
Irreplaceable You
- Year:
- 2018
- 96 min
- 2,639 Views
[delicate piano music]
[Abbie] What if we stayed in bed all day?
[Sam] That sounds like the best day ever.
We should stay here all week.
[Abbie] What if we got bored?
[Sam] Us, bored?
When have we ever been bored?
[Abbie] What if we got hungry?
What would we do for food?
[Sam] Well, we could order takeout
and have it delivered right here.
[Abbie] But then what if we lost our jobs
and apartment
and we had no place to live?
[Sam laughs]
[Sam] Stop. Stop worrying.
[Abbie] Full disclosure:
I didn't have to worry about any of that,
because this is where my story ends.
So does yours, by the way.
So does everyone's.
It's okay. Really.
Calm. Peaceful.
One with nature.
Most of it I don't miss at all.
Really.
But then, there's Sam.
- [Abbie] Hi, Sam.
- Hi, Abbie.
[Abbie] Sam was... is the love of my life.
But let's start at the beginning.
[guide] And here we come
to our coral reef, home to many species,
including over 50 types of fish,
the green moray eel, the cownose ray...
Oh, those guys are mating.
Okay. Uh, look over there!
Why are, like, six of them
mating together?
Which one is the mommy?
See, here's the thing, kids,
fish are not like people.
They're not monogamous.
Not that many people are either,
but that's another...
What's "monogamous"?
Well, uh,
okay, monogamy means
if you love someone,
you stick with them for the long haul.
My dad screwed my Aunt Rosa.
My mommy and daddy are separated.
My mom ran away with my dentist.
My dad said she was getting
Yep. It's not easy.
Lots of things can separate us:
Aunt Rosa, the dentist,
Lauren Mulgrew in World of Amphibians.
However,
there actually is one monogamous fish.
The deep-sea anglerfish.
The male anglerfish hunts for the female,
following her through
the most dangerous parts of the deep.
Then, when he finds her,
he bites into her flesh
and never, ever lets go.
The two fish fuse into one.
And we're walkin'.
And we have our listening ears on.
[screams]
[Abbie] And that was it. True love.
[bright music]
Well, true love
plus an emergency room visit for Sam,
and a lot of therapy for me.
Girl, don't wanna say
I wanna stay apart
Girl, you try to change
Hey, don't wanna say
I'll never stay up till
[rock music]
[Abbie] Sam's telling the story
of the bite, again,
which was a romantic gesture!
Really it was a behavioral problem.
She bit like six kids that year.
You're the only one
Well, I had to go to the hospital.
- Six stitches.
- Three stitches.
I almost got kicked out of school.
You should have been kicked out of school.
You were rabid.
For years, I've tried to have her
de-fanged and de-clawed.
- Nice, Mom. Really nice.
- Hey! Oh! Guys, guys, guys!
Everybody, everybody,
come... come this way, please.
- I would like to make a toast.
- Oh, Benji...
- Oh, yeah.
- That's a really bad idea.
- Not a toast.
- Sam, Sam, it's already started.
Uh, happy engagement, you guys. Yeah?
- Happy engagement.
- Cheers!
Yeah! To the bride and groom! Huh?
I mean, they don't make any sense
on paper, right?
I mean, Abbie is type A
and Sam is type Z.
- Come on, I'm not type A.
- Uh...
What is a Z?
I mean, how did an amazing woman
like you
end up with the most clueless white dude
in the city? I mean, like...
- Like, you know, I mean, you...
- Benji!
- I'm not...
- Really. Dude.
- This could be your best toast ever.
- [Benji] Look, honestly,
I generally disapprove
of people who are as disgustingly happy
as you guys are,
(4.00 / 2 votes)
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"Irreplaceable You" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 7 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/irreplaceable_you_10976>.