It's Not My Fault and I Don't Care Anyway

Synopsis: Patrick Spencer is a legend in the self-help world, teaching a level of considered selfishness that would make Ayn Rand jealous. "Why are we sitting in cubicles, flushing the hours of our lives down some corporate toilet, and not even reaping the rewards! Instead our toil goes to wives and husbands and daughters and charities and relatives who are down on their luck, and other such parasites who would drag you down and keep you from your truest self. They will pull you under. It is you or them." Brian Calhoun is a giant, towering over 7 feet tall. He's also a homeless heroin addict, living in his Dad's old Cadillac, who's been recruited by his dealer to be his thug - paid in free heroin. "I mean, that is like a lot of heroin, a week's supply! Maybe I could get ahead on my bottle collecting...to an addict like me, that's like a dream." Diana Spencer is the disaffected daughter of a famous and emotionally detached father in a support group for her sex addiction. "My sex life was getting
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Chris Craddock
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.3
Year:
2017
96 min
91 Views


1

The lips, the teeth,

the tip of the tongue.

Tip of the-tip of the-

tip of the tongue.

The lips, the teeth,

the tip of the tongue.

Tip of the-tip of the-

tip of the...

Giantman.

How you doing.

Hold it

right there, big fella.

Five minutes, Mr. Spencer.

Okay.

Um...

Would you mind?

Yeah. Sure.

It's for my sister.

Okay. What's her name?

Daniel.

And there were

all these bikers, you know,

they were all cumming, like

all over me, and it was hot,

and then I thought...

Who am I? Who are they?

So then I thought,

maybe I do have a problem.

So that's why I'm here.

That's it.

Okay.

That was very brave.

Thank you, Victoria.

Okay.

You're next.

Really?

You can do it.

Hi, I'm Diana.

Hi Diana.

I don't wanna say it.

The second part.

I'm not gonna say

"And I'm a sex addict".

I don't know if that's

even really a thing, like

it's controversial, medically.

I think the real reason I'm here

is 'cause I'm a girl. You know?

I like sex and I'm a

girl, so I must be sick.

If I were a boy

it would just be like,

'ha, ha, ha, you know,

teenage boys are so horny'.

Can I smoke in here?

No.

In rehab, you could smoke.

Excuse me,

Detective Stone?

What do you need?

It's about the

Spencer kidnapping.

I hear you have a suspect.

Is that him?

Big fella.

That's him, right?

Who wants to know?

The public.

I'm a journalist.

Oh. Well, then.

No comment.

Care to elaborate?

Yeah.

No, none, zero.

Statements, things

to say, comment.

No comment.

Can I quote you?

So...

Where should I start?

Why not start at the beginning?

Okay.

We were a happy family,

when I was young.

Back before people

started dying.

Bernice?

Bernice!!

And my Dad

was never the same.

He started drinking, and,

well, he hated bullies.

Hey! That's

enough of that now!

Hey f*** you!

Don't you ever put your hands on

a woman. Do you understand me?

C'mon.

I'm sorry.

F***ing, come on!

Dad?

Are you okay?

I am gonna call 911.

Stay with me.

I want you to-

I wanna say it now-

I'm your father,

and you always gotta do right.

Even when it's hard.

Because I ain't always

gonna be there to help you.

You do right, you hear me?

I'm gonna call 911, Ok?

- Stay with me...

- It's gonna be ok.

Okay, son.

Wait.

You go, son.

Go.

Seems like

pretty deep background.

It's all related, sir.

Cause it's how I came to be

in this weakened condition,

available to bad influence.

Continue. Please.

Well, I started doing drugs.

I tried everything, you know.

But heroin...

Heroin was the one that stuck.

And after I sold everything,

I was living in my

Daddy's Lincoln.

It's not that bad.

Nothing's that bad,

provided you're on heroin.

You don't mind stuff that much.

Comforts and morality and that.

That's no excuse, I know, but...

It's a reason.

Showtime.

Public Speaking.

It is the Number One

fear in the world.

And why?

Because it is the

one time you know,

everyone is looking at you.

His palms sweat.

His pulse quickens.

And if you listen real closely,

we can even hear his thoughts.

Oh my God.

Oh no, they're

all looking at me.

Oh! How's my hair?

I hope there's

nothing in my teeth?

Oh no, I wish, I really

wish they would stop.

It's scary, when

everyone looks at you.

But it doesn't have to be.

Hi.

I'm Patrick Spencer.

Of course, you can

see the size of me.

Sure.

There's this gland in my

head, the pituitary gland,

and mine, it just

keeps going and going.

It's a medical condition.

Symptoms include shortened

life span, heart troubles,

benign tumors -

Okay. When did you

meet Johnny Adebayo?

Is that his last name?

We always call him

Johnny Three-Fingers.

Nobody knows how he

lost those fingers.

Some say he lost em in a bet.

One guy told me

he chewed them off to get

out of a pair of handcuffs.

I buy my medicine from Lil'

Charles, but everybody knows

that Johnny's the boss.

Well, one day I was

buying my medicine,

and I was about 50 cents short.

Yo, that's

50 cents short, Giantman.

Yeah. I think I got it.

Yo. You ain't got it,

you ain't got it.

Move along, double-stuff.

Oh my holy

mudda of f***.

Is dis a mountain

I see before me?

Are you some kinda urban

Sasquatch? You all seeing dis?

You seeing the raw, magnificent

size of dis here muthafucka?

Yeah, boss. They call

him the Giantman.

Giantman!

Now what's this, you say

you fifty cents short?

Yeah.

Can you give me a break?

I mean, it's only fifty cents.

And I feel everyone

stop and then I remember why.

I said 'only' to Johnny.

About money.

He once beat a man half to

death for saying 'only'

about five dollars.

Only!

Only you muthafuck...

Only five dollars, you fuckwad!

F***!

And that's a famous

story where I live.

I really screwed up bad.

Yeah, Giantman.

I'ma give you a break.

I'm give you a big break!

So, I'm told that being

a young person with absent

parents, I need extra guidance

or whatever, or else I risk

being a super f***ed up mega-

b*tch and I'll spend all

my money on coke and be a freak.

I don't want that, and

neither do any of my agents.

So here I am.

But I also have to ask, are

you sure that this the cure?

Telling these stories?

Because like, yours

are all like super hot.

It's seriously, I mean like,

titillating, you know.

You with the pool boy...

And like you giving

blowj*bs at the airport...

I never did any of that stuff,

but now I kinda want to!

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Chris Craddock

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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