In the Army Now

Synopsis: Bones and Jack are two guys with very little going right in their lives. The two decide to join the Army as part of the water purification team and eventually find themselves on the front lines in the conflict between the northern African countries of Chad and Libya. The two men, along with a few companions, have it upon themselves to save the day in combat, something they know little about.
Genre: Comedy, War
Director(s): Daniel Petrie Jr.
Production: Buena Vista
Rotten Tomatoes:
91 min

Well, uh,

here's lookin'at you...

- pilgrim.

- Laughing.

- So, Jack, this is good.

- What are we gonna do tonight?

You know what?

I was gonna ask you.

- Can Gabriella hook me up with her, uh...

- Oh, you know what?

She's got this new friend

she met the other day at the mall.

- Her name is Rosa.

- Yeah?

- She's Spanish. Espanol.

- Si, si, senor.

But the only thing-

Wow, watch out for that.

The thing is, Rosa,

she's kind of dumb.

Watch out for the water.!

Water, water.! Aah.!


- She's kinda like, she's kinda like... large.

- That's good for me.

Bones, look out.!

You're gonna get killed.!

If it's too hot for ya, son,

get outta the kitchen.

This is war.

No room for the faint ofheart.

When you're in the heat ofbattle,

and you lean down...

and put your hand

in a puddle of goo...

that two seconds before

was your friend's face...

that is war, son,;

now that is war.!

This right here?

This is just a game.

- Look at this road right here. See that?

- Hop it.

Boom.! Watch this.


- That's nice.

- See how I just blow those guys?

- Look. Now there's the thing.

- Look up! Look up!

No, on the-


Game over.

You are dead.

Shouldn't we get back to work?

I'm working. Look, I'm testing out

new products.

What are you so paranoid for, anyways?

Pretty soon we're gonna have our own store.

Quinn's gonna fire your ass

from this place.

Do you think I'm scared

of that- What is he?

He looks like Lurch.

Hey, I'm Quinn.

- Are you afraid of him?

- No.


Quinn's lookin' for you.

I told him you were

playin' video games.

Hold this, okay? I gotta do somethin'.

Oh, yeah, you're not afraid, huh?

This is all for you.

See all the money I'm savin'?

Wow, Quinn, look at you!

You're lookin' fantastic!

Is that a new suit?

It's got to be Armani.

Oh, it's J.C. Penney.

At least you wear it well.

Is that Brut I smell?

What did we say about

leaving the sales floor?

You told me not to,

and I won't.

If this place catches fire,

I'm sellin' tape decks to the firemen.

You're not selling anything

to anybody!

- That's why we're letting you go.

- Where?

- Home.

- No, no, Quinn. Hey, you can't fire me.

C'mon! I'm a Crazy Boy!

I'm a dedicated Crazy Boy.

- Bones, let's not drag this out.

- Quinn, look. C'mon. Please.

My rent's due. My mom needs

another tummy tuck. Please.

- No, Bones. No, not this time.

- Please, there's a lot of personal-

Please don't let me go,

Quinn. I could be crazier.

Let go of my leg!

I could be totally insane!

- Bones, let go of my leg.

- Bones, you have a customer waiting.

You'll have to excuse me, Mr. Quinn.

I have a customer...

a customer who evidently

asked for me by name.

- Hi.! May I help you, miss?

- Yes.

You sold me this Watchman last week,

and I have to return it.

I knew you'd be returning it.

It's too small. It'll ruin your eyesight.

Besides, I could tell

the one you really want is this one.

This is our


Our very best 35"

projection stereo color monitor...

with advanced

super-digital P-in-P.

I'm sorry.

That's way out of my price range.

Not with our $200 rebate,

no money down...

ten-month deferred,

64-month layaway plan.

You ask yourself,

"How could it be?" Right?

Because-a we're-a

Crazy Boys!

- Sorry, they make us do that.

- That's a very nice offer, but-

- Plus this screen promotes good eyesight.

- Really?

Four out of five optometrists

recommend it.


I'll take it.

Okay, fantastic.

I'm gonna take this to the cashier,

and I'm gonna arrange everything.

Thank you very much.

- ... needed for a carryout.

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Ken Kaufman

Ken Kaufman was born in 1963. He is known for his work on Space Cowboys (2000), The Expendables 2 (2012) and The Missing (2003). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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