Jason Nash Is Married

Synopsis: Jason is stuck living in the shadows of his more successful wife and two young kids. When debt threatens to destroy his family, he jump-starts his career, a move that sends him down of a rabbit hole of nefarious characters and sociopaths. Along the way, he must confront a pedophile movie star, a chauvinistic therapist, a trust-fund cokehead and a painful discussion about who his wife would marry if he died. Yet when Jason finally finds success he realizes there's more to marriage than just paying the bills.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jason Nash
Production: CC:Studios
85 min


- Man, I tell you.

It is... it is hard.

I hear her... her voice

in my head all the time.

I walk in the door,

and she's asking me

something to do.

When the... when the lock turns,

she's like, "can you"...

it's unbelievable.

I mean, it's... and then,

you know, I don't have a job.

And I can't get a job

because I'm constantly

watching the kids.


I mean, I got to tell you, man,

sometimes it feels like I threw

my whole life away.

- Oh, Jason, that's ridiculous.

Come on, man.

You're doing the right thing,


You got a beautiful family.

- You really think so?

- Yeah.

- Thank you so much

for saying that.

- Ooh, you know what?

I'm supposed to f*ck this chick

on the other side of town.

So I'm gonna take off.

Unless you want me to stay here.

'Cause I don't have to f*ck her.

I can stay here with you.

- No. No, of course.

- Okay, yeah,

'cause I-i got to go.

- Okay.

- You let yourself out, right?

- Yeah.

How... see you later.

- Two, three, four.

- I have this joke I do

in my act,

and it goes like this:

People used to ask me, "you look

so happy with your wife."

What's the secret?"

And the secret to a great

marriage is very simple,

and here it is:

One person eats shit

over and over again,

breakfast, lunch, dinner,

and the other person

soars like a bird,

higher and higher,

flying horizontally

between two canyons,

and then coming back around

and feeding off the lost dreams

of the first person.

And if you don't have that,

well, then,

you'll never be happy.

I was married for seven years.

It was the hardest thing

I've ever had to do.

There's no right and wrong

in marriage.

It's just what will work.

- Hello?

I'm open for business.

- Yeah, I know,

and you look great.

I just... you know, we've been

getting along so well lately.

I don't want to ruin

the friendship.

And that's not to say

I'm not to blame.

- Jason, you look amazing.

Ooh, seriously, though, busy.

How do you keep your hands off

this guy?

- Well, you know,

he doesn't make any money,

so it's not hard.

- I could've got a job,

and I could've ditched

my dipshit friends.

Arthur, it's Jason Nash.

- It's Jason fucking Nash!

- Yeah, what's wrong with you,


- What's happening?

- Let his kid in your school!

- I don't have much

control over...

- ah, yeah!

- See, unlike me,

busy knew exactly

what she wanted at all times.

- Jason, I can't go.

I have work. I have work.

- It's really a great quality.

Okay, so mommy's gonna stay

here, okay, guys?

And we're gonna go.

But if she wasn't doing

what she wanted...

- All right.

She was very unhappy.

Isn't this great?

- It's really, really not.

- And in the end,

I did what a lot of guys do.

I fucked things up.

- Do you have someplace to go?

- Ah!

- Hey, whoa.

- Ah, ah.

- Sorry, neighbor.

Didn't you hear me knocking?

- Yeah, I did.

I didn't want to talk

to anybody.

- Hey, I'm scooter.

Official single-guy

welcoming committee.

Little known fact:

I've had my dick out in every

apartment in this building.

- Scooter, I just moved in,

and I'm actually going through

a separation,

and I'm just feeling

a little depressed.

- All us divorced guys,

we look out for each other.

- Yeah, I'm separated.

- What's with the dick sweeper?

- Well, you know,

we're just living

in a cool part of town now,

so I was just trying to do,


a silver lake

hipster kind of thing.

- Mm, more like a

"gargle another man's balls"

kind of thing.

Not that I haven't been there.


Just fucking with ya.


What's this?

- That's my wig and costume box,

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Jason Nash

Jason Eric Nash (born May 23, 1973) is an American actor, writer, director, comedian and YouTube personality. Best known for his channel on Vine, he was also a semi-finalist on Last Comic Standing in 2010. In 2016, Nash co-produced and starred in the movie, FML alongside friend and fellow YouTuber, Brandon Calvillo. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Jason Nash Is Married" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 28 Oct. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jason_nash_is_married_11194>.

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