Ice Breaker

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Here come the rain

Here come the rain

I'll get high

You'll get high

We'll get high

You'll get high

You'll get high

You'll get high

I'll get high

Oh the little thing When you roll

Is like a nice little girl I know

Just a brush through her human hair

It's just a touch of desire to spare

You'll get high

We'll get high

We'll get high

I'll get high

You'll get high

We'll get high

We'll get high

We'll get high

We'll get high

We'll be high

I'll get high

We'll get high

I'll get high

We'll get high

We'll get high

All through the night

- [Kevin] Okay, so imagine that this piece

of paper right here is the app, okay.

- [Guy] What's an app?

- [Kevin] An application,

you know, you use it to interface

with electronic devices.

- [Guy] What?

- [Kevin] Those little games

you play in your phone,

does that ringing any bells?

- [Guy] Like a gizmo?

- [Male 1] Yeah, sure.

Whatever works for you.

- [Guy] What's the point?

- [Kevin] Well I mean the point is

it introduce yourself an

like an interesting way.

You know.

- [Guy] Why don't you just

go up and talk to her.

- [Kevin] Because that's not cool.

I mean you can't just walk up to her,

so I write her a note instead.

You just want to write a note.

That's more interesting, you know.

So you do this, watch, watch.

- [Guy] Hey, yodi, I'm Kevin.

- [Kevin] Yeah, yeah.

- [Guy] What's a yodi?

- [Kevin] Alright, just no

more questions please, please.

Alright, so what I'm gonna do is

I'm just going to rip this guy right here.

Do that.

Do this.

Alrighty,

so I'm gonna throw it over to her.

- You're gonna throw it.

- Yeah, and it's gonna

land next to her hand.

And then she's gonna see it,

and she's gonna open it up

and be like "oh my God,

"this beautiful man

just wrote this for me,

"he must be so attractive

and probably owns

"like really nice cars."

So just get ready, alright.

Here I go.

No, no, trust me.

- Where's my shake?

- This guy's been bothering me all day.

Okay.

No, no, let me throw it.

- Don't.

- Oh my God, okay.

Um, um, um, oh my God.

Okay, I'm gonna go do that.

And I'm gonna be right back.

- Kevin.

- Sir.

- Did you clean the men's room?

- Yes sir, yes, it is pristine.

- So that's why the toilet

is covered with poo?

- Sir, I promise I will get done with it

as soon as possible,

but really I need to get over there.

- No, no, you need to do it now.

- No, no, no please sir.

Oh, oh my God.

- Kevin?

What's a yodi?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Oh, oh, oh Bertha.

Bertha, no, no, no honey.

You remember all the times

that we've gone together,

and we've done great things,

but please, come on please.

You're gone.

Oh my God.

Son of a (horn beeps)

oh sh*t.

Oh that's hot.

Hey guys.

My car broke down.

- Hey Kevin, catch.

(boys laugh)

I got him boys.

- Hey, hey, Tyler.

It's your favorite cousin.

Kevin.

Kevin Cassidy.

Yeah, yeah, that's me.

So the reason why I'm calling

is because I have this new app

and it's called Ice Breaker

and everyone loves it,

and I need to live in Austin.

And you live in Austin,

so I need to live with you for free.

Yeah, really?

No.

Oh my God.

Wow.

This is so exciting.

Well I just got halfway done

rolling my socks.

No, don't worry about,

I'll take a bus.

I'll take a train.

I will piggyback with the hobo.

I will do anything.

I will be there, okay.

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

I'll see you then.

Okay, goodbye.

Man.

Poor Bertha.

See, it's not hard to talk to people.

You can do it.

My name's Mr. Sock.

I'm gonna go to Austin.

Yay, yay, yay.

I'm going too.

This year's gonna be the year

That I get ahead,

Get a life and get a job

I'll move on,

Move forward,

And network and get it right

Oh this year's gonna be the year

That my dreams come true

I'm gonna read the paper in the morning,

Do the crossword

And talk to my neighbor

But I'll be the same guy

That I was last year

And the year before

I'll be the same guy

That I was the last year

And the year before

I'm gonna stop right now

Baby walk it out the door

- Hey, hey, hey what the hell man.

What the hell.

- [Kevin] Don't worry about it.

- Jumped out of my trunk.

Knew I shouldn't have

taken my meds this morning.

- [Radio Man] Are people fake as sh*t?

Do you want to just quit your job

and move to India?

Join me.

My name's Matt Carlson.

And I'm picking up people

from all over the country

to fly into India with me.

- Hey, hey Tyler.

- [Tyler] Hey what's up man?

- I well I think I'm here.

I'm just calling to make sure

that everything's lined up.

Are we good?

- [Tyler] Ah, I don't know man.

I'm just sick of all these fake people.

- Tyler?

- [Tyler] All day I'm in this nice suit,

just sucking up to

these plastic mannequins

with dead eyes--

(dial tone)

- How about that one coming

out of the ballet studio?

- You know ballerina's are graceful,

that's my kind of thing.

Like graceful women, you know.

With a smooth walk.

- Oh man, I see a cougar

coming back from sixth street.

What do you think of that?

- I don't know, I can't really

handle cougars right now.

They want money,

and let's be realistic,

it's not that time for me.

I'm kind of in a rough time.

But I can play that off.

That's why I got you, Rocky,

we're all good.

- Oh yeah.

Oh sh*t, is that a roller derby girl.

- Oh my gosh, they're rough.

But that's cool.

I mean I could play that game too.

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