Is Anybody There?

Synopsis: Set in 1980s seaside England, this is the story of Edward, an unusual ten year old boy growing up in an old people's home run by his parents. Whilst his mother struggles to keep the family business afloat, and his father copes with the onset of mid-life crisis, Edward is busy tape-recording the elderly residents to try and discover what happens when they die. Increasingly obsessed with ghosts and the afterlife, Edward's is a rather lonely existence until he meets Clarence, the latest recruit to the home, a retired magician with a liberating streak of anarchy. Is Anybody There? tells the story of this odd couple - a boy and an old man - facing life together, with Edward learning to live in the moment and Clarence coming to terms with the past.
Genre: Drama
Director(s): John Crowley
Production: Big Beach Films
  2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
94 min

I'd just like to say thank you all

for being here for our first year,

all of our lovely residents,

all looking so smart,

and for choosing us here at Lark Hall,

and for having a bit of faith in us.

And Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.


And a Happy New Year.

When a man grows old

and his balls grow cold,

and the tip of his prick turns blue...

...when it bends in the middle

like a one-stringed fiddle,

he can tell us a tale or two.

What did Father Christmas bring?

I don't believe in him.

I shan't see another Christmas.

Mind you, if I was like her,

I'd shove my head in the gas oven.




What? I'm busy!


Arnold's dead.

Try and be careful!

Can I have my room back

now Arnold's dead?

No. But you can get in this sleeping bag

when he's finished with it.

Can we have a bit of respect, please?

Don't go in that room, Eddie!

'No, you bloody lift him,

you idle monkey! '

- I'm not Daley shitting Thompson!

- All right, Father, keep your hair on!


'I read it in The Daily Express. '

90% of small businesses go down

the tubes, apparently, in the first year.

I should stop you reading that paper.

Bloke in Scarborough hung himself

in his sporting goods shop.

Yeah, but people don't need

sporting goods.

They're always going to get old,

aren't they?

It's just teething troubles, Steve.


'Uhhhhh... '

What do you think you're playing at?

I could have killed you!

Oi! Come here!

And on Boxing Day, we went to the top

of Skidby Windmill and I got badge.

No, you got "a" badge.


On Christmas Day, Arnold Doughty, 90,

went blue and died.

So far, there has been

no communication from him.

I think I've made a mistake, all right?

- Just give it a day. Please.

- No, I'm fine, thank you.

But we've just moved all that in.

I'm moving it back out again.

All right? It's my things, isn't it?

Who is he?

Some gaga old fart Social Services

have sent. Lost his wife.

Lives in a camper van. Like Popeye.

Clarence! We can get your stuff just how

you like. Take as long as you want.

- That's not a word.

- Yes, it is.

- "Taxi. "

- You're not playing properly.

Remember your first day at school?

It's a bit like that.

- It is a bit like that.

- The first night's the worst.

- Oh!

- I went as mad as her, first few nights.

Be quiet!

Otherwise the war will start again.

A lot of jabbering simpletons

rushing about, wetting themselves.

People you don't know

telling you what to do.

- I'm off.

- Hey!

Just give it a go.

This is temporary.

This is only temporary.


Why doesn't she let him go

if he wants to go?

She should do.

Then I can move back into my old room.

You can move back if you can pay us

50 quid a week.

'Tonight, haunted houses, ghost-hunting

'and the search for life after death.

'The most famous ghost-hunters

and their most famous cases... '


- Your daughter is on the phone.

- Mavis? Really?

Mavis, oh!

'Did a ghost leave these chilling

messages asking for prayers... '

'What do you think of their chances?

Who's going to win?

'I wouldn't like to predict that, Phil. '

What do you want ringing wastefully from

Canada? A stamp costs hardly nothing!

Mum! I want to watch "Arthur C Clarke"!


What do you want doing with those?

Clarence wants to watch

"One Man And His Dog". He's paying.

- You're a naughty girl.

- It's about ghosts!

We're all naughty girls.

Oh, ball-bearings!

Wouldn't mind being alone with that one

in a long, dark railway tunnel.

- Can I get my wages, Kath?

- Sorry, yeah.

It's very important.

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Peter Harness

Peter Harness (born 1976) is an English playwright, screenwriter and actor. He has contributed to programmes such as McMafia, City of Vice and Case Histories. more…

All Peter Harness scripts | Peter Harness Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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