Jeff Dunham: All Over the Map

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Jeff Dunham:
Five continents. 12 countries. 19 cities.

50,000 miles. Five characters. One dead terrorist. We're all over the map.

(Title Card)

Jeff Dunham:
Hey, guys. I just completed the longest

and biggest tour I've ever been on, and I couldn't have done it without my wife Audrey, who's travelled everywhere, or without my friend Jeff Rothpan, who's never traveled further than his own mailbox. Was I little concerned about doing shows in the Far East, and Africa, and the Middle East? No, I was a lot concerned. But the adventures all began in Iceland.

(Iceland)

Jeff Dunham:
Walter, I'm just impressed that all these folks came out for our show tonight?

Walter:
Well, don't be?

Jeff Dunham:
Why?

Walter:
Well, it's Iceland. It's not you or us. There's nothing else to do here.

Jeff Dunham:
I know you read up a little bit before we came back.

Walter:
Yeah.

Jeff Dunham:
What you read about?

Walter:
The Volcanoes

Jeff Dunham:
You read about that?

Walter:
Yeah. imagine something that can erupt at any second and destroy everything in it's path.

Jeff Dunham:
Yep

Walter:
I'll Be Darned.

Jeff Dunham:
What?

Walter:
I married a volcano.

Jeff Dunham:
You know that Iceland has one of the highest life expectancies in the entire world?

Walter:
I did not know that.

Jeff Dunham:
Especially women.

Walter:
Huh?

Jeff Dunham:
Yeah, here a woman's average lifespan

and is 90 to 100 years.

Walter:
Send my wife home immediately. What is this?

Hell on earth?

Jeff Dunham:
How do you like the food here?

Walter:
Oh, very funny. I tried some of that... what do you called that? Hakharl hacaral hakaral. You cannot speak Icelandic without moving your lips, I'm telling you.

Think about it. There's no Icelandic ventriloquist ever.

I will say, though, I think the folks of Iceland are geniuses.

Jeff Dunham:
How's that?

Walter:
They know how to keep it from getting overcrowded with foreigners.

Jeff Dunham:
How's that?

Walter:
Simply by naming the place Iceland. It sounds like you'll freeze your ass off. Plus it's easier to say than the dark long winter land where the weather is ****.

We're morons for naming our country the United States.

Sounds way too welcoming. We should've called our country crazy assholes with guns.

Jeff Dunham:
Did you get a chance to go to a volcano?

Walter:
Oh, yes I did.

Jeff Dunham:
Did you take your wife?

Walter:
Yes, I did.

Jeff Dunham:
What'd she think?

Walter:
She kept saying the same thing over and over.

Jeff Dunham:
What?

Walter:
Stop trying to push me in.

Jeff Dunham:
On another subject you know strip clubs are also illegal here?

Walter:
Really?

Jeff Dunham:
Right

Walter:
So if i want to see a naked women i have to a six hour flight to Scotland.

Jeff Dunham:
Or there's your wife

Walter:
Oh that's true in Iceland, it legal to whale hunt.

Jeff Dunham:
That's not nice

(Cutscene)

Jeff Dunham:
So i do an interview with the Nancy Grace Of Iceland. Tough penetrating questions

Nancy Grace:
You probably have to face some criticism, how do you deal with it?

Jeff Dunham:
How do we face criticism?

Walter:
We don't care. Good thing we had to hold our own microphone this place is on a budget.

(Crickets chriping)

Peanut:
Look i don't want to start a riot or anything but i want all the hot Icelandic women to know, i'm easy, the only problem is Jeff will have to come along too.

Jeff Dunham:
I'm happily married.

Peanut:
Not my problem. Did you know that every

single city in Iceland is named after the sound a cat makes when throwing up a hair ball? I learned that.

Jeff Dunham:
That's not true. Oh? Reygoovableh. There it is.

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