1 INT. NUMBER TEN CORRIDOR/MALCOLM’S OFFICE - MORNING 1

MALCOLM TUCKER, government director of communications,

is arriving early. He's on the phone. Passes a CIVIL

SERVANT.

MALCOLM:

You're in Mark Hadley's office, yeah?

CIVIL SERVANT 1

Yes.

MALCOLM:

I need to see him.

Another CIVIL SERVANT hands Malcolm a CD. Without

breaking flow Malcolm raises an eyebrow, what's this?

CIVIL SERVANT 2

Monitoring. Simon Foster on The PM

Programme. Wonky Ron on Farming Today.

CIVIL SERVANT 2 walks off.

Malcolm starts to walk through to his office. Malcolm

reaches his office. His assistant SAM is there. He

hands her the CD and she puts it into a CD player and

it starts playing.

MALCOLM:

Well, what are you waiting for son, a

fucking sex-change?

Civil Servant 1 hurries away.

Malcolm starts listening to the recording of Simon on

the radio.

MALCOLM(CONT’D)

So, Sam. What’s the dynamic Simon

Foster, going to wow us with?

SIMON:

(v/o on radio)

...and of course the big one is

diarrhoea, which is a major health

issue in these countries.

MALCOLM:

Diarrhoea? C’mon, Simon. You’re

International Development. Talk about

food parcels. Not arse-spraying

mayhem...

SAM laughs.

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IN THE LOOP SHOOTING SCRIPT @ 11/6/08

1 CONTINUED:

1

SIMON (V.O.)

And so if we can tackle the easy

things, like diarrhoea.

MALCOLM:

He said it again. what is this? The

Shitting Forecast?

2

EXT. TOBY & SUZY'S FLAT - MORNING/INT. MICHAEL’S FO 2

OFFICE - MORNING

It’s busy at the Foreign Office. SUZY is in her boss

Michael’s office, getting lots of documents, folders

etc ready. She’s on the phone to TOBY, who’s heading

out of their flat.

INTERCUT PHONE CALL:

SUZY:

You okay? First day at the new

department? You've got that thing

from the SMF you wanted to show them?

TOBY:

Oh yeah. Got my policy papers. Got my

packed lunch. And my comfort blanket -

which is a rug stitched full of

heroin.

SUZY:

Have a good day. Call me if you need

help, yeah?

TOBY:

Cool. Is Michael still in Zurich with

Fatty?

SUZY:

Back this morning. Michael says

Fatty’s in a bad mood. He’s got water

retention.

TOBY:

Christ. I wouldn’t want to be around

when that blows. I can probably

organise some spare tents for the

flood victims. D’you know, Fatty’s

the first Foreign secretary to have

really understood globalisation by

physically achieving it.

Toby heads off. He's feeling chipper. It's a new dawn,

is it not?

Page 2

IN THE LOOP SHOOTING SCRIPT @ 11/6/08

3 INT. DFID OPEN PLAN OFFICE 3

JUDY:

Mark, are you co-ordinating that

millenium goals press release?

Yes.

MARK:

JUDY:

Well co-ordinate it better.

MARK:

Yes, can do.

JUDY:

Is that the Minister? Bloody nail -

has anyone got a nail file?

4 INT. DFID OPEN PLAN OFFICE - MORNING 4

SIMON is arriving with JUDY. Simon carrying his red

dispatch box. Simon’s worried.

SIMON:

Have we heard anything from Malcolm

about last night’s interview?

No not yet.

JUDY:

SIMON:

Perhaps he didn’t hear it.

JUDY:

Or maybe he’s dead.

SIMON:

(with a degree of genuine

hope)

He might be dead. He might have had

that massive stroke we’ve all been

waiting for. It’s in the post.

JUDY:

He’ll want you to row back from the

‘unforeseeable’ thing on Question Time

tonight.

SIMON:

Fine, I can row. I rowed for my

college. Well, I was a cox. On

Question Time, you know the funny

question they always ask at the end?

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IN THE LOOP SHOOTING SCRIPT @ 11/6/08

4 CONTINUED:
4

JUDY:

Yes?

SIMON:

Can we prep that now? I want to shine

on the funny question, cos I’m a funny

guy. With a light touch.

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