Synopsis: This film is about a group of four teen offenders who go to the country for the weekend with two other youth workers. They end up at an old country house near the town of Mortlake in Yorkshire. After they clean up the house so they can stay there they all head in to the village for some well earned drinks only to run in to the local "town folk". The next day they go to a place that has old train carriages to collect some scrap metal when they again run in to the locals, but this time it ends up with one of the youth workers being hurt badly. They go in to the village for help but it turns out to be the worst thing they could have done. The locals aren't as friendly and welcoming as they thought.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Alex Chandon
  2 wins.
Rotten Tomatoes:
90 min

Alright, I had planned on taking

a walk around the garden

and showing you the lake.

Really Clive, I don't expect

you to control the weather.

- Still, we can make much of it.

- Indeed.

Let's just see

what's been prepared.

- Lemonade.

- Marvelous.

- Glass?

- Please.

You really are

quite beautiful, June.

And you really are

quite a charmer, Clive.

The lemons were freshly squeezed

this morning by by my staff.

- Really?

- Yes.

- Excuse me, Mr. Willis?

- Yes, Jack?

Can I get some of

your lemonade, please?

No, you certainly may not.

It's become improper, Jack.

Back to your chores.

Smart even,

I never knew this quite.


Is it also improper for me to stick

my cock in your good lady's mouth?

- Jack, have you gone mad?

- Yeah.

One sip, one sip, one sip.

- One sip of lemonade is all I wanted.

- Jack! No!

Lemon f*cking-ade.

Could've been fine.

Stupid f*cking bitch.

Oh, they should have

given him a lemonade, man.

Yeah, you noticed they go

the f*cking madman with an axe.

Oh, wait and see

what he does with the bodies.

So f*cked up.

Hey guys, guys, come on now, please.

What did I say about swearing?

That it's funny.

Just put the phone away.

Put the phone away, now.

Okay, well thanks.

Jeff, the SAT NAV is broken.

What's the matter with it?

It just says we are

completely off the map.

Could it be isn't it

updated or something?

How do you date it?

Plug it into a laptop.

Here, this is a trooper

map, Coordinance Survey.

And they never lie.

There you are, you see?


Right up the end of this road.

Carry on.

- Are we there yet, Jeff?

- No.

I don't know why you bother her?

She ain't going to talk.

She like a mute or something.

- Woah? What respect?

- No, no, it means she gonna talk.

Woah! Didn't know

you could talk, Tim.

Yeah! Cut it out man.

Giving me a headache back there.

We don't want your

life story, man. Alright!

- Ow! You f*cking bitch!

- Well, what's going on, huh?

Calm down, please.

Hey, Tim ..

- Got any sexy pics on your phone?

- No, why?

Not? Well, you're a

bump behind there?

- Is he always such a prick?

- Yeah.

Oi Jeff, can we smoke?

I definitely need a smoke, mate.

- Oi Jeff. Are we there yet?

- No, twat, we're not f*cking there yet!


- I think we're there, Jeff. Yeah.

- Further up the road, I think.

Trust... trust. Yeah.

Okay, further up. Keep going.

- Really?

- Yeah.


Why is it not on here?

"The Dirty Hole"?

That's charming.

Well, Mortlake is one of the

north's oldest coal towns.

I suspect the name

probably refers to mining.

You'll like that, yeah old Jeff?

The cottage should

be straight up here.

Well, it's been

certainly rustic, isn't it?

- Rustic?

- This gonna be shit.

- Did you see that?

- Yeah.

We have another ... another 200 yards.

First one to see it gets a prize.

Everybody out.

Come out and get some fresh air.

Wonderful, huh?

No, I'm away till Monday.

I called you not to tweet me.

Yeah. No, I can't decide.

Yeah, alright, so. Just that ...

- Dwight, phone please?

- What?

We haven't come all the way out

here to look at another way of life

so you can miss it just cos you're

chatting to late on the phone or

or viewing dirty pics, have we?

Hmm. Phone please.

No, I'm getting licked from some idiot.

Yeah, alright. Later.

Good lad. Okay.

Same applies to everybody.

Just put your phones in the bag,

so we can appreciate our environment.

- A f*cking joke.

- Okay. Thank you.


- What are you thinking?

- What am I thinking?

Well, I think that I've stayed in

better squats than this, Jeff, really.

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Alex Chandon

Alex Chandon (born 3 November 1968 in North London) is a film director, writer and digital artist. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Inbred" STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 16 Oct. 2019. <>.

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