If I Had a Million
- PASSED
- Year:
- 1932
- 88 min
- 83 Views
I'm afraid we can't do anything today.
We're all upset. Mr Glidden, you know?
- Yeah, what's the latest report on him?
- He may die any moment.
I understand he's leaving his business
to his employees.
Where did you hear that?
Who told you? Did you get it straight?
Listen, uh...
It would be impossible for us
to make a decision in this.
Mr Glidden
always takes care of these things.
Oh, I see. You really think
he'll do something for you?
Huh? Oh, no.
I wouldn't dare drop any kind of a hint
or the old boy would cut me off.
No, I think dignified silence is best.
Just pretend I'm worried about him,
not thinking about the money.
Doctor, is Mr Glidden any better?
Well, his temperature's all right,
but his temper's terrible. I think...
- What? Again?
- Again.
- We drew his last will just two hours ago.
- What a man.
I don't wish him hard luck,
but if he is dying...
You wish he'd die
and be done with it?
Well, he's waiting for you.
You...
Don't talk to me
about my employees.
Dummies.
Idiots. Fools.
Not a business head
in the lot of them.
Bankrupt the whole business in a year.
Stupid cowards. No brains, no nerves.
Just a lot of sheep who do what I tell 'em.
When I'm not here to tell them,
they'll make a meal
for the first wolf that finds them.
- He's been going on like that for hours.
- Out of his head?
Who's out of whose head?!
Who said that I...
Where's my glasses?
Hey, you couldn't find a dumbbell...
- Now, Mr Glidden.
- "Now, Mr Glidden."
Shut up! I wish I was out of my head!
Then I wouldn't have the sense to worry.
No, Mr Glidden. There's nothing
to worry about. After all, things are...
Nothing to worry about?
I'm dying and I don't know of one man
in all the thousands that I employ
that's fit to leave in charge
of a peanut stand.
I wouldn't say that.
Your last will...
- My last will's no good!
- Mr Gli...
- You can't...
- I forbid you.
Oh, shut up, all of you!
Get away from me!
What do you know about a will anyhow?
You're only a lawyer.
Now, Mr Glidden,
you shouldn't exert yourself this way.
"Now, Mr Glidden."
I'm up, aren't I?
I walk.
Every time you leave the room, I walk.
I walked over there
just a little bit ago.
Nobody's gonna tell
John Glidden what to do.
What if it does kill me?
I'm gonna die anyhow.
Today, tomorrow,
what's the difference?
Now, just a moment
and I'll fix you up a...
Yes, I know what you'll fix me.
Ten drops
of the most marvellous sedative
ever discovered
by the medical profession.
Ten drops. One of these days
I'm gonna take 11 drops!
Or nine! And see what happens.
I don't want to be fixed, anyhow.
What I want to know is
who's going to take my place when I'm gone?
Well, if you're not satisfied
with your business associates,
perhaps you'd like to make
a more generous bequest to your relatives.
Relatives?
Ha! Relatives!
Did you see 'em
roosting down there like a lot of vultures
waiting for an old steer to die?
Relatives! It's the first time in my life
I saw them all together.
Relatives! Ha!
- Mr Glidden, you can't go out in the hall.
- I can't?
I've been out twice already
this morning. Yes.
And if the sight of those greedy
penny pinchers didn't kill me, well...
- Come on.
- Mr Glidden.
- Shut up, you quack!
- Well, I...
Look at 'em.
My relatives.
Pick out just one for me.
Pick out just one man, woman or child
that's fit to pick up where I leave off.
I'll be glad when you're dead,
you rascal, you
I'll be glad when you're dead,
you rascal
Johnny! Oh!
There. That kid's
the only honest one of the lot.
Huh!
For two cents,
I'd leave him my entire for...
No. I don't like
the shape of his head.
Nah.
No matter how I distribute my money
among them, they'll all be miserable.
Those that don't get anything
will be crying the rest of their lives.
Those that get plenty
will holler for more.
I wish I could collect
all of my money together in one pile
and burn every dollar of it.
- Mr Glidden!
- I do.
- Now, now.
- I do!
You don't really mean that,
Mr Glidden.
I do mean it, friend.
Every word of it.
building up a business,
amassing a fortune.
Now my life's coming to a close.
I want this business and this money
that I leave behind to mean something.
I want to give somebody
a chance for happiness. I don't care who.
I just want somebody
to have something worthwhile
out of what I spent my life
to accumulate.
That's my major dying desire.
And for the soul of me,
I don't know how to gratify it.
No. No, Mr Phelps,
we haven't placed an order yet.
Indeed, I'd be glad to see your firm is
considered, just as soon as Mr Glidden...
- Mr Glidden what?
- Why, uh, um... Mr Glidden, it was only...
Don't you lie to me.
I know!
You were talking to that Phelps,
that old tombstone peddler.
Well, don't you buy one of his tombstones
to put over me.
If you do, I'll come back and haunt him!
And you, too!
- Oh, if I could only get him to be quiet.
- How long do you think he has?
Ha-ha! I've got it!
- I've got it! Get me the city directory.
- Huh?
You heard!
The city directory.
I'll show those vultures.
Now what's he up to?
Well?
Why don't you ask me
what I'm going to do? You needn't bother.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to leave my money to strangers -
people I've never heard of,
people that don't expect it.
They may get some pleasure out of it.
- Open that book.
- You can't do that, Mr Glidden.
- Why can't I?
- Well, the relatives would break the will.
- Relatives?
- They would.
- I agree.
- That's right.
Oh, they would, would they?
How long am I going to live?
Why, Mr Glidden,
I can't tell you that exactly.
Well, I can tell you exactly!
I'm gonna live just long enough
to go out and give my money away myself.
Yes, sir!
To people I've never heard of.
Give me that doodah -
that medicine dropper - and fill it.
At last,
I've found a use for that thing.
Give me that book.
The first name that this drop falls on
is gonna get one million dollars.
What's that name?
- "John D Rockefeller."
- What?
Hold that book over here.
One.
Two. Nobody can tell John Glidden
how he's gonna spend his money.
This is one of the nicest
we have in the store. I'm sure you'll like it.
Oh, I'm sorry,
but that isn't what I want at all.
Come, Pearl.
Good day.
One shopper held me up for two
hours, without a bit of encouragement.
- Well, I had two dandy orders.
- However, it's payday.
Oh, my!
- Cover that Lalique before you go.
- Very well, sir.
- Uh, Mr Bullwinkle.
- Hello, Peabody.
Mr Bullwinkle, sir, they took 11 dollars
and 60 cents out of my pay this week.
Well, we can't let you break all the china
you want without charging you.
- You should be more careful, Peabody.
- Yes, I am careful. It isn't always my fault.
It's an awful job carrying china all the time,
especially up and down the stairs.
I think I belong back in book-keeping,
where I was.
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"If I Had a Million" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/if_i_had_a_million_10612>.
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