had material like this

The Tide commercial: "if you've got a

T-shirt with blood stains all over it

maybe laundry isn't your biggest

problem right now."

I don't understand it.

He walks away from the show,

he walks away from his act...

Are you sure this kid is Jewish.

Oh, he's Jewish. And don't ask me how I know.

It's just such a waste.

I mean, it all works.

Is there any cake?

Gary, what are you doing?

Listen, I got nothing on the post office.

- All right, take it.

-Thanks.

Get outta here.

Did you ever see his act?

No, not really, man.

Did you?

Yeah, yeah. He was good.

But I was full of drugs.

Ed, did you ever see his act?

Oh, he did the "Tonight Show" many, many times.

But, no.

Jerry, thanks a lot for being here.

This really means a lot.

Yeah, hey, listen... when...

when can you do the show again?

Oh, but I... I just retired all my material.

Is Carlos around?

Why is it the best

landscape in the neighborhood is

always in the cemetery?

Everybody's dead.

That's funny. Can I do that?

- Do what?

- The bit. Can I do that?

Well, that's not a bit. I'm just saying'.

I'm gonna do that. Ok?

You can't do it. It's my bit.

If it's a bit, it's anybody's bit who does it.

No, but I said it first.

I'm gonna do it for a while anyway.

Jerry, Alan King would like to

meet you on his territory.

He'll guarantee security.

Ok.

Hey!

Hey!

Mister, I know this is yours.

Don't you want it?

Sorry, kid. I don't do this joke anymore.

Oh, come on!

Look, I'm sorry. It's over.

But this is a solid bit! Please!

Alright. But I'm telling you for the last time.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Seinfeld.

Thank you. Thank you.

That was very, very nice.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Standing ovation. Now I know

there's always a...

Scuse me?

Perfect start of the show. Thank you

I know it's not easy for an audience

to give standing ovation.

There's always a few people that

don't really wanna do it.

I've seen those people. They're always like...

"Are we doing' this now?"

So, anyway, I'm thrilled to be back

here in New York.

I love how certain things

about New York never change.

They're always constant,

they're always there for you.

The cabbies and the BO.

What is with the BO and these guys?

How long are these shifts?

Can't we get this man a ten minute

break for a shower?

You're in the back and it's

coming through the glass.

You're just going: "What in the..."

Not only they put that cherry puppet

stuff on the dashboard

so you get a cherry BO.

I don't know what that's supposed to be...

Even the fruit showers more often than this.

The funny thing about being in these

cabs is that when you're in Manhattan

for some reason you don't get scared,

no matter how fast the guy goes.

Well, you know, he's driving

fast and recklessly...

but he's a professional.

He's got a cab driver's license,

I can see it right there.

I don't even know what it takes to

get a cab driver's license.

I think all you need is a face.

This seems to be their big qualification.

No blank heads are allowed

driving cabs in this town.

Also helps to have a name with

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Jerry Seinfeld

Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time'" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 24 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jerry_seinfeld%3A_%27i%27m_telling_you_for_the_last_time%27_11241>.

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