Jack, Jules, Esther & Me

Synopsis: When Lou's romantic plot to win the heart of his model congress running-mate falls apart, he's forced to improvise.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Daniel Poliner
Production: FilmBuff
106 min

All right.

- Here we go, here we go, here we go!




Dude, this place is fucking awe...

- Dude.

Your brother going to rehab was one of

the best things to ever happen to us.

Right, dude?

This place is freaking sweet!

You know that if you smoke

Viagra, your whole body gets hard.

I know what happens

when you don't smoke that.

Oh, man!


Look at you, dude!

Remember the goat?


Come on, Jesus!

The funny part is, it was soda.

He's not gonna take it, bro.

- No?

Dude, what the f*ck

are you watching?

Dude, I'm watching

Smurf porn, Jack.



It's so blue!

- Oh, Papa Smurf!

Oh, papa. - All right! Papa.

Pay attention.

Holy shit, man!

Did you just Power Point us?

Yes, I did. This is serious.

directionless, underachieving, etcetera.

Then, January 17, 2006,

I meet Jules

at Jack's Bar Mitzvah.

Everything changes.

Dude, you're Jewish?

No, not really.

It was a really great party, though.

- It was.

I figured I might as well,

you know.

I don't

ask for her number. Four years pass.

A lot of sadness, masturbation...

just a corrupt soul.

Then, April 19th, 2010,

Model Congress,

Jules nominates me to be her VP.

We run on a platform of racial harmony...

- Yeah!

Educational reform...

- Hmm!

General ass-kicking.

We win.

She kisses me on the neck.

It was intimate and intense.


Dude, it looks like

she head-butted you.

Uh regardless,

it was enough to say,

"Hey maybe not now, but someday,

when I don't have a boyfriend. "

My life changes.

I-I-I become interested in politics,

Obama, and...

all that social justice stuff.

All because of Jules!

And now,

now she's single.

I gather courage,

the plan begins.



- What?


30pm, we hit Vicio's restaurant.

- Nice.


for 14, Seven guys, seven girls.

It's just chill, you know.

No one's feeling

any romantic tension.

15pm, we hit Lavo.

A couple of smooth beverages, you

know, I'm near Jules. Not hovering.

And then Jack and I suggest that

we walk to Wexler's party.

Take the scenic route, cross the


- Slip it in.

- And then, at approximately... 11:17pm.

Take one, pass it down.

You want me to say this line,



you rich private school kids.

Give me your money or I'm

gonna make you anally pregnant?"

I fucking love that line, and I

don't even get it. - I'm gonna...

I'm gonna anally ram you.

I feel like I should say that.

I feel like that sounds better.

It's-it's... "ass pregnant",


And then I say, "Everybody

be calm, just be cool. "

And then you say?

"Listen you, I'm only afraid of

God and Luis Sosa.

So you better step off. "

I-I don't know, dude.

I mean...

I heard Jules doesn't

even date dudes, anymore.

He's not wrong.

I'm not sure it's true

but there's a persistent rumor

she loves boobies

as much as I do.

That's a lot, dude.

I mean, I heard a rumor that

she was dating some college guy.

Whatever, you know.

We leave for school in a week.

If I don't do anything now, she's definitely

going to get with some other dude.

So, it's now or never.

The plan is like,

fucking holy, man.


- Oh!

- Let's do this shit.

Hello, man.

- Ah!

You know I am, dude. It's J.L.

Power Productions, our last hurrah.


Not our last.

Oh, you know

what I meant, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.


See ya.

- See you later, man.


Ready for this one?

Oh! Yeah Uh-huh

My name is a...

Costa Rica

Uh-huh, yeah

My name is one


For my people, for my people

Dig on, dig on

Yeah! Chile, Bolivia

My name is a...

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"Jack, Jules, Esther & Me" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 31 Mar. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jack%2C_jules%2C_esther_%252526_me_11116>.

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