
Jeff Dunham: All Over the Map
- TV-14
- Year:
- 2014
- 83 min
- 193 Views
Jeff Dunham:
Five continents. 12 countries. 19 cities.50,000 miles. Five characters. One dead terrorist. We're all over the map.
(Title Card)
Jeff Dunham:
Hey, guys. I just completed the longestand biggest tour I've ever been on, and I couldn't have done it without my wife Audrey, who's travelled everywhere, or without my friend Jeff Rothpan, who's never traveled further than his own mailbox. Was I little concerned about doing shows in the Far East, and Africa, and the Middle East? No, I was a lot concerned. But the adventures all began in Iceland.
(Iceland)
Jeff Dunham:
Walter, I'm just impressed that all these folks came out for our show tonight?Walter:
Well, don't be?Jeff Dunham:
Why?Walter:
Well, it's Iceland. It's not you or us. There's nothing else to do here.Jeff Dunham:
I know you read up a little bit before we came back.Walter:
Yeah.Jeff Dunham:
What you read about?Walter:
The VolcanoesJeff Dunham:
You read about that?Walter:
Yeah. imagine something that can erupt at any second and destroy everything in it's path.Jeff Dunham:
YepWalter:
I'll Be Darned.Jeff Dunham:
What?Walter:
I married a volcano.Jeff Dunham:
You know that Iceland has one of the highest life expectancies in the entire world?Walter:
I did not know that.Jeff Dunham:
Especially women.Walter:
Huh?Jeff Dunham:
Yeah, here a woman's average lifespanand is 90 to 100 years.
Walter:
Send my wife home immediately. What is this?Hell on earth?
Jeff Dunham:
How do you like the food here?Walter:
Oh, very funny. I tried some of that... what do you called that? Hakharl hacaral hakaral. You cannot speak Icelandic without moving your lips, I'm telling you.Think about it. There's no Icelandic ventriloquist ever.
I will say, though, I think the folks of Iceland are geniuses.
Jeff Dunham:
How's that?Walter:
They know how to keep it from getting overcrowded with foreigners.Jeff Dunham:
How's that?Walter:
Simply by naming the place Iceland. It sounds like you'll freeze your ass off. Plus it's easier to say than the dark long winter land where the weather is ****.We're morons for naming our country the United States.
Sounds way too welcoming. We should've called our country crazy assholes with guns.
Jeff Dunham:
Did you get a chance to go to a volcano?Walter:
Oh, yes I did.Jeff Dunham:
Did you take your wife?Walter:
Yes, I did.Jeff Dunham:
What'd she think?Walter:
She kept saying the same thing over and over.Jeff Dunham:
What?Walter:
Stop trying to push me in.Jeff Dunham:
On another subject you know strip clubs are also illegal here?Walter:
Really?Jeff Dunham:
RightWalter:
So if i want to see a naked women i have to a six hour flight to Scotland.Jeff Dunham:
Or there's your wifeWalter:
Oh that's true in Iceland, it legal to whale hunt.Jeff Dunham:
That's not nice(Cutscene)
Jeff Dunham:
So i do an interview with the Nancy Grace Of Iceland. Tough penetrating questionsNancy Grace:
You probably have to face some criticism, how do you deal with it?Jeff Dunham:
How do we face criticism?Walter:
We don't care. Good thing we had to hold our own microphone this place is on a budget.(Crickets chriping)
Peanut:
Look i don't want to start a riot or anything but i want all the hot Icelandic women to know, i'm easy, the only problem is Jeff will have to come along too.Jeff Dunham:
I'm happily married.Peanut:
Not my problem. Did you know that everysingle city in Iceland is named after the sound a cat makes when throwing up a hair ball? I learned that.
Jeff Dunham:
That's not true. Oh? Reygoovableh. There it is.
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"Jeff Dunham: All Over the Map" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jeff_dunham:_all_over_the_map_11217>.